In bed with my enemy
by poppiam
Summary: She's a threat to the club, the one person who can send them all to jail for life and destroy the club. But one of the Sons knows about her and he is lying to his club. Will he be able to do what needs to be done to protect his club? Jax/OC
1. Set the fire to the third bar

_**Here comes another story which has been playing in the back of my mind for quite some time. Enjoy and please review!**_

Jesse had to get out of there. Of all times and places, her car had chosen this night and road 42 to break down. And after spending fifteen minutes cursing herself for leaving the motorway and forgetting to charge her phone, she had gotten out of the car and started walking hoping to find help on her way. She hadn't.

After walking for half an hour under the relentless rain and seeing no proof of life around her, she had finally thought her troubles were over when she had caught sight of a neon sign in the distance. But her joy was short lived when she got closer and took in the seedy dive. In normal circumstances, Jesse would have never set foot in a place like this and for a moment she was tempted to just turn around, get back to her car and wait it out until the morning. But she was freezing, soaked and she was probably being overcautious.

From the minute she had walked into the bar, she'd known it had been a stupid idea and she should have followed her first instinct. From the outside, the place had looked like a dump but the inside was even worse than she' expected. The air smelled a mixture of cigarettes, cheap cologne and stale beer. A pole dancing stage stood in the centre but was presently empty. She glanced around and noticed a two men playing pool across the room. One of them was tall and muscular whilst the other was short and stocky but both were equally menacing. They both wore white wife beaters showing off heavily tattooed arms. The tall one spotted her and a crooked smile came up on his face as he nudged his friend. The short man turned to her and the same creepy smile appeared on his face. He took a sip from his beer and Jesse noticed a big swastika tattoo on his hand. He put down his glass and made his way towards her.

"Can I help you sweetheart?"

"Yes, I…I'm sorry to bother you but my car broke down a few miles away and I was wondering if I could use your phone?"

The man took a moment to answer her question. Jesse could feel his narrow eyes on her like a predator watching a prey and she tried hard to hide her discomfort.

"Sure. The phone's this way."

He laid the way and Jesse followed clutching her handbag against her. The man led her through a corridor at the back of the bar and eventually stopped turning back to Jesse as he unlocked a door."Phone's in here". Jesse instinctively stopped and felt the urge to turn around and get the hell out of there.

He must have seen her hesitation because his lips formed a sinister smile. "Don't worry sweetheart, I only bite if they ask nice."

Jesse pursed her lips together and forced a smile before walking past him. She couldn't help but let out a sight of relief when she saw the room was indeed a small office. In the corner, she noticed a big wooden desk with the phone.

"Phone book is on the desk."

She walked to the desk and dialled the first cab number she found in the book. After a long minute, an operator picked up and once Jesse confirmed her location, the feminine voice advised that a cab would be there within half an hour. Jesse hated the thought of having to wait there for so long but she thanked the lady and hang up.

"All good?"

Jesse turned around startled to come face to face with the man. She hadn't heard him walk behind her. Again, she masked her discomfort at his proximity with a smile." Yes, they'll be there in 15 minutes."

The lie had come out of her mouth before she could stop it and she wished it were true. "Do you mind if I use the bathroom?"

"Knock yourself out."

She moved past him and hurried down the corridor to the bathroom she had spotted earlier. She locked herself in the first stall and leaned on the door. Just being in this place made her somewhat feel dirty and she couldn't wait to be home and take a long shower.

Just at that moment, she heard a big blast inside the bar and the next few minutes felt surreal. One minute, the only sound she could hear was metal rock coming out of the speakers and the next all she could hear were guns blazing.

* * *

><p>Jax surveyed the room betraying no emotion. The smell of fresh blood was already in the air. Jax had never particularly enjoyed the violence inherent to the club but the two dead men had been responsible for the savage beating and rape of a young woman in Charming and Jax could only feel that justice had been served.<p>

He watched as Clay approached the bodies and spat on them. "Let's get out of here."

They all turned to go as one when a noise resonated from the back of the bar. The men looked at each other, already raising their guns. Jax raised his hand to stop them and pointed to Opie to follow him out back.

* * *

><p>Jesse cursed herself for revealing her presence. She had been frantically looking for the pepper spray she always carried in her purse, but her hands were trembling and the pepper spray had fallen from her grasp onto the floor alerting whoever was out there. She was now crouched over the toilet seat biting her hand to muffle any sound.<p>

The door to the bathroom opened slowly and Jesse closed her eyes as if she could teleport herself out of this mess. She heard footsteps moving from stall to stall and clutched the pepper spray in her hand although she knew it would be pointless against a gun. The intruder suddenly stopped moving and Jesse held her breath in, certain she had been found. But after a few long seconds, the steps moved away and she heard a man voice.

"All clear. Let's go."

She waited for a moment and let out a big breath as she realised that she had just barely escaped with her life.

* * *

><p>Deputy Chief David Hale walked out of the bar and let out a sigh. He knew this mess was the work of the sons. This was their sense of justice. He also knew that they will probably never be able to find any evidence to prove it. He had been so hopeful when he'd heard there was a witness to the massacre but once they had questioned her, they had realised that the terrified woman had been in the bathroom the whole time and had not seen anything. If anything, she had been lucky not to be found. The sons didn't go around hurting women, but if there was a threat to their precious club, who knew what they would do.<p>

He looked at the pretty woman sitting in the back of a patrol car. She was still in shock staring at the floor as if she wasn't unaware of the police, forensics teams working to process the scene.

She had been unable to tell them much, she was still in shock. How long had she spent in that bathroom terrified that they'd come back? The worst part of it is that this was just the beginning. Once reality dawned on her, Hale knew the woman would break down. Hard.

"Dr Gardner?"

She looked up with a haggard look "I lost my pass. My access car to the hospital. I had it in my purse and I can't find it."

"Are you sure you had it?"

"I…think so, I don't know really. I just want to get home"

Hale looked at her with genuine concern. She looked so fragile, almost lost." I'll have an officer drive you home. Is there anyone we can call? Friends, family?

"No, I just moved her a couple of weeks ago, I don't really know anybody. I'll be fine."

"Alright."

"Deputy Hale, are you going to catch those men?"

Hale thought about what to answer. He knew the Sons would probably get out of this scot-free but he had sworn to himself a long time ago that he would bring the Sons down. One day.

"Yes."

She gave him a weak smile as he closed the door on her. He turned to the blond officer who would drive the doctor home. "I don't want Unser anywhere near this."

Officer Perkins had been in Charming long enough to know about the complicated relationship between Chief Unser and the Sons who were the prime suspects of the hit tonight.

"What do I do if he asks me?"

"The truth. Just don't mention Dr Gardner."

"What about the report?"

"Write it. But run it by me before you do anything with it."

She knew exactly what he was asking. And she knew what would happen to the report once she'd give it to him. She also knew that tampering a criminal investigation report was illegal. He must have seen the look on her face because he lowered his voice. "You know that the minute Unser hears about this witness, he'll tell Clay Morrow. We have to protect her."

She trusted Hale. She knew the man lived by a strong moral code and would only do what was best for the people he was meant to protect and for Charming

"Okay." she finally replied.

* * *

><p>"Hey Jax."<p>

Jax turned his attention away from his beer and turned to the pretty young thing named Cindy Donovan. Cindy was a recent addition to the ever growing crow eater scene that seems to spend their life hanging around the club. She was young and still had a certain naivety about her. She was rolling strands of hair in her hand and pursed her lips in a flirtatious pout in an effort to be sexy. And she was. In a very obvious way but she was still sexy as hell.

"How about that pool lesson?"

Any other night, Jax would have taken her hand, led her directly into the clubhouse apartment and let her do the rest. But something stopped him. "Sorry darlin', not tonight."

He could see the disappointment in her eyes but she quickly recovered. "Another night then." She said placing her hand on his torso before walking away.

"Oh man, I can't believe you just turned _her _down. Have you seen the ass on her?

Jax turned to Juice laughing. "Wasn't feeling it. But go for it man."

"She's so out of Juice's league." Chuckled Opie joined by Juice and Jax.

Jax finished his beer and stood up from the stool "Alright boys, I'm gonna pack it in."

"Alright man."

They watched him walking away and Juice turned to Opie. "What's with him?"

"No idea."

* * *

><p>Jax closed the door to the apartment and took off his clothes. After the night they'd had, he was exhausted. Preoccupied too. He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and took out a plastic card he ha picked up on the bathroom floor of the bar earlier. It was an access card with the picture of a pretty woman in her late twenties with blond hair and soulful grey eyes. He couldn't help but wonder what a woman like her, a doctor had been doing in that damp at that time of the night. Because Jax had known that someone was hiding in the last stall. He had known it was a woman straight away as he could smell her perfume in the air. And he had guessed she was probably the owner of the pass he was holding in his hand at that instant.<p>

But he had lied to his brothers pretending no one was there. He had chosen not to reveal her presence because he had been worried about his brother's reaction. The woman had probably been hiding in the bathroom the whole time so she probably hadn't seen anything that could link the Sons to the murders. But he couldn't be sure that she hadn't seen anything, like he couldn't be sure that she wouldn't be able to identify them. He had to know, he had to find out for sure and he had to do it without the club finding out because if they did, he had no idea what they would do to the young doctor to protect the club.


	2. The place you have come to fear the most

Clay struck the gavel silencing the men around the table. "First order of business, we got paid for the Niners delivery. 15 grand each. God bless America" he announced with a self-satisfied smug.

Business had been going slow and it had been a long time since they'd all taken such a big cut. The turn in their luck was welcomed by groans of satisfactions around the table.

"Next, we got a shipment coming in two weeks. Half of it goes to the Tacoma and Rogue River brothers. So be ready for a run.

"I thought we were going to lay low for a while?"

Clay turned to his step son hiding his annoyance. The boy always tried to undermine him, pushing him to play the cautious side. "I spoke to Unser. There's nothing for us to worry about. Hale got shit. We're back to business as usual. Unless you got a problem with that VP?"

The men around the table held their breath and shifted their gaze. They had gotten used to the long standing feud between Clay and Jax and knew the best thing was to let them deal with it together. Jax gritted his teeth; he didn't like to be admonished in front of the others. Most of all he knew this "shit" wasn't over.

It had been a week since that night and they had yet to take any heat for it save for the dirty looks Hale sent their way when their paths crossed. However, Jax knew there was an unknown in the mess. Dr Jesse Gardner. At first, he had been surprised that Unser hadn't told Clay about her. Jax had then cleverly deduced that either the woman had left before the cops showed up or Hale was keeping Unser in the dark and he tended to believe the latter. Jax knew Hale hated the Sons with a passion and would do anything to bring them to justice. He had to figure out what the doctor knew so he could be certain of Hale's end game.

* * *

><p>Jesse signed her last chart and left it on the desk at the nurses' station before looking at her watch. Five more hours to go before her shift ended and she was already drained. She hadn't been sleeping much since the attack a couple of weeks ago. Every time she closed her eyes, she kept reliving it except this time they found her. It hadn't been her only symptom too. A week ago, she had started crying at the fruit section of the grocery shop. Just like that. She hadn't been able to stop and had to run out of the place. A couple of days ago, she had had a panic attack in the middle of a surgery. The patient had been shot four times and she had found herself completely frozen, unable to move and another doctor had to finish the surgery. She was a doctor. She knew what the medical term for this was. She repressed a yawn and made her way to the coffee machine. She was going to need a lot of caffeine to make it through this day.<p>

"You look like hell." She heard behind her.

She smiled and turned around to face Janine Johnson, an outspoken nurse that Jesse had started to befriend. "Gee thanks, you look great to."

"I always look great." Janine retorted with a grin. "But seriously when was the last time you slept?"

"It's not falling asleep that's the problem, it's staying asleep." Jesse muttered back.

"You think maybe it's time for you to ask one of the doctors here for some magic pills? I hear they do wonders."

"I told you, I'm not really into medication. I'll sleep….eventually."

"You doctors really do make the worse patients."

Jesse laughed as the true statement and her pager went off. She looked at the number and groaned. "Margaret Murphy. Urgent. She's been watching me like a hawk since the attack. I better go see what she wants."

"Good luck!"

* * *

><p>Jesse knocked on the office door and popped her head in.<p>

"Dr Gardner."

"Hi, I know you wanted to see me but I've got Mrs Langdon's angio at three and I need to get the patient briefed."

"Dr Sullivan will do Mrs Langdon surgery."

Jesse stiffened "You gave him my surgery?"

The hospital administrator took a breath in, used to doctors passive aggressive reactions to her authority "Please, have a seat."

Jesse walked over and sat on the chair as told, trying to mask her growing anger. She didn't like being treated like a child. She had caught the look of pity on the older lady's face and she hated it. People had been looking at her like she was going to break any moment for two weeks and she was getting sick of it. "What is this about Margaret?"

"The hospital has some concerns, Dr Gardner. You have been through a tremendous stress and we feel that you haven't taken the time to deal with it."

"The hospital or you."

"I represent this hospital's interest."

"I'm fine. Whatever happened I'm dealing with it."

"You were late for rounds 3 times this week, you're sleep deprived…." Margaret countered.

"Like I said I'm fine."

"There was also the incident a couple of days ago during Brandon price's surgery. Look you have been through something traumatic and you need some time. But I have to think about our patients."

"I am a good doctor. I would never do anything to endanger a patient."

"You already have. Look, I believe you're an excellent surgeon, Dr Gardner." Margaret conceded. "But I also think you need to take some time off."

"What if I refuse?"

"This isn't a request Dr. And I also think you should try and talk to someone. I'm happy to recommend…"

Jesse couldn't deal with this conversation anymore "Can I go?" she interrupted

"Yes off course."

"Thank you."

Jesse left the room hurriedly closing the door behind her. "Shit."

* * *

><p>Unser walked into his office and was annoyed to see Hale standing by the window, no doubt waiting for him.<p>

"Is there a reason why you're in my office?"

"I bet Clay was relieved when you told him that we couldn't link the sons to the murders."

Unser sighed. This was like a regular dance they had both been playing for a while "And what makes you think I told Clay anything?"

"Because I know you asked Perkins for the final report." Hale pointed out.

"You might have forgotten but I'm still Chief here. I can ask whatever the hell I want son."

Hale sniggered. "How do you look at yourself in the mirror? You sold this town out to the Sons. They are criminals and you're letting them off the hook."

"Frank Donowitz and Bobby John Oaks beat and raped a young woman. In my book, those two got exactly what they deserved. They're no crime here.

Hale had to stop himself from shouting What about Jesse Gardner? The woman had been an innocent bystander in all this and she was a victim too.

"It's murder and we both know it."

"You want to arrest the sons? Then find some evidence. Until then, I have some work to do."

Hale marched back to his office reeling with anger. He sat at his desk and unlocked his top drawer taking out a single sheet of paper. It was Jesse's Gardner interview. Hale had debated destroying it and erasing any trace of the woman's presence that night. But he had long ago decided he would never betray his badge and destroying evidence was crossing that line. So in the end he had simply purged it from the report he had provided Unser with and kept it under wraps until he was confident the woman was no longer in danger. The only thing that gave him comfort was that Unser was getting older and was now battling cancer. One day, he would be Chief and when that day came the Sons reign over Charming would be over.

…..

"Hi, I'm Jesse. I'm an addict."

They were about 15 people in the room. They saluted her and Jesse paused. She had never liked public speaking, but in a way Margaret had been right she needed to speak to someone. It might as well be here. After she had left the hospital she had gone home and paced around the house not really knowing what to do with herself. She had been sober for over two years now and didn't go to meetings that often but she had thought this would be a good thing for her. "This is my fifth meeting here but it's the first time I talked. My boss told me I should speak to someone. I guess she didn't know I'd have an audience."

Jesse heard a few chuckles and smiled, her eyes surveying the room. She caught sight of a man she had never seen before. He had a smile on his lips and his gentle eyes were trained on her willing her to continue her story. "Anyway, I recently went through something and it's been hard. Really hard actually. But I'm trying. The old me would have probably turned to drugs looking for an escape from it all. But I know I'm stronger that the person I used to be, so… That's it I guess.

The crowd broke into quiet applause and the meeting was dismissed. Jesse made her way to the side tables were coffee and biscuits had been laid out.

"Nice speech."

Jesse looked up and saw the man she had spotted in the audience earlier. He was taller than she'd expected, muscular too with long blond hair and a nice inviting smile. But what Jesse noticed most were his eyes. He had beautiful baby blue eyes that seemed like they could look straight into you. He was the type of guy girls swooned over.

She poured herself a glass of water. "Thanks. I'm not that great at public speaking."

"Couldn't tell."

"I don't think I've seen you here before."

"I usually got to another meeting. But coffee is crap to be honest. Thought I try this one instead." He said holding his cup up.

"Not sure that was a good idea. I don't know what they put in it but it's terrible."

He chuckled good-humouredly and held out his hand. "I'm Jax."

"Jesse." She replied as she shook his hand.

He already knew that. He knew a lot of things about Dr Gardner. In the last two weeks, he had been following her often. He knew where she shopped for grocery, what brand of cereals she bought. He knew she went to an NA meeting in Lodi and didn't like it so she came to this once a week in the evening. He knew she went for a run every morning at 6, that she could do 5 miles in less than half an hour. He knew what car she drove, what type of phone she used and what music she listened to. He knew that in the evenings she liked to relax with a book and a glass of wine. Yes, he knew a lot of things about Jesse Gardner.

"So what do you say I buy you a cup of coffee somewhere?

Jesse looked down. "I don't think it's a good idea. I should really get going anyway. It was nice meeting you Jax."

"You too."

* * *

><p>Hope you enjoyed it!<p>

Title Song: The Dashboard Confessional.


	3. Lucky you

Jax watched her walk away realising his mistake. He had come on too strong and had scared her off. To be honest, he wasn't used to be turned down by women. He never even had to try. It wasn't presumptuous but girls were usually more than happy to get any attention at all from him. But then, this girl was as far away from a crow eater as they could get and he knew he was playing in a whole different league. He just had no idea what the rules were supposed to be. What he did know though was that he needed to get close to her, to see what she knew and find out if she was any threat to the club.

* * *

><p>Jesse hurried down the parking lot. She knew she had probably come off as rude and snotty and it hadn't been her intention but she had spent enough time in NA over the last two years to know that socializing with fellow recovering addicts of the opposite sex was never a good idea. Plus, her life was a right mess at present and the last thing she needed was more complications.<p>

"The guy only asked you for coffee" she sighted, knowing she had probably overreacted.

As soon as she stepped into her car, she locked the doors. It had become a compulsive habit since the attack. She turned on the ignition and was unpleasantly surprised to hear the engine cough up a few times before dying out.

"You have got to be kidding me" she groaned.

She had just gotten her car back from the garage and they had assured her she shouldn't have any issues for a while. She tried again but got the same result, driving her to hit the wheel in frustration. She reached for her phone, ready to give an earful to the garage owner if they deigned to pick up when she heard a sudden rap on the window. She cried out in alarm only to turn and recognize the man from the meeting, Jax who was now eyeing her with concern. She let out a sigh of relief and rolled her window down.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." he offered apologetic.

Embarrassed by her reaction, Jesse brushed him off. "It's not your fault. I was just distracted."

The concern on his face didn't relent though. He nodded to her hands "You're shaking."

Jesse looked down self-consciously and noticed the tremor in her hands. She placed them on the wheel in an effort to control the trembling. "You startled me, that's all."

"Yeah, I usually have that effect on women."

For the first time in over a week, Jesse felt herself genuinely smile. Jax stared at her contentedly. In the two weeks since he had started following her , it was the first time he saw an actual smile on her face. She was naturally pretty, he had spent enough time observing her to notice that but that smile had just illuminated her face.

"So the car giving you trouble?"

"You noticed that, uh?" she replied good-naturedly. "I really don't understand, I just got it checked a couple of weeks ago. The guy assured me it was fine."

" Mechanics would tell you anything."

"Yeah, you know that first hand?"

"Kind of. I'm a mechanic."

This time, she laughed. "Really?"

"What? I don't look the part?"

"No, it's just… I haven't had the best luck lately, so meeting a mechanic the night my car starts playing up would be a change."

"Tell you what, I'll fix your car and I'll let you buy me a coffee." He saw the hesitation cross her face because he quickly added. "It's just coffee."

"Just coffee?"

"Just coffee."

"Alright."

He popped the trunk open and bent down on the engine. Making sure she wasn't watching, he took out the spark plug he had taken off her earlier from his pocket and screwed it back on in its original place. It had been an improvised back up plan and he was glad it was working. "Alright, try it now."

She did and a second later she heard the comforting and flawless roar of the engine. He shut the trunk closed and walked back to her window. "Looks like your luck is turning." he joked flashing her a dashing smile. "So are you following me or should I follow you?"

* * *

><p>Gemma locked the office, turning around to walk to her car when she noticed her son's bike wasn't on the parking lot. More to the point, it was the only bike missing. She frowned and made her way to the clubhouse.<p>

The atmosphere was joyous, the guys rejoicing the booze and women. She didn't know every detail of club business, she was only an old lady after all, but she knew enough to see that things had been quieter around here in the last few weeks. She had also noticed that their personal savings had grown exponentially recently so she guess the dry spell had ended and that they were back to business. She approached the bar where Chibs and Juice were holding court for three crow eaters. "Hey. You boys seen Jax?"

"Nah, he said he had some errands to run." The Scottish drawled as he temporarily took his eyes off the chest of the sweet blond sitting on his lap.

"What kind of errands?"

"He didn't say."

Juice intervened "Want us to tell him you're looking for him?"

"Nah, I'll just speak to him tomorrow. You guys busy enough as it is. " she replied pointedly before taking her leave wondering what kind of errands her son was running on his own at night.

* * *

><p>They were comfortably sat in the booth of an all-night diner and had just made their order.<p>

"So how long you've been in Charming?"

She thought about it "Five weeks, give or take."

"Yeah? What do you think of our good ole town?"

"I'm still undecided." she declared with a tiny smile "You? Are you from Charming?"

"Born and bred. My family owns the Teller-Morrow auto shop on Grand Street."

"So you really are a mechanic." She teased.

"I told you."

They were interrupted by the waitress coming with their order. " There you go Jax."

Jax thanked her as she laid the drinks on the table purposedly ignoring Jesse. He looked over at Jesse who was observing the scene with an amused look on her face. Finally, the waitress walked away.

"I think she likes you."

"Nah, I've known Courtney for ages." He didn't need to tell her he'd slept with her ages ago and the girl had always been open for a rematch. "So what about you? What do you do?"

Jesse took a sip of her coffee before answering. "I'm a doctor. That's why I moved to Charming in the first place. I took a cardio fellowship at St Thomas."

"Wow. Now I'm intimidated. Your parents doctors too?"

A shadow quickly passed over her face. "My parents are dead."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, it was a long time ago. And the answer is no, my dad was a military and my mum took care of us."

"Us?"

"Me and my brother, Jack. He...he died in 9/11."

"Jeez, Jesse, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. We're pretty much running out of dead relatives." She tried to joke. "What about you, any siblings?"

"My brother. Thomas died when I was 11. My old man died when I was 15."

She let out a derisive laugh. "God, we are terrible at this."

He joined in and quickly decided to change the subject not wanting to explain his mother or step-father. "You always knew you wanted to be a doctor?"

"Not really. I spend a lot of time being…lost. Then my brother died when I was in college and you know he risked his life to save someone else's. So I just thought I'd find something to do with my life where I could help others. So I switched to pre-med."

"You like it?"

"Do I like the sleepless nights, the pressure, the demanding patients? Yes, I love it. I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't a doctor."

They fell into silence and weirdly, it wasn't uncomfortable. It was almost natural. Their eyes met and Jesse thought she felt a connection. But before she could give it any more thoughts, they were interrupted by the sound of a cell phone.

"You should take it."

"Nah, it's cool."

"No, you should. I should probably go anyway." She stood up almost abruptly, as if the phone had brought her back to reality. She slid purse already on her shoulder as he stood up too and pressed the ignore button on his phone.

"Can I see you again?"

She sighed. "Thank you for earlier, I really appreciate the help. I just don't think it's a good idea. I'm dealing with a lot at the moment, I know it's sounds like an excuse but I promise it's not."

"Alright." He held out his hand. "Here, give me your hand."

"Why?"

"I'm putting my money where my mouth is, just give me your hand."

She seemed to think about it and finally relented.

"That's my cell number. If you need anything, just give me a call."

She smiled at him a last time. "Thanks Jax."

A few seconds later, she was out of the diner and out of his life again.

* * *

><p>Jax stepped out of the steamy shower and dried himself with a nearby towel. He felt quite out of it this morning. After Jesse had left the diner, he had taken his bike and driven aimlessly until the wee hours of the morning, just enjoying the ride.<p>

He sometimes forgot that the MC life was more than running guns and spilling blood. Sometimes, it was as simple as taking your bike and hitting the road. It had also given him time to think. The club was still in delicate position. He hadn't expected Jesse to open up to a virtual stranger but his time was counted. He knew he couldn't keep following her around everywhere and that someone would catch up soon.

He finished dressing up and walked back into the bedroom only to find his mother sitting on the bed waiting for him.

He sighed. "You know there's this thing called knocking?"

She just shrugged. "I did. You didn't answer."

Jax just shook his head in disbelief. There was just no changing his mother. He couldn't wait to see where this conversation was going.

"Where were you last night?"

And there it was. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I came by, the guys didn't seem to know where you were. I was worried."

"I'm not a kid anymore mum. I don't need you to worry about me."

"Well, sue me."

She really was like a dog with a bone. "I was running an errand." He lied frustratingly.

She just kinked her eyebrow unimpressed. "That usually means there's pussy involved."

"Jesus Christ Mum, really? If you want to know something, why don't you just ask point blank."

"Just tell me you weren't with that junkie whore."

For a moment, Jax's throat dried up. But he quickly recovered as he realised who she was talking about. "Do you have to call her that?"

"I call it like it is."

Jax was just relieved, her suspicions had landed on Wendy. The last thing he needed right now was Gemma snooping around. So if she wanted to believe, he was with her, he wasn't going to tell her otherwise.

"You still haven't kicked that bitch out of the house."

"It's my house and it's none of your business." He stated harshly. "And she's still my wife for another month. So do me a favour and just leave Wendy alone."

From the look on her face, he knew he had hurt her and took a deep breath. He knew his mother was overbearing and had no notion of boundaries but he also knew she was only looking out for him. "Look, what happens with Wendy is between Wendy and me and I don't want you going and stirring shit with her."

"Why are you always protecting her?"

"Because she doesn't have an overbearing mother looking' out for her."

She tried to suppress a smile. He always knew how to cajole her back into understanding. "Asshole."

He touched her cheek lovingly.

"I just want you to be happy Jax."

"I am happy."

"Are you?"

"Yes."

"Okay." She stood up and walked to him. "Don't forget the fundraiser this week end. We're having a yard sale. So I you should check the storage and see if there's anything you want to keep before I sell that junk."

"I will."

"Alright baby." She cupped his face in her hands and kissed his cheek. "I love you."

As soon as his mother left the room, Jax walked to the bedside table and checked the drawer. Jesse's pass was exactly where he'd left it. He couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter... watch for the next chapter coming soon...

Title Song: Lucky you – Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers - The National


	4. Theory of the crows

CHAPTER IV – THEORY OF THE CROWS

Gemma pulled to the curb and watched the house across the road. There were several cars parked in the driveway and loud music was filtering through echoing in the otherwise quiet street.

She stepped out of the car and adjusting her purse over her shoulder, she made her way to the house. She reached the door and knocked, lightly at first. After a few minutes, she was pounding on the door, growing increasingly annoyed. She finally heard a muffled voice inside the house "Alright, alright!"

A few seconds later, a man in his late twenties, high as a kite opened the door. "Can I help you?"

Behind him, Gemma could see half a dozen junkies spread on the couch, lying on the floor, lost to the world. The living room was a pigsty, beer cans loitering the coffee table, litter thrown all over. "No you can't. Where's Wendy?"

The man scratched his head as if he was trying to make sense of her questions. "Who's Wendy?"

Gemma stared daggers at him. "Are you shitting me?"

"Who did you say you were again?"

She opened her mouth ready to snap at him when she saw Wendy making her way to them. "It's okay Dale, I got it."

She turned to her mother in law. "What are you doing here Gemma?"

"A little early for a party don't you think?"

"The party never stopped." Dale giggled behind them.

Gemma raised an eyebrow at him and then returned her attention to Wendy."Outside. Now."

She didn't wait for an answer and walked out. She was glad to breathe fresh air; the stench in the house was a suffocating. Wendy followed her, stopping only to light a cigarette.

"I see you're making yourself comfortable."

"It's my house Gemma."

"It's my son's house. Don't you forget it."

Wendy sucked on her cigarette nervously "Jax said I could stay here as long as I wanted."

Gemma let out a snigger. "Yeah, I'm sure he also told you to turn his house in a drug den."

"I just had a few friends over, Gemma. It's no big deal"

Gemma took a few steps towards Wendy and although she did not rise her voice there was no mistaking the lingering threat in her voice. "Well, it's a good thing you have so many friends because you're going to need it. As soon the divorce is pronounced, I will make sure that your j..kie ass is kicked to the curb and that you are out of my son's life for good. Enjoy your party."

Jax slid open the storage door and made his way in. Gemma had understated the state of the place. It was packed with junk. Jax spent the next few minutes shifting through it. Toys from his childhood, his first bike. He remembered the day his father had gotten him that bike, taught him how to keep his balance, how to not be afraid of falling down. Jax smiled nostalgically at the memory. He found some plastic swords he had used in duels with his brother Thomas. This place was full of junk but it was like taking a trip down memory lane. Something he hadn't allowed himself to do in years. He took out the swords and uncovered a box labelled "John Misc." He delicately ran his hand over the dusted cover before opening it. The box was full of memorabilia, old issues of biker's magazines, photos… Jax took a few out and shifted through them. One of his father with Clay, Piney and the other original nine. One of him with his mother. And as last one of his father, his brother and himself. Jax felt tears coming up and quickly shoved it in his pocket. He reached for the box and noticed a leather binder at the bottom. He took it out and opened it. It was a manuscript. From his father. Jax frowned. He didn't seem to remember seeing his father write. The title was "_the life and death of Sam Crow, how the Sons of Anarchy lost their way."_

Jax sat on the floor and started reading.

"_**Sometimes things start with a good idea. You realize there is a need and you come up with an answer to that need. Other times things just begin. The Sons of Anarchy was the name I came up with in 8th grade for me and my best friends. We were going to change the world."**_

….

"So someone came looking for you at the hospital yesterday." Janine said attempting but failing to be casual.

The nurse had called Jesse earlier that day offering to meet up for coffee at the park. Janine had two kids and Jesse knew she'd probably rather spend the day with them but she had been grateful for the opportunity to get out of the house.

"Really?"

"Uh, uh. Tall, muscular, blue eyes. Very cute."

For some reason, Jesse found her heart beating faster.

"I think his badge said Deputy Chief Hale." Janine concluded.

"Oh." Jesse admonished herself, feeling stupid for sounding disappointed and hoping Janine didn't pick up on it. After all, Jax didn't know where she worked; it would have been difficult for him to track her down and really why would she want him to? After all she had been the one to turn him down. "What did you tell him?"

"I didn't speak to him. The mother hen did. I was just eavesdropping. She told him you were taking a few days off and to try you at home. But please do tell"

Jesse frowned. "There's nothing to tell, he was probably just checking up on me."

"I wasn't talking about him. I was talking about the other tall, muscular, blue eyed cute guy in your life. I saw your face just then. You looked disappointed when I told you it was Deputy Hale."

"No, I wasn't."

"You really can't lie, can you?"

"I promise you, there's really nothing to tell." Jesse's eyes caught something. "What's this?"

Janine looked up to the poster her friend was looking at.

"Ah, the annual Charming fundraiser. Proudly sponsored by the Sons of Anarchy."

"What's the Sons of Anarchy?"

"You mean who? The Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle club. They call themselves motorcycles enthusiasts. People think they're into shady stuff. I don't know about that but I do know this town loves and hates them in equal measures. They're the gossip mill favourite subject but I have to admit they do make fundraising much more fun. And just so we're clear it is the day after tomorrow and you are definitely coming." Janine announced with conviction leaving Jessie no choice but to say yes.

….

Gemma stepped out of her car and spotted Clay bossing the mechanics around as usual. He saw her and smiled before walking to her. He kissed her tenderly. "Hi baby"

"Hi."

"Where have you been all morning?"

"I went to see the junkie bitch." Gemma retorted with animosity. "She's having drug fuelled parties as if there is no tomorrow. And Jax is letting her do it in his house."

She opened the door to the office and Clay followed her inside.

"We both know Jax is only trying to keep the peace until the divorce is final."

Gemma shifted swiftly on her feet to face him. "We don't know that. He took her back before."

"He won't." Clay interjected firmly.

"He's not himself Clay. He's distracted. Evasive."

"Don't you think you're being paranoid?"

"I know my son, Clay. And I'm telling you something is going on with him!"

"What do you want me to do?"

"You have to talk to him. See where his head is at."

Clay let out a big sigh. He knew there would be no point of talking to Jax about his personal life. The two of them had been butting heads for a while over the club direction and although club business was supposed to be separate from their family life, he knew the young man would never confide in him. But Clay had been married to Gemma long enough to know that saying yes was much easier than trying to get his point across with his wife. "Fine. I'll talk to him."

"Thank you baby."

The woman always got exactly what she wanted he thought before stepping back into the autoshop.

…

Jesse opened the trunk and stared at it for a minute. After leaving Janine, she had walked around town for a while. She hadn't wanted to go home and face the silence. Truth was she hadn't had that much free time since before college and being a doctor was pretty much her whole life. She also knew how pathetic that sounded but it had never bothered her. At least until now. As she was strolling around, her eyes had fallen on a DYI shop. When she'd first moved to Charming, the real estate agent had told her the landlords were ready to redo the worn wall in the house. But Jesse had insisted to move in as soon as possible and agreed to redo the paint herself if the landlords agreed to reduce the rent. At first Jesse had planned on hiring professional help but as she explored the DYI shop alleys, she figured she could probably do most of it herself. After all, she had plenty of time and needed an activity.

But now that she stood in her driveway staring at half a dozen cans of paints, she found herself questioning whether she had been too ambitious. After all, she had no idea what she was doing, had never painted a room, let alone a whole house.

"Oh well too late now." She sang to herself.

After all, worst come worst, she could always hire a professional like she had planned. She took out a few cans, deciding to come back for the rest and walked to her door. Jesse reached into her bag to grab her keys when she noticed that the front door was slightly ajar. She instinctively took a few steps back and frantically searched in her purse. She finally found her phone and let her bag fall to the floor before dialling.

…..

"_**When we take action to avenge the ones we love, personal justice collides with social and divine justice. We become judge, jury and god. With that choice comes daunting responsibility. Some men cave under that weight, others abuse the momentum. The true outlaw finds the balance between the passion in his heart and the reason in his mind. The solution is always an equal mix of might and right."**_

Jax briskly closed the manuscript and let out a deep breath. He looked outside. The sun was already coming down. He checked his watch and realised he had just spent more than 5 hours sitting in this dusty storage unit reading a book he knew nothing about from a man he felt he knew even less. He stood up and took a few steps outside lighting a much needed cigarette. How was it possible that he had known his father so little? Why was his book shoved in a box full of junk? What had his father intended to do? Did anyone else read it? His mind was full of questions and he had no way of answering them.

He crushed his cigarette with his foot and headed back inside when his phone started ringing. He looked at the caller ID but couldn't recognize it."Hello?" He listened to the caller and fired "I'll be right there."

He quickly took this father's manuscript and closed the box replacing it exactly where it had been. He gave the place another look before slamming the door down.

…

_**DISCLAIMER: The texts in bold italic are John Teller's quotes and do not belong to me but to Mr Sutter and are used here solely as quotes. ( 1st if from Pilot episode and 2nd is from Episode 1x03 Fun town)**_

**Title Song is Theory of the Crows – The National **

**Hope you enjoyed!**


	5. Arms and Enemies

_**First of all, I want to say I'm very sorry for taking so long to update this story... Truth is I had a baby and the life as I knew it before was over! It's only in the last few weeks that I was able to start writing again. I now have all my chapters mapped out and will be able to update regularly and I hope there are still readers out there interested by this story! In any case, here's the new chapter and hope you like it.**_

CHAPTER V – ARMS AND ENEMIES

Jax hopped off his bike and quickly made his way to the house. She had sounded panicked on the phone and he had come as fast as he could. He reached the door and found it slightly ajar. He pushed it open carefully and took a few steps inside.

He looked around him and was appalled by the state of the house. It looked like it been hit by a hurricane.

"Jesus Christ."

He took a few more steps towards the bedroom and heard whimpers coming from the bathroom. He stopped at the threshold. She was sitting on the cold tiles floor and sobbing.

"Wendy?"

"I'm sorry Jax. I'm so sorry."

He kneeled beside her. "What happened?"

She tried to speak but was crying uncontrollably.

"Wendy, what happened?"

"You can't kick me out Jax. I have nowhere else to go. Please Jax."

"What are you talking about?"

"Gemma said you were only keeping the peace until the divorce was final. I promise I'll stay clean but please don't kick me out."

Gemma. That explained it. He should have known she would not leave it alone and would come here to stir things up with his soon to be ex-wife. "Wendy, listen to me, I'm not kicking you out. You need to stop listening to Gemma okay. This is your house."

"I'm sorry Jax, you have to believe me, I'll try harder."

She wasn't listening. She was still sobbing and made for a pathetic image. He decided to give her the words she longed to hear. "I believe you, Wendy."

He took her in his arms and cradled her until she calmed down.

…..

"All clear."

The cop made his way back from the back of the house joining Jesse and Officer Perkins in the living room. Jesse had called the police straight away hoping to get Deputy Chief Hales but was told he was not at the station so she had asked for Officer Perkins.

The young woman turned to Jesse. "Dr Granger, do you have a spare key?"

"Yes, I keep it under the flower pot by the door. I already checked it hasn't moved."

"And you're sure that you locked the door?"

Jesse quickly flashbacked to earlier this afternoon when she had left the house. She had been talking to Janine on the phone and had closed the door behind her. "Yes, I… I'm sure I locked it."

They had heard the hesitation in her voice. "And you said that nothing is missing?"

"I don't think so. At least, as far as I can tell."

Jesse noticed the look between Perkins and her partner and she knew they didn't believe her.

"I'm not making this up."

Perkins raised her hands. "We didn't say that."

Jesse was about to ask harshly what exactly they were saying when the other officer asked." Were you at work when this happened?"

"No. I'm taking a few days off."

"Any particular reason?"

Jesse was now getting annoyed at the questions she felt had nothing to do with a break-in. "I'm really failing to see what that has got to do with someone breaking into my house."

Once again, Perkins tried to appease her. "I'm sorry, Dr Granger, we're just trying to ascertain the facts."

"Why? Because you don't think I'm able to remember when I actually lock my door?"

"That's not what we're saying. But there is no sign of break in and you said it yourself nothing is missing. If someone broke in, why didn't they take anything?"

_Maybe because what they wanted wasn't there._ Jesse thought to herself but she didn't say anything. Instead she just sighed. Officer Perkins nodded to her partner and he announced he'd be waiting in the car.

She turned to Jesse. "Dr Granger, have you been sleeping lately?"

The question had been asked with the best intentions and Jesse knew that Officer Perkins was only trying to help but she couldn't help but feel that she was being judged. "Not really."

"Look, I'm not saying you're making this up. And I'm not saying someone didn't break into your house. But you've gone through a traumatic thing and sometimes, the mind plays tricks on us. But just in case, you should think about getting a security system installed and find someone to give the spare key to. It'll give you piece of mind."

Jesse nodded.

"We'll file the report and if you find anything's missing, call us."

"Thanks Officer Perkins.

"Goodnight Dr Granger."

As soon as Officer Perkins left, Jesse locked the door in a frenzy and walked to the window. She watched as the cops drove away. She had seen the looks of doubt on their faces, no matter what they said. They just thought she was being paranoid. Maybe they were right, maybe she was imagining things. But she had been so convinced an hour ago… For the first time in a long time, Jesse didn't want to be alone. She couldn't be alone. She thought about calling Janine but her friend was spending time with her husband and kids and Jesse didn't want to impose. Suddenly she remembered something and took her phone out before dialling a number.

Jesse opened the door to the house and was instantly relieved to see the young blond man. Out of options, she had called Jax. He had given her his number at the cafe the other night and told her to call him that if she needed anything. "Hey. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry, I feel stupid for calling like that. I just… I didn't have anyone else to call."

"Hey. I'm glad you did. Come on, let's get you inside."

She moved over to let him through and saw him looking around, taking in the place.

"Sorry about the mess."

He turned around and saw her looking at him. "Looks better than my place."

She let out a small laugh but he could tell her heart wasn't in it. He put his hand on her shoulder reassuringly. "What did the cops say?"

"They think I just forgot to lock the door. They think I'm just being paranoid. I don't know maybe they're right. I haven't exactly been the most rational person lately."

She slumped on the couch and buried her face in her hands defeated. He tried to ignore the pinch of guilt he felt. She was right. She had locked the door on her way out. He knew because he had been watching her when she left this morning. He knew he had to find out more about the doctor. He also knew that most people leave a spare key somewhere near their front door. The plan had been to go through her belongings and see if he could find anything that helped him earn her trust. The flower pot was the second place he'd checked. He had opened the door and let himself into the house. But his search has been surprisingly fruitless. No personal items, no photos, no mail, and aside from a few books scattered by her bed and he clothes, there was nothing that could have given him an insight into Jesse Granger's life which he found odd. The only explanation that came to mind was that her belongings had not yet arrived; after all she had only been in town for a few weeks. He had been about to leave when he thought of something. He had read until the last page of his father's book the night before and something had resonated in him. Something about taking calculated risks. And suddenly an idea had come to him. If he couldn't find out more about her by looking through her house, maybe he needed to get her to open up to him. And the only way he would be able to do that was if she felt the need to be protected. Maybe if he played his card right, he would be the person she turned to. He had had now way of knowing whether his plan would even work. But it was the only one he had. So as he had left the door open. And as he stood there watching her, he knew his instinct had been right but he felt awful about it.

He sat on the coffee table facing her putting a comforting hand on her knee.

"You okay?"

"Not really, no." As she said the words, admitting for the first time that she was not okay, she felt a weight lift off her shoulders.

"You want to tell me about it?"

She looked up and met his eyes, as if she was trying to read his intentions. "You can trust me Jesse."

Somehow, it was all the reassurance, she needed "A couple of weeks ago, my car broke down and my phone died on me, so i went into a bar to get help." As she talked, Jesse found herself back to that night." My instinct was screaming at me to get the hell out of there but I went to use the bathroom and a few minutes later, there was an attack. Some guys burst in and there was a shooting."

"The shooting at the old Albion? You were there?"

She nodded. "I was in the bathroom. The whole time. It only lasted a few minutes, but it was the longest minutes of my life. One of the shooters came in. He didn't see me but I thought I was going to die."

Jax looked down, hating that he had been the one responsible for that. "Jesse, I'm sorry that you had to go through this. But I promise you. No one is going to hurt you."

She could tell he really meant every word and gave him a weak smile before continuing "That night, I... I lost my access card to the hospital. It has my name and my photo on it. The cops think I lost it when I was walking to the bar but I can't help thinking..."

"That maybe they found it? The guys who attacked the bar."

She nodded. "You think it's crazy?"

"No, it's not crazy. But the attack was what? Two weeks ago? Jesse, if they knew who you were, chances are they would have already found you. You're safe."

"You don't know that."

"Jesse, I won't let anything happen to you."

She wouldn't have been able to explain it, but somehow hearing him say those words filled her with relief as if whatever was frightening her before didn't her scare anymore. "The cops said I should install a security system."

"Probably not a bad idea. Just in case. Tell you what I even know someone who can install it for you. With a friend's discount."

She smiled at him. "Mechanic, handyman, anything else you can do for me?"

"Could probably help you pimp this place up" he said nodding at the cans of paint scattered around the living room."

She laughed and he found himself really liking the sound of it. She raised her head and their eyes met and for a moment, there were no more games, nor more deceit, no more pretending, Jax realised that as little as he knew her and as little as she knew him, he really did care about her. He was about to answer when his phone rang. He checked the caller ID, it was Clay. He shot her an apologetic look before standing up and taking the call. "Yeah?"

"Where are you?" the old man asked

Jax looked in Jesse's direction but she had walked to the kitchen giving him some privacy. "In town. What's up?"

"Bring your ass back here, there's something I need to run by you."

"Right now?"

"What do you think?" His step father spat curtly before hanging up.

Jax pocketed his phone and joined Jesse in the kitchen where she was making herself some coffee. "Everything okay?" she asked.

"Duty calls."

"Oh."  
>"But tell you what, why don't I come back later and we can start on this place."<p>

"You are really offering to paint me with me?"

"Actually I was offering to paint _for_ you, but that works too."

She laughed. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"Alright, I'll see you later."

They looked at each other for a long moment before he walked away.


	6. Let there be lonely

**Thanks for all the reviews and to the new followers, it's great to know people are enjoying this story and I hope you guys enjoy this new installment. It is quite long, but it was needed to get the story moving forward so whether you do like (or don't), just let me know what you guys think!**

**_(AN: update chapter with break lines as those had disappeared when I updloaded the chapter!)_**

**CHAPTER VI-Let there be lonely**

Jax walked into the clubhouse and made his way to his step father who was sitting at the head of the table smoking a Cuban. "What's up?" he asked nodding to him.

"Close the door."

Jax did as he was told before walking around the table and sitting at his usual place.

"The delivery with the Irish is confirmed in two days. AK's and RPG's, Chibs is setting it up."

Jax pursed his lips "I don't like it Clay, it's too risky."

"Yeah, I heard you the first hundred times. "His stepfather retorted." We're in a risky business son, get over it."

"I just don't get what's the rush."

Clay straightens up on his chair and pointed a finger to his stepson "The rush is that we need to get back to what we do and that's selling guns. What do you think happens if we don't make good on this delivery? The Irish find another buyer. And we lose the Irish pipeline. "

"And if we get caught, we lose everything else."

Clay took a long draw on his cigar before replying evenly "Then I guess, you need to get your head in the game, do your job, and make sure we don't get caught VP."

Jax knew there was no point arguing further. Once his step father made a decision, it was near impossible for anyone to make him change his mind. Even more so, if that person was Jax. In recent months, they had been butting heads too much and he knew that the old man saw every attempt to voice a different opinion as a personal attack against his leadership. So he stood up and walked to the door when he heard Clay call out to him "By the way. This thing with you and your ex. Is it over?

Jax chuckled. He should have seen this coming "Speak to Gemma lately?"

Clay swiveled on his chair facing him with a grin "She's worried about you. The woman loves you, go figure."

"The woman needs to learn to mind her own business."

Clay chuckled. As if. "Yeah, go tell her that."

"I keep trying."

"Just come for dinner tonight will ya." He asked magnanimously. "The guys will be there, she'll get people to dot over, it makes her happy and she stops being up my ass about you. Think about it."

Jax nodded and left the room. He checked his watch and walked to his room, opening his drawers to pick up the father's manuscript before making his way up to the roof.

Perkins walked into the station and nodded to Sanders the young trainee officer manning the reception

"Hey, is Hale back?"

"Yeah, he's in his office."

"Thanks" she said before walking down the corridor to Hale's office. She knocked on the door and heard his muffled voice telling her to come in.

"Perkins, hi."

"Hi, I thought you'd like to know. Jackson and I responded to a call to Jesse Granger's house today."

Hale was immediately on alert. "Did something happen to her?"

"Well, she says someone broke into her house. But there was no evidence of forced entry and she didn't report anything missing."

Hale felt himself inexplicably relax. Perkins seemed to hesitate before continuing "She looked tired. Exhausted even. I'm thinking she is having a hard time with the whole thing."

"Yes, I went by the hospital yesterday. She was put on leave following a few incidents at the hospital."

"I though as much."

"Thanks for letting me know, Perkins." He said concluding the conversation. She smiled and left him to ponder in his office.

He somehow felt responsible for Jesse Granger. She was new in town, no friends, no family and was having to deal with a very traumatic event on her own. The fact that she was a very attractive woman in town was not lost on him either. He would be lying if he said he had not noticed that. But it wasn't the reason he felt himself caring about her. When they had found her after the shooting she had looked so lost, so…fragile. He had felt a need to protect her. Making a decision, he locked his computer and stood up.

Jesse turned off the faucet and got out of the shower. She dried herself off and for the first time in a long time, she felt light hearted, she hadn't wanted to admit it but she was looking forward to getting to know Jax tonight. From the moment she had met him in the NA meeting, she had been intrigued by him. His icy blue eyes that seemed to smile when he did, the way he carried himself with confidence. She felt herself blushing as she though about his tall & muscular body, the glimpse of the tattoo she had seen when he was working on her car the other night. She laughed derisively at herself for acting like a school girl. She had to admit it; she felt attracted to Jax in a way she hadn't felt towards anyone in a long time. Since she had gotten sober, she had avoided any and all male attention and up until now she had been perfectly content to do so. Sure, she missed the physical part but she hadn't been ready to handle anything more.

But now, she did wonder if maybe she was ready. Maybe it was the attack that had made her realize life was short, or maybe it was just loneliness but for once she wanted to stop asking herself too many questions and just see how things went. So she was looking forward to this evening, maybe she could find out a little bit more about the mysterious blond mechanic.

She checked her watch and saw she still had time before he arrived. She had already put a brisket in the oven before her shower and all she had to do was get ready. As she absentmindedly wiped steam off of the bathroom mirror, she was shocked at the reflection staring back at her. Her eyes were hollow with big dark circles under her eyes, she had lost a bit of weight leaving her face looking gaunt and her usually shiny blond sandy hair was lifeless and dull. She let out a big sigh. All things considered, she had a lot of work to do.

For the next hour, she pampered herself and found that she was enjoying it. She applied a mask to her hair, put on moisturizing cream on her body. She then applied a thin layer of nude make up, just enough to mask the dark circles and plump her sunken cheeks. She put some gloss as a final touch and once she was satisfied, she washed her hair, deciding to let her blond curls dry on their own.

She went to the bedroom and chooses a nice powder pink blouse to go with her dark washed jeans and nude pumps. She gave herself the once over and she was happily surprised to catch a glimpse of the old Jesse in there. The one she was before everything changed forever, the one she was still hoping to find someday. Before she could let herself dragged by dark thoughts, she heard the doorbell and went to open the door.

"_The true outlaw finds the balance between the passion in his heart, and the reason in his mind. The solution is always an equal mix of might and right." _

Jax closed his father journal and lit a cigarette. There was a lot he hadn't known about his father. Reading this book, he wondered if he knew him at all. After all, he had no idea how his father felt about the club towards the end. But somehow, it was like the man who had written those lines was talking directly to him. Not like some sort of ghost shit, but Jax was finding true meaning in the words his father wrote for him. His father had wanted change, a return to the real foundations of the club. Jax wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with it or if he was even supposed to do anything.

He finished his cigarette and let his thoughts drift back to Jesse and the situation he found himself in. He wondered what his dad would have said about this. Would Jax have been able to trust his dad enough to tell him about Jesse? Would he have lied to him like he was lying to his club? He wanted his dad would approve what he was doing. He was trying to protect his club from any threat, but now he also wanted to protect Jesse from the club. He was finding himself between a rock and a hard place and he needed to find the right balance.

"You alright brother?"

Jax turned around startled and came face to face with his best friend Opie. He had been so lost in thoughts that he had not heard him make his way to him in the parking lot. They shared a brotherly hug. "Hey man, just thinking through some shit. You alright?"

"Yeah, just about to go pick up Donna and the kids for dinner at your mums."

"How did you get roped into that?" he chuckled.

"Actually, I like your mom's cooking. Just don't tell my wife I said that."

They laughed and Opie lit a cigarette.

"Hey, is everything okay with you?"

"Yeah, why you ask bro?"

"I don't know man, but ever since the hit on Donowitz, you've been acting all weird and shit. You know it had to be done, right?"

Jax didn't like being questioned. He was the one who brought up the matter to the table. "What kind of fucking question is that? I'm the one who brought it up."

"Man, I'm on your side. But the brothers are starting to talk." Opie continued trying to appease his friend but the idea that his brothers were talking about him behind his back as enough to infuriate him " If anyone has something to say, how about they say it to my face?"

"Look man, you've been disappearing places, butting heads with Clay over the Irish guns, the guys are just wondering what's going on with you? I'm starting to wonder as well."

"Yeah? Well, maybe I just want us to think about what we do with this club for once. How about that? "

Opie knew his friend was hiding something. He was being defensive and on the attack. He was a little disappointed that Jax wouldn't talk to him but he thought it best to stop the conversation there. He raised his hands. "Alright man. When you want to talk, you know where to find me." He said calmly before walking away.

Jax sighed. He knew he shouldn't have gotten angry like that but he hadn't been able to help it. He had known it was only a matter of time before someone starting questioning his behavior especially with Gemma hovering over him like a hawk. He was actually glad it was Opie and not someone else. He knew his friend would always have his back. But he needed to be careful. He had to make sure that Jesse did not know more than she said and that she was kept safe. If he had any doubt before, he now knew he had to show up to diner and make peace with Opie to ensure he could continue protecting the club and Jesse.

Regretfully, he picked up his cell and called Jesse.

"Hi."

"Hey, it's me Jax."

"Hey, are you on your way?"

"Actually, something came up. I'm going to have to take a rain check for tonight. "

"Oh. It's okay. I was tired anyway." She sounded disappointed even though she was trying to hide it.

"We could catch up tomorrow?"

"I can't, I'm meeting up with a friend at this fundraiser thing. Don't worry about it, Jax, It was probably not such a good idea anyway. I'll just see you around, okay."

She hung up before he had time to say anything else.

Jesse pocketed her cell phone and sighted. She had sounded like a jilted lover and felt stupid for it. After all, he didn't owe her anything and he had sounded sorry. She would probably have to apologise to him later. She walked back into the living room where Deputy Chief Hale was still standing waiting for her. She had just let him in when Jax had called and she'd excused herself to take the call.

"Sorry about that."

"No problem, I'm sorry to bother you, I just heard about what happened today and I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Okay might be a leap but I'll be fine, thank you. You shouldn't have come all the way here."

"Well, I do feel kind of responsible. You're new to our town and so far you've had a hard time with it all."

"I think the word lousy is more appropriate."

They shared a laugh and Hale noticed her table was set for two.

"I'm sorry, were you expecting someone?"

"What?" She looked puzzled until she realised he was looking in the direction of the table "Oh no, don't worry about it. My plans got cancelled." An idea suddenly came to her. "But maybe you'd like to join me for dinner?"

It was only when she saw the bewildered look on his face that she realised how forward that must have sounded and she immediately regretted it "I'm sorry, that was completely inappropriate? I'm terrible at social situation as you can see, but there's just plenty of food and my friend cancelled on me and I'd hate to see it all go to waste. Besides, I think I could just use the company."

He smiled at her nervousness, finding it endearing. "Sure."

"Great."

Jax slid into his mother's couch and lit a cigarette. Diner had been a massive success as usual. Everyone had a great time, the food had been delicious and there had been plenty of booze to keep them entertained. Now he watched as Chibs was retelling the story of Juice taking a bullet in his ass courtesy of his ex-girlfriend and he let his thoughts drift off to with Jesse. He had heard how disappointed she was on the phone. He was finally getting her to open up to him and he didn't want to jeopardize that by letting her down like he had tonight. But the truth was that he was disappointed to. He had also been looking forward to spending the evening with the young doctor. But he'd also known how relentless Gemma could be and if he skipped on diner, she would not have let go until she found out exactly where he was and that could put Jesse in danger. Besides, the whole club was there and his absence would have not only fuelled his mother's nosiness but probably also raise more suspicions amongst his brothers. That was why he had made peace with Ope earlier in the evening, apologizing for their altercation blaming it on the pressure from his impending divorce and that was why he was here in his mother's living room pretending to listen to Juice's antics. His thoughts were interrupted when Gemma sat down next to him and offered him a joint.

"Having a good time?"

"I'm having a great time."

"You looked a millions miles away."

"Nah, I'm just enjoying the company."

"You're a lousy liar."

Jax laughed. She was incorrigible. But she could always read straight through him "Should I be worried about you Jackson?"

"If I said no, will you stop?"

"You're an ass, you know that right?"

He chuckled as he passed the joint back to her. "Hey mum, you ever think about Dad? About what he would have wanted? For me, for the club?"

"I know your father would have been very proud of who you've become, Jackson. He loved you more than do you ask?"

"No reason."

"Like I said. You're a lousy liar. Just like he was."

She had said that fondly with a smile. Jax knew how much his mother had loved John Teller. Growing up, he used to watch them together. The admiration in his mother's eyes. The love and lust in his fathers. Of course, after Thomas died, things had changed for everyone but Jax had never forgotten the way his parents looked at each other. He had always hoped to find the same kind of love with someone someday.

The thing was most of the girls he usually hanged around with were croweaters. They were nice girls with big hearts but there wasn't much there. He had fun with them, them with him and although some might have been hoping for more, he had never found anyone that made him want to. Not since Tara Knowles had left town, breaking his heart. She had been his high school sweetheart, his first and only love. They had dated for most of high school but after graduation she had decided that Charming wasn't part of her future and neither was he. She had left without even saying goodbye and he hadn't heard her from her since. It had taken him a long time to get over her. He lost himself in pussy and booze for a while and then a few years later, he had met Wendy. She was a nice distraction from the loneliness he had found himself in. She was hot, fun, uncomplicated. Somehow he had convinced himself that this was enough, that he had feelings for her and if they were not love feelings, they were still enough for a marriage. But he had been sadly wrong. They'd both been miserable. She loved him and blamed him for not loving her back. She started doing drugs again, and he didn't see it until it was too late. He blamed himself for it, tried to help her but no matter how hard he tried, it just didn't work out. So he gave up. About a year ago, he had moved out of the house they shared and he had petitioned for divorce.

Once again, he found himself thinking about Jesse Granger. She wasn't like anyone he had ever met. She was pretty off course even though it was in a more understated way that the croweaters who gravitated around him and the club. She was smart, kind. And there was something else, something Jax had noticed straight away. Even when she was in a room full of people, like at the NA meetings or at the hospital, there was loneliness about her, like she was just gravitating around the world but not really being a part of it. She could be smiling, but her eyes would be telling a whole other story. There was a sadness deeply engrained in them. At first, Jax has thought she was wary because of the attack but then he had noticed that she already had that same look in the photograph on her access card. Something had happened to Dr Granger before she even moved to Charming. Maybe it was even the reason she had moved to Charming, probably the reason she was now going to NA meetings twice a week. And Jax felt compelled to find out more. He wouldn't have been able to articulate why but he knew he wanted to know her, really know her and if he was honest, it wasn't only because she was a threat to the club. Not anymore. In the weeks he had been following her, he had started to feel like she was a part of his life and he realised he wanted to be part of hers.

He stood up, laying a kiss on his mother's forehead.

"I'm beat, I'm going to go and crash."

"Be careful."

"I always am."

"I love you baby."

"You too mum. See you later, losers." He shouted at his brothers before walking out the door.

David watched as Jesse cleaned the last plates and went to make coffee " Are you sure I can't help?"

"I'm okay thanks."

They had had a nice diner. The conversation had never dried out even though he had noticed that if the questions became too personal, the answers would suddenly become vague and she would swiftly change the subject but he had a good time. He realised though that he did not know much more about Jesse than before their conversation aside from the generics. He also noticed that even though she had offered him wine which he had declined, she had not had any herself. He had tried to ignore how gorgeous she looked but in all honesty when she had opened the door, she had taken his breath away.

She finally came back to the room with two cups and sat back down. They sipped it in silence for a moment and then she shifted her cloudy eyes to him.

"Can I ask something? The men who were killed in the bar? I heard things about them. That they beat and raped a young girl. Is it true?"

"They were suspects in a rape investigation yes." He replied with honesty.

"Did they do it?"

"Probably. But despite what some clouded minds in this town might want to think, what happened to Frank Donowitz and Bobby Oaks was not justice. It was murder."

"No gray area?"

"Not with the law no. I took an oath. As have you. We don't get to choose the people we protect. You wouldn't let a man die at without trying to save him no matter what he did. It's the same for me."

She admired his uncompromising view of justice. His sense of right and wrong. Once upon a time, she would have probably shared the same views. But when she was faced with that choice, she had made a decision that still haunted her to this day. She chased the thought of a time long gone.

"Will you ever catch those men?"

He wanted to tell her the truth; that he knew exactly who the culprits were and only the lack of solid evidence was preventing him from making sure they paid for what they did. But he knew he couldn't without compromising his investigation and himself.

"I hope so."

She smiled at him. "Thanks for keeping me company tonight, deputy."

"Call me David."

"Well thanks David."

He finished his coffee and stood up to leave. "I should probably go." She walked him to the door.

He looked at her for a moment and thought about kissing her. But his mind went back to earlier that night. She had been all dressed up waiting for someone else and he had been under the impression she was single and didn't know anyone in Charming, he had obviously been wrong. This was probably better, after all, Jesse Granger was his prime witness in a double murder investigation, and he didn't need complications like this. So in the end he just thanked her and left.

Jesse watched him leave, relieved. She had been worried about any awkwardness as he left but the policeman had been the perfect gentleman. She had asked him to stay on the spur of the moment but hadn't wanted him to think she was coming onto him. She was glad she did though as she had a nice time talking to another human being instead of spending yet another evening alone with her thoughts. She yawned realizing she was exhausted after this day and after making sure the door was bolted she went to bed.

Jax watched as the lights went down and wondered for the hundredth time what the hell was going on. After leaving his mother's house, he had decided to come and see Jesse, apologize in person. He had been immediately recognized Hale's car parked in the driveway and he had had to fight the urge to burst into the house to see what was going on, but he had known that would be a terrible idea.

So he had set out to wait and after about an hour, he saw Hale leaving the house. The awkward goodbye they had shared was not lost on him and Jax felt his anger rise at the idea of Hale getting any close to Jesse. He wasn't sure what to think about what he just saw but he knew he didn't like it one bit.


	7. You could make a killing

_**Thanks again for the reviews, apologies for some awful typos and disappearing breaks in the previous chapter I only realised the issue after the upload and couldn't correct it straight away. Anyways, done now, and hope you enjoy this new chapter, as usual, let me know what you think!**_

_**Chapter VII – You could make a killing.**_

_The door creaked and he stood at the threshold of the room, watching her. She was peacefully asleep in her bed, her hair spread across the pillow. She looked so beautiful, with the classic looks she had inherited from her mother. He took a few steps towards her and moved a strand of hair from her eyes, resting his hand on her cheek. Without opening her eyes, she moved letting out an appreciative moan as a smile appeared on her face and he realised she was still dreaming. He wondered who she was dreaming about. Was it him? Did he live in her dreams, making her yearn for him, waiting for him to touch her, love her?_

_He knew what he had to do. He had always known. He had hoped it would not get to that but now he had no other choice. He let his hand slide towards her exposed neck and laid his fingers around it. He started applying soft pressure first before strengthening his grip as she woke up, struggling to breath. As she grabbed his wrists, trying to escape his hands, he looked into her misty gray eyes and mouth "Hush baby, it'll be over soon."_

Jesse jolted awake and sat upright sweating rubbing her neck. She stood up quickly, chest pounding and went to the front door to check the door still bolted shut. Once she was happy that it was, she let out a sigh. It had been such a long time since she had had the dream. It used to haunt her nights, relentlessly. She had thought she had finally put those demons to bed but the conversation with Hale had just brought back those memories despite her best efforts to keep them at bay. She wondered if she would ever be able to be at peace, to leave the past where it belonged. But she knew there would be no more rest for her tonight.

* * *

><p>"So you want to tell me why we had to do this at the crack of dawn?" Half-Sack asked sleepily.<p>

"Because I said so. Now shut up and wait here knucklehead." Jax replied before he made his way to Jesse's door.

When he had finally gone home last night, an idea had come to his mind to help him spend more time with Jesse and make sure she was staying safe but for that he was going to need help. So he had gone to the clubhouse and woken the club's prospect.

"_Dumbass, wake up."_

"_Oh man, what time is it?"_

_Jax hit the back of his head "Time for you to stop asking stupid questions and listen." _

"_What's up, Jax?"Half Sack winced and opened his eyes, suddenly fully awake _

"_I need you to do me a favor. And I need you to keep it quiet. And that means no one finds out. "_

"_Yeah sure."_

"_I mean it. "_

"_Yeah okay, but I promised Gemma I'd help her out with the fundraiser. She'll kill me if I don't show up."_

"_You let me worry about Gemma."_

_He had given him Jesse's address and told him to meet him there in the morning._

Jax got to the door and knocked. After a few minutes, Jesse opened the door. Even at this hour, she looked stunning.

"Jax?"

"You look tired."

"Yeah, it's six o'clock in the morning and I didn't sleep very well last night but thanks for the compliment."

"You look beautiful though."

She tried to suppress a smile but failed. "What are you doing here Jax?"

"Look, I'm real sorry about last night. My mother planned this big diner thing and I couldn't get out of it."

She could help but giggle "You cancelled on me to have diner with your mother?"

"She's a very scary woman."

"And you came all the way here at this hour to apologize?."

"Nah, the apology was just an excuse. I actually need you to come with me."

"What? And go where?"

"It's a surprise." He grinned ear to ear like a kid up to mischief and it was hard for her to refuse him "Jax, I can't, I have a lot of things to do and I told you I'm meeting a friend at this fundraiser."

"Look, I promise I'll have you back in time to meet your friend. I just need a few hours."

She seemed to think about it until she noticed the prospect standing by his bike obviously waiting for Jax.

"And who is that?"

"_That _is the knucklehead. Hey knucklehead, come over here." The prospect jogged to them and Jax wrapped his arm around his neck. "Jesse, let me introduce you to Half Sack, he is here to paint your living room."

"What?"

"I am?"

"Yes, dumbass you are."

Jesse watched their exchange with amusement before intervening."Jax, I don't know, I mean …"

"Look, I told you I'd help you out. This is me helping."

"For some reason, I didn't think you helping meant you'd get someone I don't even know and whose name seems to be Half Sack to do it." She turned to Half Sack "No offense."

"Look, I vouch for him, okay. Half Sack here loves to help and he is going to do a great job, aren't you Sack?"

"I guess, I mean Yes, Mam'."

"Please, don't call me Mam'."

"Yeah, okay…mm…Jax's lady friend."

The whole scene was quite comical and Jesse found herself laughing at the absurdity of it all.

"Come on, what do you say, you give me this morning to show you I'm sorry?" he said flashing a dazzling smile. She bit on her lip and felt the last of her resolve crumble. "I'll go get dressed."

* * *

><p>Gemma introduced the needle in his knuckle injecting him with the clear liquid. He groaned in pain. She took it out and kissed his hands. "There you go babe."<p>

She stood up and walked to the kitchen. "You want some coffee?"

"Yes, please."

She poured them both a cup and walked back to the table where he was sitting. "Is it better?"

He smiled "Yes, thanks baby." He sipped from his coffee. "How did Jax seem to you last night?"

"Distracted. He was asking questions. About his father. What he would have wanted for the club."

"Any particular reason?"

"Not really. How has he been lately? Did you notice any changes with him in the club?"

Clay thought about his step son recent need to second guess him at every turn but quickly dismissed it. He didn't want to get into this now "The kid is doing fine. Nothing for you to worry about. He's probably just going through some shit."

Gemma was about to answer when a knock on the door interrupted them. She shot a questioning look to Clay before making her way to the door.

"Wayne?"

"Morning Gemma, sorry to bother you in the morning, I was just looking for Clay."

"Sure" she said moving to let him through." Can I get you anything?"

"No thanks Gemma."

She walked with him to Clay and kissed her husband cheek. "I have to get going, I'll see you at the fundraiser, baby. Wayne."

"Goodbye Gemma."

They waited until she was gone and Clay questioned the old man. "What's going on Chief?"

"I thought you'd like to know we're officially closing the investigation on Frank Donowitz and Bobby John Oats's murder. There isn't any suspect, no material evidence, no witnesses and I don't have the resource to keep the investigation going. Not when I have law abiding citizens to protect. So as long as no new evidence arises, the case is closed."

"Seems like a smart move to me."

"I'm not finished. Just so we're clear, I don't condone vigilante action. That kind of shit has no place in Charming. But I'm sure it won't ever happen again inside my town."

"I'm sure it won't."

"Good. I'm glad we understand each other. I should probably get back to the station so I will see you later Clay."

Clay watched the old man go, a smile of satisfaction on his face. He had heard his VP's concerns and had been worried that others might be questioning his decision. But now that the murder investigation was officially closed, there really was nothing preventing the deal with the Irish to go through.

* * *

><p>"I feel kind of bad for letting Half… your friend paint my house while we're… what exactly are we doing?"<p>

They had driven for about an hour outside of town before he had parked his bike in front of a small isolated cabin. She had thought they had reached their destination but he had informed her that they still had to walk. They had been wandering in the woods for more than ten minutes now and it didn't look like they were getting close.

"You'll see. We're nearly there." He replied picking up the pace.

"Okay, but I hope you didn't bring me all the way here to have your way with me."

"Are you saying that wouldn't work?"

She shot him a pointed look and he laughed. "Guess not."

They walked in silence for a moment until she noticed him looking at her as if he was trying to decide whether or not to say something. "What?"

"I have a confession to make, not sure how you're going to take it."

"That sounds ominous."

"Last night, I came by your house, you know, to apologise in person. I saw Hale leaving. I guess I didn't realise you two were acquainted."

He was surprised to hear her chuckle. "Sometimes I forget that everyone knows each other in this town. He was there the night of the attack. And then yesterday he came to check on me, you know make sure I was okay after the break in. I take it you two aren't exactly friends?"

"Picked up on that uh? I guess I just didn't know Captain America made house calls that's all."

"Well, I did invite him to stay and share the diner you so politely declined."

"I'm that easily replacable, uh?"

"Well, you did stand me up. But you know if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were jealous."

"Maybe I am."

His eyes locked into hers, his face merely inches away. He could feel her soft breath on his lips. He cupped her face in his hands and traced her lips with his thumb before bending his head and pressing his lips against hers softly. She shifted against him as his tongue slipped into her mouth deepening their kiss.

After a moment, he pulled back reluctantly and raised his eyes to hers with a smile." Come on, we're nearly there" he said, sliding his hand to hers. She smiled warmly and they resumed their walk. After a few minutes, they reached a clearing and Jesse spotted several tree trunks set several feet apart facing them. A stock of empty glass bottles was piled on the side. The place looked like a makeshift shooting range.

"What is this?"

"My old man used to bring me here when I got into trouble you know, to work on my issues. Taught me how to shoot a gun here." He said with a sad voice.

"It never goes away, does it? Missing them."

"I guess not." He seemed to think about something. "I… I found out some things about him recently, things I never knew. I guess I just wish, I had known him better, you know."

"Sometimes people will only let you see what they want; sometimes they only show you what they can. Anyway, are you going to tell me what we're doing here?"

She had said it casually but Jax felt as if her comment was about her as much as it was about his father, however he didn't push. Instead, he opened the backpack he had brought with him and took out a glock handgun. "Ever shot one of those?"

"You brought me here to shoot guns?"

"Well I figured the only way for you to feel safe is know how to protect yourself. So I thought I'd give you a few pointers "

"Do you always take girls shooting on a first date?"

"I thought our first date was at an NA meeting?"

"How romantic."

"Let's just give it a try, okay?"

She complied and walked to him. He checked that the barrel & chamber were clear before handing it to her. She took the gun and stood in front of him, as he positioned her legs in a shooting stance like a puppeteer. She let him take position behind her, their hips almost touching. "Now raise the gun towards the target."

She did as asked as he wrapped his hands around her wrists and whispered into her ear. "You want to really grip the gun tight and aim at the center of the target. Once you got it, you release your finger and press the trigger but don't lose your grip, it would worsen the recoil. You ready?"

Jesse closed her left eye and concentrated on the closest bottle, she nodded and he took a step back before she started shooting. The first bottle exploded in a million piece and Jesse moved on to the next. She quickly shot all five bottles hitting her target with a single shot each time. When she was done, she straightened up and engaged the safety before handing back the gun to an impressed Jax with a cocky smile. "You should see your face right now."

"I thought you didn't know how to use a gun."

"_I_ never said that. I'm an army brat, Jax. My dad was taking me to the shooting range before I hit puberty."

He chuckled. "You know there's a firearms store in town. We could have you a nice one by lunchtime."

The memory of a gun being fired flashed in front of her eyes for a moment and was gone as suddenly as it had come. "Thanks Jax, I appreciate it, really. But I don't own a gun because I don't want to. I just don't like them. I think violence only brings on more violence."

"Sometimes you don't have a choice."

"You always have a choice Jax. Might not be an easy one, but it's always there." She let the words hang between them before adding with a flirty smile. "Besides, why would I need a gun now that I have you and Deputy Hale to protect me?"

He grinned and after a small hesitation she took a step towards him and pressed her lips to his. "Thanks for the private lesson, though."

He put his arms around her letting his hands fall on the small of her back. "Anytime, darlin''".

He kissed her and Jesse found herself wishing he never had to stop.


	8. Breaking the law

_**Thanks again for the reviews and follows , I'm glad people are liking this story and hope you continue to. I'll also be posting a new chapter of my other story "Life forbids, love forgives" today so if you haven't checked it out yet, now is the time!**_

_**As always, would love to know what you guys think so drop me a line!**_

**CHAPTER 8 – BREAKING THE LAW**

Jax pulled over in front of the house and Jesse stepped down from the bike before handing him back his helmet. "Thanks for the ride, Jax. And the shooting lesson."

He grinned and she felt herself melt. He had the most contagious smile she had sever seen. Her mind jumped back to their kiss earlier. It had electrified her, made her tingle in places she had forgotten existed.

"I had kind of forgotten how to have fun lately. Thanks for reminding me."

"Anytime, darlin'."

"I was thinking maybe you'd like to come over for dinner tonight? "

"What no Hale tonight?"

"Not unless you're planning on standing me up again."

"No chance." He stated with conviction, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him in a swift move before landing a quick kiss on her lips. She cracked him a smile and pointed at the house "I should probably go in and do some quality control."

"Let me know how the kid did. I'll see you later."

She waved him goodbye and trotted to her door, almost giddy. She felt silly with excitement at the prospect of seeing him tonight. When he had kissed her, for the second time that day, her mind had gone completely blank and her legs had almost given way. For a moment, time had stood completely still. As he had pulled away and gazed into her with his mesmerizing blue eye, she had wanted to get lost in them. The way he made her yearn for things she shouldn't want, things she hadn't wanted in years scared her. But it also filled her with a joy she couldn't explain but wanted to enjoy.

She had barely let herself in taking in the great job Half sack had done with the room that her phone was ringing. She looked up at the caller ID and saw Margaret Murphy's name appear on the screen. She took a deep breath and took the call.

Gemma was furious. The prospect was late and she still had loads to do before people started arriving. She couldn't wait to get her hands on him and give him a piece of her mind. She let out a frustrated sigh as she saw Luann Delaney trot to her in her stilettos.

"The magician is asking for his check now."

"Tell him he'll get his check after the show, like everyone else."

"He's not going to be happy."

She really wasn't getting any help. "Well, tough shit, give him a free DVD or something. I've got more pressing things to worry about."

Luann looked around. " Where's the prospect? I thought he was helping us?"

"That's what I'd like to know. " Gemma took out her phone to dial the prospects number again when she saw him jogging towards her. He got to her and bent over panting."

"You're an hour late. Where the hell have you been?" she started at him before noticing the white streaks in his hair. "And what the hell is that in your hair."

He straighten up, his breath still shallow. "It's paint, Mam'."

"Why the hell do you have paint in your hair?"

He seemed to hesitate. "I… I was doing a favor…for Jax."

"What kind of favor?"

"I'm not supposed to…" his voiced trailed off as she kinked her eyebrow and gave him a look that told him she was not going to stop until she got the truth out of him. On the one hand, Jax had told him he should not tell anyone but on the other hand everyone knew he was a lady's man so there was probably no harm in Kip saying the truth. Plus he had to admit he was scared shitless of the President's wife. "Just painting some chick's house."

"What chick?"

"I don't know, I've never seen her before. I think she's a doctor or something."

Everything suddenly fell into place. Her sons' disappearance, his attitude… Gemma had been spot on. It had all been about a woman, just not Wendy. But that didn't make Gemma feel any better. Her son should know better than go chasing after outsiders. The last time that happened he got nothing out of it but a broken heart. They were plenty of friends of the club around that had potential to be good old ladies, why did her son always have to look for complications. She looked back at the prospect.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go get cleaned up and get to work!"

She was going to need a serious conversation with her son and soon.

* * *

><p>Hale stormed into Unser's office without knocking. "Did you close the Albion murder investigation without consulting me?" he spat pointing an accusatory finger at the old police chief.<p>

Unser let out a tired sigh and sat back in his chair. He was getting annoyed with the constant attitude from his deputy. "Did you ever hear of knocking?"

"This is my case."

"Not anymore, it's not. I gave the case to the San Joaquin sheriffs."

_You mean Tramell_, Hale thought. "Yeah, more cops on SAMCRO's pay roll."

"I'd watch it if I were you Deputy."

"Those murders happened in Charming. It is our case"

Unser finally had enough, he threw his pen and stood up to face Hale."And we don't have a single lead! I don't have the resource to keep men on this indefinitely. San Joaquin will do just fine."

"You know, it'll just sit on a desk until the case is cold."

"It already is cold, son."

"We've both know you're burying this to please Clay?"

"I don't like your tone or what's its implying. Like you said, it was your case. If you want to blame someone, I suggest you take a long hard look in the mirror son."

Hale turned to leave fuming.

"I'll need that file send to the San Joaquin office."

The young officer didn't even look back before exiting the room and stomped back into his office. They knew by transferring the case over to the San Joaquin sheriffs department, Unser was just ensuring that it would never be resolved. The department had enough work with their own investigations. Once again, SAMCRO would get out of this scot-free. But it wasn't what bothered Hale the most. So far, he had been able to protect Jesse Granger and keep her name from the investigation. But now he didn't have a choice, he had to put back the statement in the report. He considered the alternative for a moment, but he had too much integrity, he just couldn't. There was only one solution he could see to his dilemma but it involved taking a huge leap of faith and he wondered if he was ready to do that. He opened his drawers and took out Jesse statement and the final report from the manila envelope he had hidden it in and replaced it in the murder file before making his way back to Unser's office.

He placed the file on the old man's desk. Unser looked up. "Thank you. That'll be all."

Hale took a deep breath. "There was a witness. That night at the Albion. A woman. She was in the bathroom and she didn't see anything. She doesn't _know_ _anything _about SAMCRO's involvement. If the file goes over to the sheriffs department with her statement, she'll be in danger and I think we both know that.

"You tampered with a case file?"

"I chose not to share some details with you and I'll take my responsibilities for it. Jesse Granger is an innocent in all this. I hope you decide to do the right thing."

And without another word, Hale walked out of the office, leaving Unser to ponder his choices.

* * *

><p>Jax knew he was late and Clay would him crap about that. The delivery with the Irish was important to them and it had to go smoothly. They had agreed to meet in a junkyard that belonged to a friend of the club near Modesto away from the prying eyes of the Oakland Feds. He parked his bike and marched towards his brothers.<p>

His stepfather smirked. "Thanks for joining us. "

"Sorry, I got delayed."

"No shit."

"Where's the Irish?"

"On his way" he heard Chibs confirm in his Scottish accent.

As if on cue, they heard the familiar roar of a motor coming into the lot and few minutes later Michael McEavy stepped off the truck's cabin. Clay advanced towards him with open arms and they exchanged a manly hug. "Michael. How are you brother?"

"I'm okay, Clay. Thanks. How are things with you?"

"We're living the dream brother."

Jax shook the man's hand before asking in a somber tone. "How is the kid doing?"

His eyes clouded with sadness. "She's doing better, Jax. Sent her back to Belfast to be with her grand-ma. I shouldn't have brought her here."

Molly McEavy was the seventeen year old girl that Frank Donowitz and Bobby John Oats had taken for a ride for four days before leaving her for dead on the side of a road. She had been in Lodi meeting her boyfriend while her father thought she was at a friend's house in Oakland. The boyfriend was late and Frank Donowitz had sneaked up behind her and after overpowering her, they had thrown her in the back of their truck and driven away. Within the next four days, they had repeatedly raped and beaten her. She had almost died and would probably wear the scars of those four days for the rest of his life.

"You know, we took take care of those assholes for you right?"

"I know brother. And I want to show my gratitude. 50% off this delivery."

Clay was stunned. That was a very generous gesture from the Irish.

"I won't forget what you did for my Molly, Clay."

"She's family. We did what you would have done if the roles were reversed." Clay turned to his boys. "Load them up!"

It only took a few minutes for the Sons to load the guns onto their bikes.

The President nodded to McEavy and they stepped away from the group "When can you do the next delivery?"

"I don't know brother. Things are getting complicated in Oakland. Our contact in the customs' office is getting some heat from the Feds. We might have to find a new entry point."

"Jesus Christ."

"Not to worry brother. We're already in talks with Redwood and Richmond. I will let you know when I know more."

"Alright Michael." The men hugged and McEavy nodded to Jax before heading back to his truck and leaving.

" What was that about?" the vice-president asked.

Clay didn't really feel like sharing this particular piece of information. He knew his step son would automatically start listing all the potential problems with taking deliveries out in Redwood or Richmond. "Nothing you need to worry yourself about."

Jax was about to answer when his phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was his future ex-wife. He sighted and took the call.

"Hey."

"Hi Jax." She sounded nervous.

"Everything okay?

"Yeah, I was just wondering if you could come by today."

"I don't know Wendy. I've got a lot of shit on today."

"Oh, it's okay, don't worry about it." He could hear the disappointment in her voice and felt guilty.

"I might be able to drop by later."

"Would you? That would be great."

"I'll talk to you later."

He hanged up and noticed Clay was watching him.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Nothing you need to worry yourself about." Jax replied before getting on his bicycle. "You should get to that fundraiser before you wife rips you a new one."

"Clay chuckled. "You're probably right. Let's go boys!"

* * *

><p>Unser looked at the piece of paper in his hand. Jesse Granger's statement regarding the shooting at the old Albion. Like Hale said, she didn't know anything. She had been holed up into the bathroom the whole time.<p>

Wayne knew that if he told Clay, if he told the club about her, someone could get really hurt and that someone would most likely be the young doctor. And if he didn't, well... Clay would probably never find out.

So in the end, he had chosen to follow his conscience and doctored the case file to erase any trace of Jesse Granger's presence at the bar that night. The last proof was the piece of paper he was holding. Unser opened his drawer and took out a lighter. he lit the paper and let it fall in his bin.

No one would ever know about the young doctor, he thought smiling, content with his decision.


	9. Breathe me

**Can't believe we only have one more day before Season 6! I can't wait!**

**So no reviews for the previous chapter, uh ? Come on people, you know I love those! Hopefully you'll be more inspired with this chapter! Thanks for the follows and favorites though I very much appreciate those as well!**

**So I hope you enjoy… do let me know if you do ( or don't) !**

**Chapter 9 – Breathe me**

"So that's it? That's all she said?"

Jesse nodded. "Well, I kind of stopped listening after she said I could come back to work if I wanted."

After she had picked up the call from Margaret, she had been pleasantly surprised to hear the administrator was calling to advise her that the board had reviewed her case and had reinstated her. She would still need to be cleared for surgery by the in house therapist but in the mean time she would work the ER and post ops. Her first rotation was the very next day. She had thanked the administrator and after hanging up she had nearly done a victory dance. She was overjoyed to be getting back to work. After the last few weeks, it seemed like her life was finally looking up. She was practically skipping when she had met up with Janine and her two kids, Maddy and Joey. They had arrived at the fundraiser a few minutes earlier and the children had ran out to the playground in no time. The two friends had sat on a bench to have coffee and watch them.

"Maddy, don't get too far baby and careful with your brother!" Janine called out before returning her attention back to Jesse "Well, I'm glad. The place is just not the same without you. In other news, did you see Charming's finest again?

She had been going on about what a great couple Jesse and Hale would make and how good looking potential babies would be ever since he had stopped by the hospital to check on her. _If only she knew_. "What's with the face?"

"What face?"

"Oh please. Don't give me the innocent ingénue act. Jesse Granger, what are you hiding?"

Jesse couldn't help but laugh. Despite having known each other for only a short time, Janine hat gotten darn good at reading her like an open book. She thought about denying anything was going on but then she realised that she actually _wanted_ to share the news her.

"I've been seeing someone. It's very early days; I don't even know why I'm telling you."

Janine was beaming with excitement. "Because I'm an exhausted married mother of two living life vicariously through you and E.L. James? Please do tell; I want details."

Jesse couldn't help but giggle. "His name is Jax. Teller." She said cautiously watching for her friend's reaction.

It didn't disappoint. Janine nearly chocked on her coffee. "Jax Teller from Teller Morrow Jax Teller?"

"I take it you know who I'm talking about."

"This is Charming, Hon. Everyone knows Jax Teller." Her eyes clouded with worry. "Jesse, what exactly do you do know about him? I mean, don't get me wrong, he is an Adonis and I would use love to use his body as a jungle gym in another life, but he's not exactly your average Joe. You do know he is a member of SAMCRO right?

"SAMCRO?"

Janine pointed to the huge banner hanging a few yards from them. "The Sons of Anarchy, proud sponsor of your Sunday event?"

"I figured he was involved in something like that, yeah." It would have been heard not to. Even if she had never seen him wearing the kutte she had seen on other members in town, his customized bike, and his tattoos had been a giveaway.

"You figured? You mean, you guys didn't talk about it?"

Jesse gave her the most honest response she could muster. As silly as it sounded, she just hadn't felt like this was something she needed to discuss with him. She knew about brotherhoods. After all, her dad had been part of the biggest of them all. The Army. A few of her father's veteran friends had joined motorcycle clubs across the country after their army days. So she understood that aspect of his life, at least she thought she knew. So it had seemed almost irrelevant to discuss. She was getting to know the man and that was what was important to her. "Believe it or not it didn't really come up. Like I said, it's very recent. I probably shouldn't have said anything."

Janine placed a reassuring hand on her friend's shoulder. "I'm glad you told me and I'm very happy that you're finally letting loose and having fun. You definitely need that. I just… Just... be careful, okay? Those guys, they're not exactly known for their chivalrous attitude to women. I don't want you getting hurt."

Jesse gave her friend a warm smile. "Thanks, I appreciate you looking out for me."

"You know, I wouldn't have pegged you for the kind to fall for bad boys." Janine concluded mischievously.

_If only she knew._

* * *

><p>Jax let himself into the house and couldn't help a surprised gasp. A few days before, the house had looked like a dumpster and now it was absolutely spotless. Someone had worked their ass off to clean it up and if Jax didn't know any better he would have said it was his mother's work, but he knew she hadn't been at the house since her latest altercation with Wendy.<p>

"Wendy?"

She walked out of the bedroom and Jax had to admit, she looked dazzling. She was wearing tight leather pants that hugged every curve of her body, a simple white low cut tee shirt. She had let her long honey blond hair loose and applied discreet but flattering make up. "Hey Jax."

"Wow."

She let out a pleased laugh. "Thanks. I guess."

She walked past him and he caught a whiff of her perfume. Was that vanilla? He followed her in the kitchen as she took out a fresh beer out of the fridge. "Beer?" she offered with a smile.

He accepted the drink and took a long sip. "So you said you wanted to talk?"

She sat at the table and lit a cigarette. He noticed her hands were shaking which usually meant she hadn't had her hit. "Would you sit with me, Jax?"

He hesitated before sitting at the table, facing her.

"I've been thinking, Jax. About the divorce, about us … I think we're making a mistake. Maybe we should think this through."

Jax let out a weary sigh, he should have seen it coming. The house, the sudden makeover. "Wendy…"

She held up her hand to stop him. "Please, hear me out." She pleaded. "We had good times you and I, and you know I love you. Maybe if we just tried again…"

"We already did Wendy."

"I can get clean Jax. I know I can. If you're with me, I just know I can."

Jax had heard it all before, dozens of time she had promised she could get clean. But that wasn't even the whole issue. He had married Wendy for the wrong reasons, and he couldn't stay married to her for that very reason. "I'm sorry Wendy; it's just not a good idea. You and I, we don't work. And it's not only about the drugs, it's just…"

Wendy eye's suddenly narrowed on him. "Is there someone else?"

He should have said no. He should have spared her but he could see in her eyes that she already knew the answer. "Yes. There is."

Her eyes watered but she willed her tears away. "oh, okay. I just…" She crushed her cigarette and stood up to clean away the ashtray.

He got on his feet and walked to her. "I'm sorry Wendy."

She turned back to him forcing a smile "It's okay Jax. You don't choose who you love right?"

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked, his eyes full of worry.

She dismissed his concerns with a wave. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm not going to fall apart, Jax. Promise." She had tried to sound detached but failed.

"I should get going."

She watched him walk to the door eyes full of regrets about the man she had once claimed at hers. "She's lucky you know. Whoever she is."

He nodded gratefully and departed the house.

* * *

><p>Gemma surveyed the park a satisfied look on her face and the feeling of a job well done. Despite the stressful morning and the rush to get everything ready, the event had been a complete success. The turn out had been huge, the yard sale had worked really well as for the baking one it had been a massive success notably thanks to Bobby Elvis blueberry muffins which were according to one lady from City Hall "to die for". And more importantly, they already raised twice as much money as the year before and the event wasn't over yet. The school would have to lose its music program and Charming wouldn't see families that had been here for years leave town to offer their kids a school with better funding. Strong hands sliding along her waist took her out of her reverie to rest on her tummy and she grinned as she felt a soft kiss at the base of her neck.<p>

"Careful, my husband is going to be here soon."

"Is he as good looking as me?"

"He's average" she teased turning around to face Clay. "And constantly late."

"I know. I'm sorry baby. I'll make it up to you tonight."

"You better." was all she said before he took possession of her lips. As she pulled away, she rested her forehead on his. "Everything go okay today?"

"Yeah. No problem."

"Good." She saw the sons running towards the food table and shook her head in disbelief. They really needed some manners. She noticed that her son wasn't with them. "Where's Jax? He didn't come with you?"

"Nah, he had things to do. Said he might drop by later." He recognized the look of worry on her face. "He says he's done with her and I believe him Gem."

_You are so clueless Babe_, Gemma wanted to say but didn't. She knew her son and she knew he was hiding something from her. And considering he was having the prospect repainting houses at the crack of dawn, she had a pretty good idea what that was . As a mother she knew she couldn't be privy to everything that went on in her son's adult life but when he started lying to his club, that's when she was truly worried. But she chose not to voice her concerns to her husband. Not yet. "Yeah, I know. I just… I can't help it. I just worry about him."

"I know baby. But I have his back."

Gemma remembered a time when Clay had John Teller's back too. And now John was dead. And she sure as hell wasn't letting anything happen to her son.

* * *

><p>"You know another girl would be offended."<p>

Jax looked up startled. He had been completely lost in thoughts and wasn't sure what Jesse had just asked him.

"Is the food that bad? Or is it the company?" she enquired in a playful tone.

"Neither. I'm sorry, I was just thinking about how beautiful you look."

She cackled and raised an eyebrow. "Nice try."

Her smile broadened as they gazed at each other and Jax remarked for the tenth time that night how beautiful she was. She had pulled up her hair in a messy bun, and worn nice dangling hearings that moved around with her. She had chosen an emerald green blouse which brought out her eyes over tight jeans. Simple, authentic, and ravishing.

"I'm sorry. The food is great and you're great. It was just a weird day, that's all."

"It's fine. I'm sorry for boring you with my job. I'm just very excited."

"You couldn't be boring if you tried."

She cracked a small smile " Now you're just sweet talking."

"Guilty as charged."

She played absentedly with her food for a moment, trying to muster the courage to bring up the Sons of anarchy. "Jax, can I ask you something?" she ventured.

He nodded curious.

"Why didn't you tell me about the sons of anarchy?"

It wasn't an accusation, or a criticism, it was a simple question. He grinned "See we've been catching up with the local gossip?"

"Well, everyone in this town seems to know who you and your family are."

He shook his head. "Trust me Darlin', they don't know the first thing about me or my family."

"Then, why didn't you tell me?"

"It just didn't come up."

She gave me an incredulous look and took a sip of water before taking a new angle. "My friend says I should be careful with you."

He looked right into her eyes "She's probably right. I am probably the last person in Charming you want to get involved with, Jesse. People like you and I, we're from different worlds. You're a doctor and I'm just a mechanic who never graduated high school."

"Is that all you are Jax?"

Jax sighed. "If you want to know something Jesse, all you need to do is ask."

"Your club, it's more than just a bunch of motorcycles enthusiast, right?" She bit her lip nervously.

Jax paused trying to decide how to answer. "Yeah. Most of what you've heard about me and my club is probably true."

"Are you trying to scare me?"

After his chat with Wendy, Jax had realised the last thing he would ever want to do was hurt Jesse. He knew he should walk away. He was now sure that she didn't know who was behind the attack and wouldn't be able to point a finger at any of them. There was no reason for him to keep up the charade. He should cut his losses and let her go but something was preventing him from doing it. He cared for her. In a very short time, she had become important to him and he didn't want to lose her. When they had kissed, it was like his whole world had shifted. He had been with a lot of women, hundreds maybe but none of them had made him feel what she did when her lips had touched his. He hated the idea of lying to her but she couldn't know the truth, not all of it anyway.

"I'm trying to be honest. So you know what you're getting yourself into. I like you Jesse. More than I've liked any woman in a long time." _More than I should _he thought to himself. "But there are things about me, things I can't tell you. Things I might never be able to tell you. And if you can't accept that, I get it and if you want me to go, just say the word."

Jesse had always had a good head on her shoulder. Her whole life she had taken rational decision listening to the voice of reason. She knew she should ask him to leave. She knew she should thank him for his help and be done with him but for once maybe for the first time in her life Jesse wanted to silence that voice in her head that kept telling her this was a mistake. For once, she wanted listen to her heart. After all, she had her own secrets she could never share with him, parts of her she could never show him. Did that mean she needed to walk away from the one person that had made her feel alive for the first time in years?

Faced with her silence, Jax stood up to leave. "Thanks for dinner Doc."

She quickly got her feet and caught his hand in hers. "Don't." She looked down trying to gather her thoughts, unwilling to see his eyes because she knew once she gazed into them, she wouldn't be in control anymore.

She heard his soft voice in her ear. "Jesse." He cupped her face in his hands, stroking her cheek. "Look at me."

She did. She was immediately hypnotized by his soulful eyes. She knew the next words that came out of her mouth would define the rest of their relationship and months later she would ponder what would have happened next if she'd replied differently. But that night, Jesse answered the only thing that made sense to her. "Stay."

She took a step closer and with a slight tremor in her hands she brushed his lips with her thumb before lightly grazing his lips with hers. Before their kiss could intensify, she pulled away. He shot her a questioning look waiting for her lead. Her eyes locked on his, she took his hand in hers and guided him towards her bedroom. When they reached her bed, she looked down and started undoing the buttons of her blouse. Jax noticed her hands were shaking again so he placed his fingers on hers. "Jesse, we don't have to."

"I want to."

"Then let me."

He slowly undid her blouse, taking his time. Every time his fingers grazed her skin, he felt her suppress a breath. Once he was done he let the top fall to their feet and kneeled in front of her to unbutton her jeans. He caressed her legs softly as she closed her eyes and let out an appreciative moan. He swiftly stood up and cupped her face in his hand before taking possession of her lips again. Their kiss grew more intense, more passionate. They were both growing impatient, yearning to feel the other. She pulled his tee-shirt above his head, revealing his chiseled and muscular chest and threw it in the corner. She approached her lips from his soft skin and brushed it with her lips as he delicately slid his hand on her back and unhooked her bra. He took a step back to look at her. She was radiant. Her breasts were small but perfectly proportioned to the rest of her body, her skin was silky and smooth, He tenderly undid her bun and ran his fingers through her hair, drinking her with his eyes. Jesse suddenly felt exposed as his eyes perused her body hungrily.

"You're beautiful he whispered softly into her ear before kissing her again. He cupped her firm ass in his hands and lifted her up before laying her on the bed delicately letting his hands free to explore her body. She moaned with pleasure as his hand worked their way up her leg and into her intimacy. He straightened up before taking off the last barrier between them and directed his head towards her pussy to taste her.

He let his tongue work on he and he felt her fingers dig in his shoulder. Every stroke of his tongue was acknowledged b a pleasure filled sigh. As she reached her climax, he felt her grip his hair. He realised how hard his cock was. He wanted, no, needed to possess her now. He worked his way up and eyed her for confirmation that she was ready. She unbelted him and let her hand in his jeans stroking him.

"Darlin' you're driving me crazy."

Without breaking eyes contact, she moved on top of him expertly removing his jeans and guiding him inside of her. They sat up and she let him take control of her digging her fingers in his back. A few minutes, later she was climaxing for the second time that night and hoped it wouldn't be the last.

* * *

><p>"Jesus Christ."<p>

Gemma rolled on her back panting as Clay stood over her a huge grin on his face.

He kissed the crow on her chest. "Am I forgiven yet?"

"Sweetheart, it wasn't_ that_ good." She teased.

He raised an eyebrow ready to take the silent challenge she was offering when he heard her phone ring.

He looked at her quizzically. "Who's calling at this hour?"

She moved from under him to open the drawer where she had tossed her cell earlier. " Let's find out shall we?

"Hello?"

She heard a feminine voice "Is this Gemma Teller?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"I'm sorry to bother you at this hour, my name is Nicole I'm a nurse at St Thomas Hospital. I'm afraid i have bad news."


	10. One night is not enough

**Thanks for the favs, follows, and reviews! Love, Love, Love them. As usual, read and don't forget to review!**

**Chapter 10 – One night is not enough**

Gemma snapped her phone shut and resumed her frantic pacing. She had tried calling her son hundred times and she kept going to voicemail. She was angry and worried which for anyone who knew her meant there would be hell to pay. Gemma had thought her heart was going to give out when the nurse had called advising her there had been an accident. Straight away, Gemma's thoughts had jumped to her son. He had been MIA most of the day and no one seemed to know where he was. But it hadn't been about Jax. It had been about the junkie bitch. After she was brought in for a suspected overdose, the hospital had tried to contact Jax numerous times to no avail. So out of options, one of the nurses had suggested calling Jax's next of kin which unfortunately was still Gemma. She didn't really give a shit about the whore her son had married. As far as she was concerned she could spent the rest of eternity in hell; it wasn't like she would be missed. But for the little shithead to drop off the surface of the earth and decide it was also a good time to turn off his phone was unacceptable. He knew better. She couldn't wait to get her hands on him.

Clay let out a noisy sigh. "I'm sure he's fine."

"You don't _know_ that." She spat back. "For all you know, he could be dead in some ditch."

A doctor walked through the swing doors and made her way to them. "Wendy Teller's family?"

"Not by choice, trust me Darlin."

The man tried to hide her discomfort under her professional demeanor but failed. "I'm Dr Porter, from the ER. Your daughter–in-law had a massive reaction to the drugs, she took. Her heart failed. We were able to bring her back and stabilize her but her state is still critical. Have you been able to track down her husband?"

"Not yet, no."

He took a stern tone. "Well, the sooner, the better. We might need him to make certain decisions."

"What decisions?"

"If Wendy's heart was damaged by the heart attack, she might need surgery." He paused to make sure they understood. "We've requested a cardio consult to establish how much damage was done, but the cardiologist might have to go in and repair.

"Heart surgery?"

"Yes."

"My god. Is she going to die?"

"Like I said, we can't say anything for the moment."

"Thanks Doc." Gemma waited until the doctor was too far to hear before muttering to herself. "Stupid bitch."

* * *

><p>Jesse felt the sun brush her face and as the events of the night before came back to her, she felt a smile creep up her face. Her night with Jax had been incredible. After making love, they had just sat in bed, talking for hours and it had been so natural, so right. Jesse turned over to her side and open her eyes, but was surprised to find the other side of the bed was empty.<p>

She got out of the bed and covered her nudity with a robe before heading to the kitchen. He was perched on a stool, writing frantically in a notepad above the bar. She watched him for a minute. He was only wearing boxers so that his tattoos were completely visible. Jesse remembered kissing each of them last night.

"Hey you." She said softly.

He turned around, quickly closing his pad and shot her a warm smile. "Hey."

She walked to him and touched his lips with hers. He cupped his hands around her face as their kiss intensified before she suddenly pulled away. "Is that coffee I smell?"

"I made a pot, hope you don't mind."

"Now, _you_ are my kind of man Jax Teller."

She walked to the other side of the bar and poured herself a cup. "So what are you writing?"

"Just stuff."

She shot him a quizzical look. "Stuff?"

"just thoughts and shits."

She raised an eyebrow and smiled "Jax, do you have a journal?"

"You're making fun of me?"

"No, you're just… full of surprises."

He chuckled "I hope that's a good thing."

She perched on her toes, bending her body over the bar and kissed him. "What do you think?"

* * *

><p>To Clay's relief, Gemma had finally decided to sit down and even though she kept moving her legs nervously he was glad she wasn't making his head spin anymore. The truth was he didn't really even know what they were doing here. There had never been any love lost between Gemma and Wendy when she was married to Jax and it had only gotten worse with the separation and the divorce proceedings. But Clay knew that when the hospital hadn't been able to reach Jax and she couldn't get through to him either, her oversized mother instincts had kicked into gear and she'd become crazy with worry and that being in the hospital was her way of being in control of the situation. His step son had probably been getting some pussy all night and although he would have to talk to him about not replying to the phone, Clay wasn't worried.<p>

He saw his wife stand up and followed her gaze. She had spotted Opie, Chibs and the rest of the crew making their way down the corridor.

Opie was the first to speak "Hey Gemma. "

"Did you guys find him?" she asked with urgency.

When Gemma had been unable to reach her son, she had called Opie in case he knew where Jax was. Soon after, Opie had called on the rest of the club and they started roaming places where Jax could be. "We checked the clubhouse, the garage, called a few crow eaters, no one has seen him. How's Wendy?"

"She's till a junkie." Gemma spat venomously. She put her hand to her mouth to bit her nail when something hit her. "Where's the prospect?"

"Downstairs, he gets squeamish around hospitals."

Gemma shot him an incredulous look. The kid had been through Iraq and was squeamish around hospitals.

"That was initial reaction too." The scot replied even though no questions had been asked. "Go figure."

But Gemma knew exactly why the prospect wasn't here and the only thing he was squeamish about was facing her inquisitive eyes. She moved way from them towards the elevator.

Clay called out to her."Where the hell are you going?"

"I'm feeling squeamish too!" she replied with clenched teeth.

A few minutes later, Gemma stormed out of the elevator and through the automatic doors, a woman on a mission. She saw the prospect on the phone in the tow truck and made a bee line for him.

"Hey Jax, it's Half Sack, look man everyone is looking for you, and I don't know …

Suddenly he heard the passenger door open, startling him and watched powerless as the Pres' old lady pulled herself into the truck.

"Hey Gem…"

"You listen, you little shithead, you are going to take me to that house Jax had you painting and you're going to take me now."

"Gemma, I don't think…"

"NOW!"

He nodded frantically. "Okay." He stammered before starting the engine .

* * *

><p>Jesse was already dressed for work and was expertly applying make up in the mirror when Jax stepped out of the bathroom still naked as day and drying his hair. She couldn't help but steal a look at him through the mirror. After coffee, they had made love again and would still be in bed if Jesse hadn't had to get ready for work. She had been waiting for this day and didn't want to be late. He put on his boxers and jeans and caught her staring at him in the mirror. He grinned ear to ear as he came up behind her putting his arms around her waist, laying a small kiss on her shoulder.<p>

"Hey beautiful."

"You know, you already had your way with me, you can stop with all the compliments."

"Well, I was kind of hoping of having my way with you again tonight."

She gave him nudge with her elbow. "Sweet talker."

"Seriously though, am I going to see you tonight?"

She opened her mouth to speak but was stopped by the doorbell. She frowned not used to having any visitors in the morning. She planted a quick kiss on his lips. "Hold that thought."

She jogged to her front door unable to wipe the smile off her face and opened the door. An angry looking woman was standing at the door, her smoldering eyes throwing daggers at Jesse. "Hello. Can I help you?"

"Yes sweetheart, you can start by telling me where the hell my son is!"

Without taking her eyes off of the woman, Jesse called out. "Jax?"

Jax stepped out of the bedroom pulling down his tee shirt "Hey, what's … mum? What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you. We've been calling you all night. Thought you'd like to know your_ wife_ is in the hospital."

It was like the air had suddenly been sucked out of the room. Jax's eyes immediately flew to Jesse. She stood motionless in the doorway, staring at the floor. It was only a few second until Gemma spoke again but it seemed an eternity. "I'll leave you to say your goodbyes." he heard his mother say pointedly before walking away.

"Jesse…"

"You should go see your wife Jax." She interrupted calmly, her eyes not meeting his.

Jax tried again."I can explain." She had to understand, to hear him out.

She finally tore out her eyes from the floor and looked straight into him. He could literally read the hurt in her eyes. She was fighting back tears as she whispered. "Please go."

He didn't want to go. He wanted to stay and talk to her, he wanted her to give him a chance to explain but he looked into her eyes and knew she needed time before she could hear him out so he just walked out dejectedly.

He spotted the prospect standing by the tow truck and but before he could even react his mother was already gunning for him.

"Are you out of your god damn mind?" she spat , her face barely centimeters away from her sons. "Disappearing without telling anyone where you are? Turning off your phone? What if the club had needed you?"

He walked around her to get to his bike. "I ran out of battery, alright. And the club didn't need me."

"No, that was your wife." She shrugged.

"Oh, so now you're worried about Wendy?" he sneered.

She took out her sunglasses and pointed them at him. "I don't give a shit about that junkie whore. But do you have any ideas of how worried I was all night while you were busy getting laid?"

"Maybe you just stop worrying so damn much."

"And maybe _you_ should try and get your priorities in order." She put back her shades and stomped off passing the prospect. "Let's go prospect."

Half-Sack advanced towards Jax. "Jax, I…"

"Now prospect!"

Jax glared at him and pointed a finger towards him "Take her back. You and I we'll talk later, shit head." He ordered before hoping on his bike. This was really going to be a shitty day.

* * *

><p>Jesse took out her white coat from her locker and absently slipped it on. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid. All the signs had been there to warn her against getting involved with Jax and yet she'd stupidly followed her heart. She should have known better. She <em>knew<em> better. She felt so humiliated. She'd not only slept with a married man but as if that wasn't embarrassing enough his own mother had showed at her house. She angrily closed the door to her locker and heard a knock on her office door. "Come in."

The door opened revealing Margaret Murphy holding a pile of files. "Dr. Granger, welcome back."

"Thank you, I'm sorry but I have to get to the E.R"

"That's actually why I'm here. Dr Andrews is out sick today and Dr Miner and Dr Stark are both in surgeries this morning. We need you to handle the post ops and cardio consults."

Jesse sighted. At least one thing working out for her today. "Of course. Are those the files?

The administrator nodded and held out the files to her, Jesse took place at her desk and glanced at the first file when something caught her attention. "Margaret?"

"Yes Dr?"

She held out a file back to her. "I hate to have to say this, but…I can't take this case."

"Wendy Teller? Why not?"

Jesse felt herself blushing "I'm… I _was_ involved with her husband. It's a conflict of interest."

"Was?"

"Yes, it's over but…"

"Then the conflict of interest is irrelevant. This is a small hospital Dr Granger, we don't have the luxury of choosing our cases."

"That's not what I'm doing." Jesse snapped back.

"Then you won't see any issues dealing with Mrs Teller's case."

Jesse stifled a sharp retort "Sure."

"Good."

* * *

><p>Jax looked at his watch and let out a sad snigger. He had been here for a few hours and his junkie ex-wife had yet to wake up. Yes, ex-wife because through a cruel irony, his lawyer Helen Lowen had just called him to inform him his divorce had been finalized and was now official. This was probably what had prompted Wendy's pity party that had taken her to his hospital bed. He had finally convinced Gemma to go home about an hours ago and the boys had followed shortly after promising to come back later. He slung his head back onto the chair, this wasn't his first dance with Wendy and he knew it could be between six and twelve hours until she woke up. Jax suddenly felt very tired. He was so sick of this shit. Every time his life seemed to take a new turn, he was brought back right into that crap, with the club, with Wendy, even with his mother. His thoughts went back to Jesse and the look of betrayal he had seen in her eyes. He knew Jesse had deep trust issues. She had told him so during their conversations last night but he had long suspected it. He also knew she was still hiding things from him. While they slept the night before, her sleep had been restless, she kept moving and trashing about until he had held her close and she had seemed to find some respite. He had hoped he could break through her defenses with time, get her to trust him but this was now looking very unlikely. He didn't want to lose her. Last night had changed things for him. He knew he wanted her, he wanted to really be with her. He couldn't explain it but he'd never felt so strongly for someone so quick.<p>

Wendy moved in her bed and opened her eyes with difficulty. She looked around her with confusion and realised where she was. "Shit."

"Morning."

She turned around and took in Jax's upset look. "Jax. I'm sorry."

He sneered. "Do you ever get tired of it Wendy? Apologizing, saying you're sorry."

"I wanted to get clean Jax, I really did."

"You nearly died last night, Wendy. Do you get that? This shit is going to kill you."

"I know. I'm sorry Jax, please don't be mad at me." She sobbed.

He looked at her and couldn't help but think how pathetic she was. She was weak and manipulative and he decided he was done. After this time, he was done trying to help her; he was done being caught in her bullshit. This was the last straw. He stood up. "You need to get help Wendy. I'll get one of the girls to bring your stuff from the house."

"You're not staying?"

He was about to answer when the door opened and Jesse walked in wearing a white coat, another doctor in tow. "Wendy Teller? I'm Dr Granger, I'm the cardiologist. This is my intern Dr Taylor. How are you doing today?"

When she looked up, she spotted Jax by Wendy's bed and froze. "Jax?"

Wendy's eyes went from Jax to the doctor. "You two know each other?"

Jesse finally teared her eyes away from Jax "Yeah no, your husband helped me with my car the other day."

"Ex-husband. As of today"

Jesse's eyes flew to him before she could prevent it "Right." She cleared her throat. "So how are you feeling today?"

"I've been better."

"Wendy, do you know what happened?"

"I overdosed."

"Yeah, but when you did, the drugs caused your heart to fail."

"Are you saying I had a heart attack?"

"Yes. We're going to run some tests this morning to see if there's any damage and we'll know more after that. In the meanwhile, you should rest."

"Thanks Doctor."

Jesse smiled tightly and after glancing quickly at Jax, she left the room. She turned to the intern accompanying her. "I want bloods, ECG, a chest X-Ray, MRI I don't want anything invasive unless we've got reason to believe her heart's been damaged. Put her on Heparin 5mg while you do the tests."

The intern nodded and walked away just as Jax walked out of Wendy's bedroom. He approached her cautiously. "Can we talk?"

"This really isn't appropriate Jax."

"Just hear me out. Please."

She nodded imperceptibly. "Follow me."

He did as told and she led him to her office closing the door behind him before walking on the other side of the desk. She needed the space between them so she wouldn't get confused. "What is it, Jax?"

"I know how this looks. But Wendy and I, we've been separated for a year. Our divorce has just been made official like she told you. I didn't tell you because…"

"Because you knew I would never get involved with a married man?" she interrupted.

He sighted loudly "Jesse, this isn't some love triangle bullshit. It's a timing issue. I've been clear with Wendy. I want to be with you."

"Yeah, I wish you had been that clear with me." She retorted. "Let me ask you a question Jax. Why were you at that NA meeting? Because I'm petty sure you've haven't been high a day in your life."

"It's complicated" was the only answer he could muster.

"I bet it is."

"It's got nothing to do with this."

"Doesn't it? It could be me in that bed instead of Wendy."

"No it couldn't."

She cackled. "You only say that because you've never seen me on a high. The drugs owned me Jax. When I was high, it was like I had wings. But when it wore off, I would have done anything to get the next one. Anything. Look, I believe you Jax. I believe you when you say that you and your wife are over and I believe that you wouldn't try and hurt me deliberately. But I just…I've worked really hard to build this life. It's simple, uncomplicated. And being with you, it's just… complicated, it's too much. I'm sorry, I can't. Last night was a mistake and it shouldn't have happened, and won't happen again.

"You really mean that?"

"Yes, I do."

He let out a sad laugh and nodded. "Have a nice life Doc."

He walked out of the office and Jesse felt her eyes burning "Shit." She let herself fall in her chair and allowed her tears to fall.

**I know a lot of you don't like Wendy but she's a mean to an end and not an end to this story, she should be dealt with within the next few chapters so stick with me and in the meanwhile let me know what you think with a quick review!**


	11. Don't tell me that it's over

**Thanks for your reviews, follows & favs, you guys have been great with me and this story. So here it is and enjoy!**

**CHAPTER XI – Don't tell me that it's over. **

"So I hear Wendy Teller is leaving us today." Janine brought up innocently as she toyed with her milkshake straw. They were in Jesse's office, enjoying their twice weekly lunch that was unfortunately more often that not cancelled due to both women schedule. Janine loved to fill in Jesse with the local hospital gossip and Jesse just enjoyed the down time with her friend.

Jesse swallowed a bite of her turkey sandwich before replying. "Yes, we finally found her a bed in a rehab center near Sacramento." She tried to be non committal in her answer, distancing herself from the memory of a certain blond biker. It had been 4 days since they had their conversation in her office where she told him their night together had been a mistake and she hadn't been able to shake him since. The look on his face when she'd said those words… He'd stared at her in disbelief and yes…hurt.

The head nurse let out a snort. "Good, because she was driving my nurses crazy. How much jelly can that woman gobble down?"

Jesse forced a smile wishing they could get move to another subject. Treating Wendy the last four days had been awkward at best, downright uncomfortable sometimes and she was looking forward to the woman's departure from her service. She was sure Margaret Murphy was playing out some kind of punishment. Once the results of the cardio test had come back negative and they were sure that Wendy's heart suffered no lasting damage, she had tried to get the case re-assigned to another doctor but the administrator had kept finding excuses.

"Have you talked to him?"

Jesse looked up to find two concerned eyes staring at her. "Who?"

The nurse chuckled, amused at her friend's attempt to dodge the question. "The giant elephant in the room? Jackson Teller, that's who."

"Janine, I really don't want to talk about Jax." She urged as she busied herself with cleaning her desk of any crumbs.

Janine rolled her eyes theatrically. "Oh come on, you've been miserable the last few days! And you should see him look around, obviously searching for you when he comes visit her. You two have gotten really good at avoiding each other."

"You've been _watching _him?" Jesse chastised, straightening up in her chair.

Janine raised her hands to stop any recriminations. "Don't worry, he was too busy moping over you to notice." She mocked.

Jesse relaxed in her chair as her friend continued to eyed her questioningly. "Things are just complicated." She stated, rubbing her forehead.

"Maybe it shouldn't be."

A thought suddenly stroke Jesse. "Wait, weren't you the one telling me to be careful with him?"

"I said be careful, I didn't say dump his fine, fine ass."

The doctor's mouth opened in feign shock but she could only giggle at the inappropriate comment.

"Jesse, if anything, the guy finally got you to have a little fun, loosen up which I've been trying to get you to do."

"Oh yeah, in the whole two months you've known me?" Jesse countered.

Her friend raised a warning finger at her. "Don't be a bitch now."

"It's just not me, Janine. I don't do casual, and I don't really want to be his rebound girl." She took a sip of her water before continuing. "Maybe this whole thing was just a giant mistake from the beginning. I mean me and a biker. What was I thinking?"

"And maybe you're just looking for excuses."

"I'm not." Jesse defended

"Really?" Janine ran her eyes across her friend's face, wondering if she should speak her mind before taking a deep breath. "Jesse, I'm going to say this and then I promise I will never mention it again unless you want me to. I…I'm not sure what happened to you in the past but I think I've got a pretty good idea. And no matter how hard it is, you can't keep running from it and you can't keep bottling it up. At some point, you're going to need to let someone in."

"Someone like Jax?"

"Jax, me, anyone you want. But if you don't, it's going to keep eating at you until life passes you by. You can't spend your life watching from the sidelines, alone."

Janine words resonated through the room as an uncomfortable silence settled between the women. Before Jesse could formulate any sort of response, Janine's pager went off. She took it off her waist and checked it. "Duty calls." She stood up taking the remnants of her lunch with her. "I'm sorry, Jesse I didn't mean to overstep any boundaries."

Jesse decided to let her only friend off the hook. "Do you have any?"

Janine giggled, relieved to be forgiven. "Alright, time to retract the claws, now." She took a quick few steps towards the door before spinning around. "I'll just say this and then leave you to it. Ask yourself if he was a mistake. Or if you just wish he were… I'll see you later." She smiled at her friend and exited the office.

* * *

><p>Gemma took out a long drag of her cigarette, surveying the lot through the office window. Things had been really quiet around here lately and it always unnerved her. Things always went quiet before shit hit the fan. Needless to say she was worried about one thing in particular. Or more to the case one person. Her son. Over the last month, she had noticed a difference in him. He had become distant, secretive. If that change had been only directed towards her, she wouldn't have worried, but he was doing it with his club, with Opie. He was keeping everyone at arm's length and she couldn't help but be reminded of a similar situation she had faced in the past. With John Teller. He had shut her out too. Not overnight like Jackson had, no, with John it had been gradual. It had started when Thomas had gotten sick with his escape to Belfast and had only gotten worse after their son's passing. He left her, abandoned her without even leaving her side. She had found herself alone, the one man meant to love her looking at her with nothing more than contempt in his eyes. She shuddered the thought away, reminding herself her son was not his father. And he would never be. She wouldn't let him be.<p>

"Penny for your thoughts."

She turned to the familiar voice of her current husband, raising an eyebrow. "I'm not sure they're worth that much."

Clay cleaned up his hand from the grease he had been gathering all morning. "Let me guess, you're worried about the kid."

"It's not funny." She scolded him.

"Oh, trust me. I know."

"Did you talk to him?"

"Nothing for me to talk to him about. The man just got our of a messy marriage and he's chasing tail Gem let him be."

"It's not about him chasing tail, Clay, you know that. It's about whose tail he's chasing. Getting involved with outsiders who don't and will never understand who we are and what we do? It's a bad idea.

He sighed, "I'd tell you to stay out of it, but I know you won't listen so what are you going to do?"

"What makes you think I'm going to do anything?"

"Really?" he retorted, unable to stop the sarcasm.

She couldn't suppress a smile. "I'm going to do what I always do, protect my family."

He chortled, shacking his head in resignation knowing that once his wife was on a mission, there was no stopping her, especially if she was protecting put his hand on her hips as she wrapped her hands around his neck. " Please, whatever you do, keep me out of it."

She planted a quick kiss on his lips. "You got it babe."

* * *

><p>Jackson opened the drawer one more time closing it as he realised he had already checked it. Twice. There was no other answer, he must have left his journal at Jesse's house. He felt weird, having all his thoughts out there for someone to read if they wished. Not that there was anything compromising in them, but those words were not to be shared with anyone. He would have to go see her to get it back. He wasn't sure how to feel about it. He hadn't seen her much since she'd ended it with him. A couple of times while he visited Wendy. Both times, she had pretended he wasn't even there, as if he didn't exist. He wished he could just flip a switch and stop thinking about her. He had put himself into her life to protect his club and when he realised she didn't know anything, he should have walked away. He should have but he didn't. He hadn't wanted to lose her. He hadn't wanted to lose what he felt when he was around her. Something he didn't think he'd ever feel again. But she had been clear she didn't want to see him again, and this time Jax was trying to respect her wishes. He heard steps coming down the corridor to his dorm room and knew immediately who to expect.<p>

"Hey Ma."

"Hey baby. What you doin'?"

"Just clearing up some shit." He jerked his head to her. "What's up?"

She placed a hand on her hip. "I hear the junkie is getting out today?"

Jax rolled his eyes, annoyed. "Can you stop calling her that? She's got a name you know."

"Oh I know that." she mumbled before sitting at the end of the bed. "You're gonna go see her before they ship her off?"

"I already told you I would. " He smiled amused by her questions and answers game. "So how about you just get to the point mum?"

"Sit. Don't roll your eyes at me again Jackson. Just do it." "I take it from the sad face you've been showing all week that you and the doctor are done?"

"It's none of your business, ma."

"I make it my business, Jackson. Because you are my business. You're my son." She took his hand in hers. "And I don't want to see you get hurt. Not again. Or do you not remember what happened the last time you let an outsider in? That little bitch broke your heart."

"So what Mum? Crow eaters and sweet butts, that's what I get? Is that what you want for me?"

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes at him."Don't get overdramatic." Jabbing her finger on his chest, she continued. "You're the vice president of the Sons of Anarchy. The future president of this club. You can have anything, anyone you want. No croweater is going to bear my future grand kids, I'll have you know that. And I know you think I'm overbearing but let me ask you something, if you're so sure this girl is right for you, then why did you feel like you had to lie to me, to your club? Don't make the same mistakes your father did Jax. This life, it's simple. No need to overcomplicate it." She cupped his face in her hands and deposited a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth as she always did. She brushed her thumb across his cheek before standing "Say goodbye to the junkie for me, will ya?" She added before walking out the door.

* * *

><p>Jesse adjusted her stethoscope back on her neck. "So everything seems in order Wendy, your vitals are great, so we'll get the nurses started on your discharge paperwork."<p>

"Thanks Doctor." The woman murmured. She looked beat, sad and alone.

Jesse turned to her intern. "Would you give us a minute?"

The young man nodded and Jesse waited until he exited the room before continuing. "There's someone called Ronda at the Wellness Rehab center. She… she got a lot of people through what you're going to go through. You can trust her."

And Jesse did. Ronda had single-handedly saved Jesse's life. She got her through three rehabs and two relapses, guiding her through the steps, listening to her cry hysterically at three o'clock in the morning, holding her hair while she puked her guts out during detox.

Ronda, a recovering addict herself, had been an addiction consultant for twenty years in San Diego before recently taking the opportunity to head the Wellness Rehab center. In Sacramento. They still talked from time to time whenever Jesse felt her old demons tugging at her. So when no space had been available for Wendy in the local rehabs, Jesse had used her connection to get Wendy a bed.

"Can I ask you something Doc? The nurses said it was you who got me a spot in that fancy rehab, is that true?

"I made a couple of calls, yes."

Wendy held up her head before pointedly gripping. "You do this for all your patients? Or just the ones whose husband you're screwing?"

Jesse almost lost her footing. She opened her mouth to speak before closing it, knowing there wasn't much she could say. She sat on the chair next to the bed looking contrite. "Wendy, I… I'm so sorry, I…This is not why I'm helping. Believe me."

Wendy's face seemed to soften. "It's fine, I'm sorry for blurting it out like that. I just… I guess I just wanted an honest reaction." She looked at her trembling hands and sniggered. "I saw the way he looked at you when you walked into the room my first day here. He never looked at me like that. I knew straight away your car breaking down story was bullshit."

_Actually that story is kind of true_, Jesse thought silently. "Wendy, I didn't know he was married. I would have never gotten involved with him otherwise."

"It wouldn't have mattered. Our marriage was fucked up long before you showed up, doctor. And it's all my fault."

"Wendy, you need to concentrate on the positive in your life. Right now, that's the most important." Jesse remarked before hesitantly patting Wendy's hand.

"Yeah, heard the speech before."

Jesse looked at her and something resonated with her. The words she'd told Jax came back to her. _It could be me in that bed instead of Wendy. _It _had_ been her in the bed_. _Her saving grace had come in the form of Ronda and she hoped Wendy would find hers. She took a deep breath. "It took me 3 tries. To get clean."

Wendy wouldn't have looked more surprised if Jesse had told her she was secretly a man. "You? You look so…together. "

Jesse couldn't help but laugh at that. Together was so far away from what she was.

"What's the secret?" Wendy enquired.

"To try until you get there."

"I guess we have more than one thing in common now uh?" Wendy was trying to lighten up the mood, and they knew it. But the smile on her face disappeared and she stared right into Jesse eyes. "He is a good guy, Doctor. A lot of guys would have just washed their hands of me, put me in the streets. He didn't. Whatever happened with us, it's on me. "

Jesse was not going to have this conversation with her one night stand's ex-wife. There was weird, and then there was that. "I have to continue my rounds." She announced standing up. "Good luck Wendy."

"You too."

Jesse gave her a small smile and left the room only to spot Jax coming out of the elevator. She saw him hesitate before he made his way towards her. "Hey." He greeted her softly.

"Hi. I was just leaving."

" Wait, I think I might have left my journals in your house the other day."

"I didn't see it, but I'll have a look."

"Thanks."

She couldn't help but notice how beat he seemed. He looked tired, weary. "Jax, are you okay?"

He snickered "What you're worried about me now?"

"You're not being fair."

"Maybe I'm sick of being fair."

He pushed past her and walked into Wendy's room as she let out a deep sigh. Was this day over yet?

"Doctor Granger."

_Not just yet_. She concluded as she turned around to face the chief administrator judgemental eyes.

"Everything okay?"

Jesse nodded enthusiastically, maybe too much. "Yeah, everything's fine what can I do for you?"

Margaret pursed her lips together clearing her throat."Dr Granger, I wasn't going to say anything but you're new to this town and I think someone needs to warn you."

"I don't follow."

" And I think you do. You told me your association with… _them_ was over."

"And it is."

"You should make sure of that. You have to realise that this is a small town and as a new young doctor, I think it would be highly detrimental to your career if your reputation was…tarnished by associating with that type of people.

Jesse felt her anger brewing. She was getting tired of people telling her what to do today. "I'm not sure how my private life has anything to do with my career."

"Like I said, Dr Granger, this is a small town." Margaret gave her one of her tight smile and held out a paper to her. "Here, you've been fully clearer for surgery."

**So this chapter was more of a filler with a lot of character interactions but I hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter will hopefully be up soon.**

**Thanks for taking the time to read, and remember I like all feedback good or bad so don't be shy!**


	12. Surrender

**Chapter XII - Surrender**

**Thanks again for all the reviews, favs and follows! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

Jesse walked into the grocery shop, pushing her trolley. She was feeling completely exhausted. This whole day had really taken it out of her. Her mind seemed to be replaying it on repeat. Janine, Margaret, Jax… god even Wendy. Everyone seemed to have an opinion about what was going on in her life, about what she should do, think, feel. Some like Janine had only good intentions, but it didn't make it any easier to hear. She didn't need anyone telling her how alone she was. She knew that. She had been alone for so long, that loneliness had become an old friend. For the longest time, she had not only been fine with it, she had actually enjoyed it. It had allowed her to focus on her career, putting in the hours necessary as she wasn't accountable to anyone but herself. Her life had finally become her own. Solitude suited her. It was easy and it came naturally to her. When she was offered a fellowship in Charming, she had thought that a small sleepy town was exactly what she needed. She could enjoy her work, settle into a quiet life and maybe she could finally stop running and relax. But so far, her new life in Charming had been anything but quiet. Instead, she had had found herself in the middle of a shooting and that had somehow led to her sleeping with a biker. After being alone for all those years, she suddenly had all those people expecting her to make room for them in her life. It had started when she'd stroke an unlikely friendship with Janine. She had been charmed by the head nurse strong personality. She might lack boundaries and bedside manners but Jesse loved her because she was caring and loving. And then she'd met Jax and he had made her question just about everything in her life. Jesse had never been much of a romantic; She didn't believe in love at first sight and she certainly wasn't the kind to embark on a passionate love affair without thinking it through. She had learned the hard way that love can be as much a good thing as it can be a bad thing. The kind of love she'd known in the past had almost killed her, figuratively and literally. That wasn't something she thought she could survive again. But then a blond, blue eyed biker waltzed into her life and suddenly she found herself wanting more. She was suddenly willing to listen to her heart which had never done any good. He had taken her entirely by surprise and she had let him. As much as Jesse wished she could just let go and let herself truly enjoy it, she didn't even know how. She rubbed her temples as she absently ran through the contents of her trolley.

"Hard day?"

She looked up and recognized David Hale pushing his own trolley. She couldn't help but notice it was the first time she was seeing him in street clothes. He looked…different. He was an attractive man in any case, but where he always looked so polished and serious in uniform, civilian clothes gave him a softer side, he was more approachable. He was looking at her with a slight concern.

"Hi Depu…David." She corrected quickly. "How are you?"

"Good, I'm good. What about you? I haven't seen you in a while."

They had not seen each other since their dinner the previous week. He had called her after that to let her know that Charming PD was closing the investigation and transferring the case to the San Joaquin Sheriff's department but that had been the last time they'd spoken. She wrinkled her nose. "I…I've had better days."

He smiled and enquired "Tough day at the hospital?"

"Tough week." She chuckled. "But it's nothing a bath and a good night sleep won't fix."

She watched him fidget a little as he put a hand in his pocket and timidly asked "Would you like some company?" Realizing what he said might be wrongly interpreted he backtracked. "That's not what I meant…" he stopped and let out a self derisive laugh. "As you can tell, I haven't done this in a while. What I meant to say is, would you like to have dinner? You know, take your mind off this day."

Call her naïve, but she didn't see it coming. When they had had diner and they had managed to evade that awkward moment at the door, she'd thought things were clear. She liked Hale, she really did. He seemed like an upstanding guy, he was obviously smart and he had integrity. But the truth was he didn't make her heart race, he didn't make her stomach flutter like a lovesick teenager, he didn't make her want to get lost in his eyes. No, someone was making her feel that way, but it wasn't David Hale. "David, I…I it's a very nice offer and I would, it's just… it would probably mean something different for you than it did for me. I…I'm, just…" She paused and try to figure out what to say, decide if she _wanted _to say it. "The truth I'm kind of seeing someone. I mean, maybe. It's just complicated. But I hate thinking that I led you on. "

He looked disappointed but he took a step towards her and placed his hand on her. "You didn't. I shouldn't have presumed anything."

Still flustered, she smiled weakly and he responded in kind. "He's very lucky, whoever he is. "

"Thank you."

"I should go. I…I'll see you around." he concluded as she watched him walk away.

Even though, she hadn't known him for long, Jesse couldn't help thinking that she'd just lost a friend and that did hurt a little. But more than that, she was still working through what she had told him. That she was seeing someone. At the minute, the future of her relationship with Jax was very bleak but yet she never even considered saying yes to the deputy. She _felt_ in a relationship which was silly since she'd ended things with Jax. And it wasn't as if they were in a relationship to begin with. They had kissed twice and spent then a night together . That hardly made them a couple. She let out a long sigh, there were so many questions that kept piling up in her head, she felt a headache coming. It was one days like this one that she craved an escape. She would have given anything for a glass of wine…or three. It wasn't as if she never drank alcohol, she did indulge in a glass of wine or a beer from time to time, but since she had left rehab, she had never drunk alone and she had never drunk upset. So club soda and lime would have to do. She walked into the vegetable alley and had the vague feeling that she was being observed. She looked around and saw a familiar face eyeing her. Jax's mother. She took a few steps forward towards Jesse and the young doctor was half tempted to bolt and pretend she didn't see her but rudeness was definitely not a character trait for her so she plastered a smile on her face and let the woman come to her.

"Well if it isn't the good doctor." Gemma adjusted the strap of her handbag before raising her hand. "We haven't been formally introduced. I was kind of in a hurry the last time we met. Gemma. Teller."

She was trying obviously to make her uncomfortable and Jesse chose to ignore that face choosing itead to take the hand she was offered. She wasn't surprised by Gemma's firm handshake. "Jesse Granger."

Gemma titled her head towards where Hale had disappeared. "I didn't realise you were acquainted with Charming finest." The look on her face would not have been any different if she'd just caught her and Hale doing it on the floor.

Jesse pursed her lips "We're friends."

Gemma put a hand on her hips as if to emphasize a point. "You know, you sure seem to have a lot of friends for someone who just moved to town." she remarked with a smirk.

Whoever that woman was, Jesse didn't like the insinuations in her tone. As far as she had gathered, the older woman didn't have any love lost for Jax's ex-wife, so this wasn't a case of loyalty towards her daughter in law. And regardless, Jesse was starting to feel like she was being interrogated and she didn't like it one bit. She decided it was time to go. "I'm sorry to be rude, but I have to get going."

"It's okay, I'm sure I'll be seeing you around."

Jesse allowed herself a strained smile before hurrying to the till to pay more than ever, looking forward to a warm bath.

* * *

><p>Jax looked at his father's journal lovingly. <em>Wish you'd left a road map with this, old man<em>. He thought to himself. He had read the book so many times, he knew some passages by heart. Yet he still didn't know what he was supposed to do with it, or if he even was supposed to do something. He let out a sigh and dropped the manuscript in a cardboard box, closed and taping it shut.

He was packing up his dorm room to move back into his house. Between rehab and court ordered sober living, Wendy wouldn't be back in Charming for at least six months, if ever. She had promised to stray clear of his life, but he had yet to see his ex-wife keep a promise so anything was possible.

Jax heard loud footsteps coming down the corridor and turned around to see Opie at the threshold of the apartment. He felt like he hadn't spoken to his best friend in ages. They saw each other every day but they hadn't really talked since that night on the roof where Jax had lost his temper. He had apologizes afterwards but with all the shit going on they hadn't really touched base since.

"So you're moving back to the house?"

Jax nodded "Yeah. You know, with Wendy gone, it makes sense."

Opie took out his pack of cigarettes from his cut, before offering one to Jax.

"Thanks" Jax said before catching the smoke in flight and lighting it.

"Need any help?" the big man asked in his deep voice.

Jax took a deep drag from the cigarette before responding. "Nah, I'm having the prospect do it."

"You've been riding him hard this week."

_And I'm not done with him yet. _That was all that knucklehead deserved after leading Gemma straight to Jesse's house after he explicitly told him to keep his mouth shut. "You're worried about how hard I ride prospects now?" he asked with a smile.

"Nah. Just trying to figure out where your head is at man, that's all. Haven't seen you act like this since… she left."

Jax couldn't help but notice Opie wouldn't say her name. Since she had gone it was like this big taboo no one talked about and whose name should never be mentioned again or else " You can say her name Opie." He said with a smile. "You know, you sound like Gemma, right? This isn't about Tara, man. She did what she had to do. I'm done with her, she's moved on, so have I."

Opie flashed him a knowing grin. "I _know_. You really think that your mum ripping you a new one in front of a new chick would stay a secret?"

"I'm going to kill that little shithead."

"It wasn't him man. Gemma told Clay and I heard Clay talking about it Bobby"

" Jesus Christ man, you guys are worst than chicks."

Opie chuckled. "So you're going to tell me who she is or should I ask the prospect to show me her house."

"You're a dick." Jax stated matter of factly, trying hard to suppress a smile. Heconsidered his friend for a moment before he started talking. "Her name is Jess. She works at the hospital. Actually, she was Wendy's doctor."

"Sounds awkward."

"You think?" Jax sniggered "Between Gemma showing up at her doorstep and my junkie ex-wife OD'ing, I'm surprised she hasn't moved to another town by now. "

Jax stood up, reaching for the ashtray that was resting on the dresser. He crushed his cigarette and brought the ashtray to Opie so he could do the same.

"So what's the problem?"

_Where to even begin?_ "I don't know man." Jax sighted. "She's got issues. Like a lot of issues. And maybe it's stupid you know, trying to bring in an outsider in this life?"

"Who's sounding like Gemma now?" Opie mocked, throwing back Jax's words to him.

Jax shrugged. "She was right about Tara."

"Jax, Tara? She was looking for something that wasn't in Charming. It didn't have anything to do with the club. Or even you for that matter. You can't keep comparing every chick you meet to her. I'll tell you what you told me when I met Donna and _she_ was having a hard time with this whole club thing. If she loves you, she'll learn to love the club."

Jax had a sad smile as he reminisced. "My old man told me that."

"He was a smart man, your old man."

_That he was. _He looked at Opie and thought about his father's journal. If anyone could help him try and makes sense of it, it would be his best friend. Opie had known and loved John Teller like his own father. Maybe it was time for Jax to share his father's writing with someone else. He opened his mouth to speak but his phone rang. He checked the caller ID and looked back at his friend who just smiled. "Go get your girl asshole."

Jax sniggered as he picked up the call.

* * *

><p>Jesse cringed and removed her shirt with a frustrated groan. After getting home, she had taken a long hot bath and tried to empty her mind before it really went into overdrive. She had accepted that nothing good was going to come out of this shitty day and she just wanted it to be over. She had every intention of getting some food in her stomach and going straight to bed. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day. She had gotten out of the bath and after drying up her body, she had wrapped her damp hair into a towel and put on her pair of old pjs, planning to hang out on the couch for a nit before heading to bed. She looked around for the remote and found a notepad by the couch. She had recognized straight away, it was the journal Jax had been looking for this afternoon. She knew it meant a lot to him. He didn't have to tell her, she had seen it when she had found him jotting down his thoughts the other morning.<p>

She had agonized for a few minutes about what to do, trying to guess what the best strategy was. Should she ask him to come by the hospital tomorrow to pick it up? Should she drop by the garage to give it to him? In the end, she realised that she didn't want to run the risk of hearing another sermon from Margaret just as much as she didn't want another unfortunate run in with Gemma teller, so she looked for her phone in her hand bag and called Jax. And that was why she was now, acting like a lovesick teenager, scrambling around to get dressed before he showed up. In the end, she settled for an oversized tee-shirt from the New York fire brigade that had belonged to her brother and black leggings. Her face was void of any make up and her hair was now dry and her hair was gathered in a messy bun over her head as usual. She felt ridiculous for being so nervous but she couldn't help it.

The door bell finally rang and after a last cursory look into the mirror, she hurried to the front door. She opened it and he was standing there, sexy as hell with his long hair, smooth skin, and those mesmerizing blue eyes. He gazed at her longingly.

"Hi." She greeted as she stepped aside to let him in. "Come in."

He took a few steps in the house but didn't get any further. She hesitated a second before closing the door and she walked to the kitchen island to retrieve the journal. "Here." She said as she held out the notepad to him. "I didn't read it."

He closed his hand on the notepad but he didn't take it straight away. "I didn't think you did."

They let an uncomfortable silence float between them for a beat, each waiting for the other to say something. In the end, it was Jax who spoke. "I should get back."

As he turned to leave, Jesse realised she needed to say what was on her mind. "I don't want things to be like this with you Jax. I just… I don't know how to fix it."

He sighted. "Maybe you can't."

"Look, I know you don't understand me."

"You're right. I don't." he started his tone becoming more passionate "Because you won't let me! You want to be mad at me because I wasn't honest with you? Fine. But that makes you a fucking hypocrite."

She felt as if she had been slapped. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

She shook her head in disbelief. "This was a mistake. You should probably go." She took a step towards the door but he got there first blocking her from opening it.

"Don't do that! Don't dismiss me because the conversation is getting a little too uncomfortable for you. "

"I'm not! I'm sorry if your ego is getting bruised Jax. But this is my house and I'm asking you to leave."

He cackled as if he had been expecting her reaction. "As usual, you're running scared. You've been running scared since the day I met you. Every time things get too personal, you just close up and find an excuse to bolt." He bent down a little to be eye level with her. "Even when I was inside you, you didn't let me see you Jesse. You were still holding back. You're not mad because I didn't tell you about Wendy, you're mad because you got this close to letting your guard down. And it scares the shit out of you. I just don't understand why.

"Because of you! You scare me that much! You make me want things I shouldn't want. "She wagged a finger at him and snorted. "You know today has been this revolving door of people telling me what I should or shouldn't do. Be with you or not. And I guess it's my fault, you know, I let people do that, I shouldn't give a shit about what other people want right?

He stood there staring at her, waiting for her to continue. She took a deep breath wondering if she was going to step over the line but suddenly she didn't carte anymore "Hale asked me out."

She had expected a reaction but she hadn't been expecting that. She watched as his whole body stiffened and his eyes became steel. He closed his fists until the knuckles became almost as white as his trainers. His jaw was set as he spoke again. "Maybe you should. Maybe he's right for you. Simple. That's what you wanted right? He seethed.

"You're right, I should want that. He's a nice guy! He doesn't have a junkie ex-wife, and a mother who hates me!" she yelled. "I like Hale and like you said he makes this a whole lot simpler." She paused for a moment and a sad smile crept up her face. "And then there's you. And you… you just…you complicate everything. But the real kicker? It's that Hale doesn't make me change four times before he shows up, he doesn't make it impossible for me to sleep at night, he doesn't make me feel things I never even knew I could feel Jax. You do. I _should_ want Hale, Jax but I don't. I want you."

As she spoke, she had gotten closer to Jax and she was now standing barely inches from him. She put her hand on his chest before repeating. "I want you."

"Jesse."

Before he could say another word, she kissed him. He had always been the instigator of their kisses, but she was clearly taking charge this time, teasing him with her tongue, gripping his hair with her hand, the other one tightly holding hi. He let her take possession of his mouth for a moment until she pulled away.

She slid her hand on his shoulders and freed him from his cut, letting it rest against a chair, before she gripped the hem of his tee shirt and pulled it up. She caressed his chest with her hand as he shut his eyes relishing the feel of her fingers on his skin.

"Jax."

He opened his eyes.

"I want you."

He cupped her face in his hands and took her mouth aggressively. He was hungry for her, hungry to taste her again. He slid his hands beneath her thighs and lifted her up as she crossed her legs around his chest. He took the few steps towards the dining table and pulled her down, his mouth never leaving hers. He hurriedly lifted her tee shirt and realised she wasn't wearing a bra. "Oh baby, you're so beautiful." He murmured as he ran his finger towards her breasts. She let out a small moan of pleasure as he fondled her tenderly. Gazing into his beautiful blue eyes, she reached for his belt and unbuckled his jeans, sliding her hand inside. "Fuck Jesse."

In a swift move, he removed her leggings and panties. She was gloriously naked in front of him and she was dashing. She let him look at her for a long beat" I missed you baby."

Hearing those words in her mouth just drove him crazy. His mouth found hers again, his tongue melting with hers passionately as he teased her core with his fingers. She pushed her hands in his jeans again, this time on his ass and slid his jeans down. She could feel how hard he was for her and she knew she needed him inside her right away. She pulled away from the kiss and took his cock in her hands as he groaned in pleasure. She slowly guided him into her, spreading her legs to give him better access. "Oh, Jax."

"Shit baby. This is so good." He whispered as he licked her neck.

"I want to feel you deeper Jax."She locked her legs behind his thighs and pushed on his ass with her hand for him to go deeper inside of her and let out a cry as he seemed to accelerate his movements, pushing into her at a regular rhythm now. "Yes, baby, yes."

Jax continue to thrust deeply into her, his mouth on her breasts sucking and nipping, as she moaned his name. She dug her fingers into his back and cried out letting him know she was getting close. As the pressure was beginning to be too much, he pumped harder into her and he felt er reaching the tipping point.

"Jax!" she whimpered as she came and buried her face in his neck Jax continued moving harder, groaning as he gave a last hard thrust, reaching his own climax.

**Hope you enjoyed this! As usual, I love all feedback!**


	13. Lose yourself

**Thank you again for all the favs and follows, thanks to Nikki9325, msgemgem and the mysterious guest for your reviews of the previous chapter!**

**Chapter XIII – Lose yourself**

Jax stirred in the bed and realised he was alone in it. He bent over to check the alarm clock on the other side of the bed and realised it was only 2 a.m. He rolled on his back, staring at the ceiling, replaying the events of the night in his mind. He had thought he had lost her. When she had told him that what had happened between them was a mistake, he had thought it was the end of it. He'd spent the next few nights unable to get his mind off her, which didn't go unnoticed within the club. Most had put it on the account of what happened to Wendy but Opie had seen right through it. When she'd called him to come pick up his journal, he had refused to get his hopes up and went to her place not knowing what to expect and she had completely taken him by surprise. He had gone completely cold when she told him about Hale asking her out. He had seen images of Hale being with her, touching her, kissing her, flash in front of his eyes and felt rage he hadn't felt before burn in the pit of his stomach. But then she'd admitted to wanting to be with him and he'd felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders. She_ was_ his.

After that, he had loved letting her have control of the situation, showing him what she wanted, telling him what she wanted. Just thinking about being inside her, taking her on the dining table, he felt his dick tingle.

_He rested his forehead on hers. "God, I missed you Jesse."_

_She ran her hand over his chest, kissing it, licking it. "I missed you too" she murmured as she slid her hand down his body, reaching for his dick feeling it harden as soon as she touched it."I'm not done missing you."_

_He closed his eyes enjoying of her hand on him, teasing him, making him ache for her. "Shit, Jesse."_

"_Take me to bed, Jax Teller."_

_He opened his eyes and grinned at her. "All you had to do is ask doll." _

_He put his hand under her ass and lifted her up. She locked her legs around his waist and kissed him, never letting go of his mouth. He walked her to the bedroom, cautiously putting her down the bed, but instead of lying down on her, he remained where he was just watching her. She was beautiful yes, but there was something different about her, something he hadn't seen before. When they'd slept together the first time, he could tell that she was having an internal debate, questioning every move she made. He had told her that she didn't let him see her and now he felt like he finally was. And he loved what he saw. He kneeled on the bed and ran his hands up her legs very slowly. She closed her eyes and arched her back. "Jax."_

_He stopped. "Open your eyes Jesse. I want you to look at me."_

_She did as told and he resumed his exploration, almost coming to a halt on her hips as he bent down and kissed her right below her belly button above her pubic bone. He saw her grip the covers and grinned as he brushed his tongue on her stomach as his hands reached up to her breasts and teased her nipples. Her breath got ragged and she flinched with pleasure. "Jax," she repeated again, letting go of the sheets and gripping her hair instead. _

_He loved the effect he was having on her. She certainly was having an effect on him, he was rock hard and wanted her so badly. But he wanted her to make her come He propped himself up, so he could see her and leaving a hand on her breast, he slid his right hand down her body until he reached her core. She was dripping. He slid a finger between her folds locating her clit, and started teasing her, slowly at first and then picking up speed."Please, Jax. I want to feel you. Please." _

_He wanted to feel her too but he wasn't done, he wanted to see her let go completely and lose control. He moved his fingers down sliding one inside her as he heard her take a deep breath in. She was so tight, it was a huge effort for him to ignore the urge to just push his cock inside her and slam into her. After a few seconds, he felt her move against his hand and knew he had her. He put another finger in and decided to accelerate things. He took his left hand off her breast and caressed her clit while his fingers thrust inside of her. She was now repeating his name like a mantra and he loved it. He knew he would need to be inside her soon if he didn't want to come right there. _

"_Come for me Jesse." He asked and as if on cue, he felt her walls closing in on his fingers and she cried out her orgasm._

_He ran his lips on her stomach again and made his way up her collarbone, reaching her jaw, before teasing her ear. _

"_You okay baby."_

"_I want you inside of me Jax. I want you to feel all of you."_

_He didn't need to be asked twice._

Afterwards, they had ordered some food and hopped into the shower together. Something Jax loved. They didn't have sex which made it even more special for him. Once the food had arrived, they'd eaten, neither of them saying much before washing up the dishes and going back to bed. He didn't do this kind of shit. It felt very domestic. But with her, everything seemed different. It felt natural, it felt right.

The last thing he remembered was falling asleep with her head resting on his chest, thinking he never wanted to fall asleep without her again. Sometime since then, she had woken up and left the bed, and he wanted to know why. He got off the bed, and realised she had brought his clothes from the living room and put them on the chair near the bed. He put on his boxers and went in search for her. She was sitting at the dining table, sipping some tea. She was wearing her oversized football tee-shirt but no legging this time, her foot folded under her. She heard him coming and turned around. "Hey, hope I didn't wake you."

"You okay?"

She nodded and he kissed her forehead before taking a seat next to her, moving her chair so that she was facing him.

"Made some tea if you want some."

He gave her a pointed look grinning. "I'm not the tea drinking type."

She smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"You want to talk about it babe?"

She nodded again and took a deep breath. "You were right Jax. I wasn't honest with you. There are a lot of things about me, about my past, that you don't know."

"I know. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. But if we want this thing to work…

"I know" She interrupted. " I just… I worked so hard to forget about it, to act like it never happened, at some point it started controlling my whole life. And I'm not sure how to stop it."

He cupped her face in his hands forcing her to look at him "Jesse, look at me. I know someone really hurt you in the past. And whoever it was I promise you, he's never gonna hurt you again."

"I know he won't." she replied with a conviction he rarely heard in her voice. "It wasn't just someone Jax. He was my husband. He took vows to love and cherish me til death do us part. And then he beat me for the best part of our three year marriage. He made me feel small and worthless and weak. I was terrified all the time. And when it finally ended, when it was finally over I swore I'd never let anyone make me feel like that again."

Jax gritted his teeth, careful not to say anything that might be wrongly interpretated, not to do anything that would scare her. But hearing her words, confirming his worst fears, he felt enraged. He laced his fingers in hers and risked a question. "Where is he now?"

"Dead. That's how I got out."

_Good, he thought. I only wish I could send him to hell a second time."_ I would never lay a hand on you. I'd never hurt you like that. You have to know that." He hoped she heard the truth behind his words.

She sniggered. "The way I feel when I'm with you Jax, I've never felt that way about anyone. Not even him. You could hurt me so much more and that's scares me more than anything."

That sounded familiar. The fear in his gut when he thought he'd lost her, the way he pursued something with her even when he knew he should just let go, the sensations he felt pleasuring her in bed. It was all things he never felt before, things he didn't think he could feel. "I know. Because I feel the same way."

"Jax, this is crazy. I barely know you and…I think…I think I'm falling in love with you." She winced as she said it, burying her face in her hands. "God, I know how corny this sounds."

Hearing the words coming out of her mouth, he knew they were as true for him as they were for her. He let out a small laugh and she moved her hands, surprised by his reaction. "If you're crazy, then so am I Jesse. Because I'm pretty sure I'm already in love with you."

As what he had just said sunk in, a smile crept up her face. "I guess that makes us both crazy people."

He took her hand and pulled on it, making her stand up. He ran his hand on her thighs letting them disappear under her tee shirt until he reached her bare ass and he felt his cock instantly react to her nakedness. He pushed on her bottom to get her to sit on him but she put a hand on his chest and looked at him with playful eyes. "You have your fun, Teller. It's my turn now."

She kissed him deeply, teasing him with her tongue living him panting for more as she kissed the side of his jaw, making her way to his collarbone. He laughed as he realised she was taking the exact path he had taken with her body earlier expect she was heading down. She moved to his throat kissing her way down to his navel before kneeling in front of him. He ran his hand through her hair, feeling himself harden. She kissed his thigh and he barely heard her when she asked" Do you want me Jax?"

He swallowed hard, his fingers closing tighter into her hair. "You have no idea how much."

She looked up at him and they gazed into each other's eyes for a moment and she circled his cock with her fingers running her hand across his length before taking him into her mouth.

"Shit Jesse."

She stopped halfway, went back up rolled her tongue, playing with his tip, teasing as much as he could before taking him fully again. He let her hair go and gripped the side of the chair until his knuckles were white as she continued the rhythmic movement of her mouth on his dick. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold much longer so he wrapped his hand around her shoulder and pulled her up. She did a sly smile on her face before taking off her tee shirt. But instead of sitting down, she turned her back to him and_ then _sat down taking his whole length inside of her. She arched her back, resting her head in the crook of his neck as he slowly started moving. He wrapped one hand around her waist and descended on her pussy with the other, finding her clit, pinching it caressing it as he gradually increased his cadence. She straightened up ready to feel more of him. "Fuck me, Jax. Please."

Hearing those words in her mouth made him lose it, not letting go of her clit he bent her slightly forward giving him a better angle to thrust into her. As her cries gained in intensity and he felt her close, he let go of her pussy and gripped her hips slamming into her. He felt her come, and with her more deep push, he felt her pussy close on him again, milking him entirely.

**Lots of couple fluffy time, I know but I really felt like those two deserved a bit of us time before facing the craziness that is to come. As always hope you enjoyed and looking forward to read your thoughts!**


	14. Trouble will find me

_Thanks for everyone who's been reading, reviewing and following this story! _

_I lost the inspiration for a moment and concentrated on some of my other stories but here's the new chapter and I hope you enjoy!_

**Chapter XIV – Trouble will find me.**

Jesse tightened her grip on Jax as they rode the last few yards towards the hospital. It had been a week since they'd admitted their feelings to each other and as high school girl as it sounded, Jesse had been on cloud 9 since. He had spent every night at her house as they talked, ate, and had a lot of amazing sex. Her sex life had been non existent the last couple of years and before that, although it had been satisfying, it had never quite had that raw passion that seemed to be every sexual relationship on TV. She hadn't wanted to believe the melting of two bodies together in perfect symbioses existed. But she had to admit that nights with Jax had been just that. Sometimes it was tender and loving, sometimes it was just the overpowering need to feel the other one but it always left her craving for more.

There were other things too. The talks were always intense and animated. They didn't agree on much, but they agreed on the important things, although she would probably never get over his dislike for asian food. They had avoided bring up her past again. She had only given him a glimpse of her past and she wasn't ready for more. She wasn't sure she'd ever be able to share that truth and he hadn't asked which she was graetful for. He also took her for rides. She had never been a fan of motorcycles having seen first hand the dangerous consequences they could have but holding onto Jax on the open roads, as he rode at eighty miles an hour had a liberating effect. She had liked it so much that when he'd offered to give her a ride to and from work last night, she'd immediately said yes.

Jax had quickly become a permanent fixture in her life, but for the first time in a long time, Jesse didn't feel scared. She didn't feel that things were moving too fast. Instead, she was constantly in need of him. She wanted to see him all the time, be with him, hear from him. Gee, she sounded corny but it was what it felt like.

He finally pulled onto the parking lot and waited for her to dismount before pulling her towards him for a kiss. "I'll see you tonight?"

She feigned to think about it. "Maybe. Don't think I have anything better planned."

"You better not."

She kinked an eyebrow, challenging him "Yeah?"

"Because I'm coming baby, whether you want it or not."

"oh, you sweet talker you."

He grinned and she fully realised the effect that grin had on her as she wanted nothing more than ride back to her place and spend the day in bed with him.

He captured her mouth in his again, his hand sliding to the small of her back and finding its way below her shirt as she giggle, pulling away. She looked around, making sure no one was looking at them and her eyes met Margaret Murphy's. Her smile faltered. She had been avoiding the woman ever since their last conversation, and had gotten quite good at it. At least until now.

"You alright?" he enquired following her gaze until he saw the chief administrator eying them.

"Hum, yeah." She smiled, focusing her attention back to him. "Just feel like I'm in high school and the principal just caught me and my boyfriend having sex."

He flashed a grin that rivaled the Cheshire cat's. "Yeah, I know the feeling."

"Really? Why doesn't _that_ surprise me?"

"What can I say? They all wanted me in high school." He chuckled.

She captured his face between her fingers. "Yeah, I'm sure that devious grin has bought you a ticket into more than one bed, Jax Teller.."

He bore his eyes into hers making sure she understood. "Only one bed I'm interested in right now, babe."

"Good. I have to go though before I miss my rounds. See you tonight." She parted with a quick peck on the lips before walking into the hospital.

* * *

><p>Jax pulled onto TM's parking lot and got off his bike. As he took off his helmet, he heard wolfs whistles and applauds coming from the garage. Looking up, he saw Opie and Chibs, flashing him shit eating grins.<p>

"Hey brother, you move in with her yet?" Opie called out with a smile.

"Fuck you."

"Ay, when are we meeting that lovely lady?"

"I ain't bringing her within a mile from you suckers."

He saw something in the corner of his eye and turned around to see his mother staring at him from the officewith an expression he knew all too well. She walked back inside and after letting out a deep breath, he decided it was time for a serious conversation with his mother and went after her.

"Hey."

She looked up from her reading glasses before reverting her attention back to her typing. Or at least, pretending to. "Hey. I came by your house last night. You weren't there. "

He glared at her, daring her to say more.

"Don't look at me like that. I was bringing over new sheets. Since you weren't home and I know you weren't here, I'm going to presume you were with her?"

He sniggered."Yeah, I was."

"You too sure are spending a lot of time together."

"If you've got something to say mum, just say it. Don't play mind games."

This time, she stopped typing and removed her glasses. Rolling in her chair to face him, she flashed him one of those fake smiles which had the ability to piss him off in an instant. "I'm not playing any games. I'm just trying to understand what's going on here Jax. You want to see an outsider, someone who doesn't understand this life, fine, but it looks to me like you're moving a little fast. Jesus, it's barely been what? A week? And you two are practically playing house. Excuse me for being a little concerned."

He just shook his head dismissively as he cackled "You're just pissed off because she didn't let you run all over her. Yeah, she told me about bumping into you at Harry's the other day."

"She told on me? She also told you who she was flirting with?"

He had heard enough. He wouldn't let his mother or anyone else trash talk Jesse. She was way too good for that. "Knock it off mum! Look, I heard you loud and clear. You're concerned. But _you_ need to hear me now and put that through your head. Jesse is going to be in my life. She's not going to make me lose focus, she's not going to change me but she is going to be in my life. So you have to accept it and back the hell off."

She raised a challenging eyebrow at him. "If I don't?"

"_She'_s not going anywhere, mum." There was no mistaking the threat in his voice. He was making it clear to her that Jesse was more than just some pussy he was dipping in.

"Jesus Christ, you're in love with her, aren't you?"

He didn't respond to that but she didn't need him too. She knew. That stupid dick had let himself fall for her.

"Tell you what. Why don't you bring her over for dinner on Sunday. Just the inner circle."

"If this is another mind game…"

"It's not. But if she wants to be in your life she's gonna have to learn to deal with the club, right?"

As much as he hated to admit it, Jax knew his mother was right. But he hadn't forgotten how he'd met or why and the idea of having her so close to the club made him nervous. It seemed like a lot of plates to spin at the same time.

But when he'd pursued her, when he'd pursued a relationship with her, he'd known that this would have to happenat some point. He just needed to make sure he controlled the conversation so that the club and Jesse never put two and two together. He knew he could talk his way through it with the club and that Jesse would follow his lead but when it came to his mother, she was always the big unknown in the equation.

* * *

><p>Jesse had just finished her rounds, when her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and couldn't help the smile that crept up her face when she recognized the name. "Hey you, everything okay?" It had been barely an hour since he'd left her on the parking lot and he wasn't exactly the kind who called just to call.<p>

"Yeah, I just wanted to ask you to leave your options open on Sunday night."

"That sounds awfully mysterious." She playfully replied as she approached the nurses station.

"You promise not to freak out?"

Alarm bells immediately rang in her ears. "Why would I freak out?"

He took a deep breath."My mother wants you to come for diner on Sunday. Along with the club."

"Are you serious? The woman hates me."

"She doesn't hate you, she's just…doesn't know her boundaries."

"She doesn't have boundaries, Jax."

"Please."

As she heard the pleading smile in his voice, she felt her resolve never to be in the same room as Gemma rumble. She rolled her eyes as she gave in. "Of course. I'll come, I'll smile, I'll even make conversation."

"Thank you."

"But I will not let her insult me Jax. Or us."

As she said his name, she saw Margaret raise her eyes to her before walking away and Jesse felt anger brew in the pit of her stomach.

"I wouldn't expect you to. I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah, you too."

The idea of spending an evening at Gemma Teller's house filled her with dread but as they say if you want the son in your life, you have to deal with the mother from time to time. Like she told Jax, she would go and be polite, helpful and the ever perfect guest. But she would not let Gemma push her around. She took a deep breath as she decided that there was another woman she wouldn't let march all over her. She stomped down the corridor and knocked at the Chief Administrator's doors. When she heard a muffle response, she let herself in.

Putting on her best smile, she politely asked. "Hi, do you have a moment? There's something I'd like to discuss with you."

Margaret smiled through pursed lips as she gestured to the chair facing her desk. "Please, have a seat."

"That won't be necessary, thanks. I'll be quick. I know I'm new here and I know I have a lot to learn. I do appreciate you trying to help me and I appreciate your advice. I really do. I understand why you felt that you had to warn me off and I respect that. But now here's what _you_ need to respect. Who I see or not outside of this hospital is my business and mine alone. You might not like it, you might not approve of it, but you don't get to comment on it or give me the kind of look you just did at the nurses' station. I'm an adult, I'm a doctor in this hospital and I do not need you or anyone else passing judgment on my personal life. And I would appreciate it, if going forward, you kept my private life out of our conversations."

She could tell Margaret did not appreciate being talked to like that but Jesse had made sure she stayed polite and did not cross any line, so she could be as unhappy as she wanted, there was nothing she could do about it. "Very well."

"Thank you. I have to get back to work now." Jesse said with a triumphant smile as she exited the office.

Hale was typing a report in his office trying to keep from nodding off. This was the part of the job he wasn't fond of. The admin.. This wasn't what he'd signed up for. He wanted to be out there, doing what he could to protect the good people of Charming, not typing reports Unser couldn't be bothered to write himself. He sipped his coffee and winced as the dark liquid coursed through his throat. He had been so busy all morning, he hadn't even noticed his coffee had gotten cold. But Unser was getting a round of chemo and he had asked him to tidy things up while he was gone. _Whatever that meant._ His thoughts were interrupted by a light knock on the door.

"Come in."

The door opened and the young officer who was in charge of manning the front desk popped his head in. "Deputy Chief, there's someone here looking for Chief Unser."

"Who?"

"She said her name was agent Stahl."

A federal agent looking for Unser could only mean one thing. The Sons had raised an alarm somewhere and the fact that Unser was out for the day undergoing treatment for his cancer was a chance for Hale.

"Send her in."

A few seconds later, a tall blond woman in her early forties entered his office.

"Deputy? Agent June Stahl, ATF. " She said as she extended her hand to him. "I'm told your chief is unavailable."

"He is. He'll probably be out all day." That was a lie but Hale wanted to know what was behind the woman's visit. ATF didn't just drop by. If she was here, she was onto something and Hale could only hope it was the Sons. "In the mean time you can talk to me. What can I do for you?"

She looked at him sizing him up, as if to decide whether he could handle it. "Frank Donowitz. He was murdered a few weeks ago."

"I know. "

"You closed the case quite quickly. Did you have any suspects?"

"Why do I get the feeling you already know the answer to this question?" he replied with a smirk.

She smiled conceding. "You're right. I know that your prime suspects were the Sons of Anarchy. From what I understand, that motorcycle club has been a real pain in your backside for the last… twenty odd years."

He decided to ignore the dig. "So why exactly is ATF interested in Frank Donowitz?"

"Oh, I don't give a rats ass about Donowitz. He was a sick son of a bitch who liked to rape and beat women for kicks. The world is a much better place without him in it." She stated matter of factly.

"Then why are you so interested in my investigation?"

"The Sons."

"I didn't know the sons were on ATF radar."

"They're not. We usually leave the small fish to the local police. Although in this particular case, they seem to be experts at evading you." She smirked. "No, what I'm really interested in is their gun pipeline. The true IRA . The Irish kings provide the sons with enough guns to keep the gang warfare in Northern Cali going until the end of times. Now I need _your_ help to put a stop to it."

Hale gave her a confused look, "I'm not sure of how I can help you with that. Like you said, the Sons have been in this town for a long time. We have never been able to link the Sons of Anarchy to gun running."

She shook her head vigorously. "You don't have to. All I need, is proof the Sons are involved in a criminal enterprise. And we can put a stop to their reign over your town. "

"RICO? You're planning to go after the club with RICO?"

She flashed him a knowing smile "If we can tie them to the murder of Frank Donowitz..."

"We can say goodbye to Clay Morrow and his posse."

Hale thought about what Stahl had just told him for a moment. Ever since he could remember, the Sons had had their thumbs over this town and his one wish had always been to put a stop to it. Today he had the opportunity to do that. He stood up and walked to his office door. "There's something you need to know." He started closing the door.

_So I know this was more of a set up chapter for what's coming but I hope you still enjoyed the smackdown. More of that where it came from I'm sure! Please review if you feel like it!_


	15. Some people have real problems

**- CHAPTER XV -**

**Some people have real problems**

Jesse walked out of the operating room with a smile on her face. Today had been a great day. She had saved the life of a forty year old father of two who suffered a heart attack in front of his terrified family. They'd spent hours in the surgery fighting for him to stay alive, to make sure his children kept their father. Seeing the relief on their face when she told them their father was alive and that he would likely make a full recovery made it all worth it. It reminded her of why she had chosen this line of work in the first place. Changing people's lives. And now, with Jax, she was also changing hers. After years of living through a fog, her life was finally falling into place and she knew he was to thank for that. The irony was that for years she had been afraid that letting anyone in would make her weaker, vulnerable. It was the opposite. She felt stronger somehow. Almost like her old self. Before it all came crashing down. Refusing to let her mind lead her to dark thoughts, she shook her head and marched on, heading to the nurses station.

Janine looked up from a computer and flashed her a smile. "You look like a woman on a mission."

"Actually, I'm a woman who can't wait to get home after an eight hour long surgery."

"Heard about Pat Buchanan surgery. Good work."

Jesse looked down slightly embarrassed. She wasn't really good at handling compliments. Probably because they used to come with a price. "Thanks. Now I just need to finish up those charts and I'm heading home."

"Plans with a certain blond biker?" the nurse teased.

Jesse couldn't help but beam as she answered. "As a matter of fact, yes."

"Looks like things are getting serious between the two of you."

Jesse sniggered as she signed her chart and held it up for Janine. "You have no idea. I have been invited for dinner at mommy's dearest house tomorrow night."

"Wow. _You _are going to dinner at Gemma Teller's?" the nurse laughed as she took the charts from her friend.

"Trust me, not by choice. The woman gives me the chills."

"Yeah, you and half this town."

Jesse bent down and whispered conspiratorially "I have been raking my brain to find something to bring. So far I came up with a crucifix and a broom."

Janine matched her friends tone with a smile. " I'd stick to wine and flowers. "

"You're probably right." She laughed. "Good night Janine."

"You too. Have fun tomorrow, and remember I want to hear all about it on Monday!"

Jesse waved at her and walked into her office to change. She was being flippant about it but the truth was that the very idea of dinner at Gemma Teller's house had her stomach in knots. As much as Jax had tried to downplay it, she already knew that Gemma didn't like her or at least the idea of her. From what she understood, her relationship with his exes had always been strained at best and Jesse could definitely see why. It was one thing she liked about Jax. He didn't try to impose his world on her but he did try to make her understand it. He already told her about the other club members, those men he trusted with his life describing them as his brothers. He also opened up about his father and brother, the pain of their loss and the gaping hole they left in his life. Jesse sometimes felt guilty that she could not be as open as he was being but she knew how much of a risk it would be. She just hoped that someday she could.

As she slid her jacket on, she heart a faint knock on the door. "Come in!"

The door opened and she was surprised when she saw David Hale sheepishly standing on the other side.

"Jesse?"

"David, hi." She greeted genuinely happy to see him. "I can still call you David right?"

"Of course."

"It's been a while. I was starting to think you were avoiding me."

He chuckled softly. "No, nothing like that. It's just... It's been a busy couple of weeks."

"Well it's good to see you." She said, sincere before continuing. "So what brings you here?"

"You actually. " He pointed to her jacket."Are you on your way out?"

"I was, but you can walk with me. Let me just lock up."

She shut the door behind them and they walked to the elevator.

"What's going on, David?"

"I know tomorrow is Sunday but I need you to come down to the station tomorrow morning."

She suddenly felt on alert. "Why?"

"Nothing big. There's just been some development in the case. We're taking a new approach and we need to ask you some more questions, make sure we've covered everything."

The last thing Jesse wanted was to dredge up memories of that night. She had hoped this was done and over with. She was finally moving on and the thought of going back there filled her with dread. She swallowed hard. "I thought you closed the investigation."

"Charming Police did, but the case is still open and the ATF is looking into it."

He had said it evenly, no putting any weight behind the word, but the very sound of it made Jesse freeze. The feds were involved. This wasn't good. It wasn't good at all. Before she could stop herself, she blurted "The ATF? Why is the ATF looking into a murder case?"?"

Hale was slightly surprised at her knowledge on federal agencies remit. It wasn't exactly unusual but most people couldn't make the difference between FBI, ATF or DEA. "I can't really say more but I promise you we'll make it very quick. It won't take more than an hour." He insisted with a smile.

"Hum, okay, sure. What time?"

"9 am?"

"Yeah, I… I'll be there"

"Thanks." He turned to leave and thought better of it, gently touching her arm. "Jesse, are you okay? You're looking very pale." He questioned, his voice betraying concern.

Jesse forced a smile. "Yeah, no I'm fine, I just haven't eaten anything all day. I should probably get home and have some dinner. Was there anything else?"

"No, I need to head back too. See you tomorrow."

Again, she forced a smile and waved at him before making her way to her car. She rummaged through her pockets, dropped her keys to the ground. Bending to pick them up, she forced herself to take a deep breath and try to regain some self control. _You're overreacting. Just breathe and don't panic, _she told herself. _He doesn't know anything. No one does._

* * *

><p>Jax put his cigarette on the ashtray and bend to assess the damage on the bike he was working on. The owner, an arrogant douche had brought it in earlier and insisted for it to be thoroughly checked by the end of the day regardless of the price. He was just another asshole who had no business owning a bike but who thought it made him a man. Jax made a mental note to tell Gemma to charge the maximum. He looked up and saw Clay making his way towards him. "Hey, you mind handing me the wrench behind you?"<p>

Clay handed him the tool and took out a cigar. "Nice ride."

"Tell me about it. Owner is some douche who probably doesn't even know how to drive it properly."

"Shame. She's a beauty."

He sucked on his cigar for a moment before breaking the silence. "So Gemma said you're bringing the girl to dinner tomorrow night."

Jax had to snigger at his step father attempt to make casual conversation. "Her name is Jesse. "

"So you're bringing Jesse to dinner." Clay corrected with a smirk.

"Yeah, I am."

Another silence which made Jax sigh. He was used to his step father's methods by now. Always stay in control of the conversation, set the pace, and throw in some dark humor. It was the Clay Morrow way. "You sure that's a good idea?"

"You saying it's not?"

"Actually, I think it's good. If she is going to be involved with you, the guys need to meet her, and she needs to meet the guys."

Jax nodded, serious. "And Gemma?"

"Oh, that's a whole different story son. " the old man replied with a chuckle. "You do know, that when she's in, she's in. You need to be able to trust her. This club needs to know they can trust her."

Before Jax could muster a response, Chibs walked in interrupting the conversation. "Boys, we got company." He sang in his Scottish brogue.

Jax and Clay looked up at once, their eyes darting to the black sedan that had just pulled into the parking lot. The doors opened and a tall blond woman walked out followed by a man with a crew cut. They were both wearing grey suits, sun glasses and what Jax could guess was a government issued Berretta safely tucked into a leather holster. They might as well have been wearing a sign saying _FEDS WALKING_.

Clay nodded an instruction to Chibs to stay put before making his way to the visitors, his step son in toe.

He plastered a fake smile on his face and called out. "Can I help you?"

The woman spoke first. Clearly, she was the one in charge. She flashed him a smile. "Clay Morrow. Just the man I was looking for. Agent Stahl, ATF. This is Agent Morris." She turned her attention to Jax as if she'd just noticed him. "And you must be Jackson Teller."

"What can we do for you, Agent…?" Jax responded, pretending to forget her name.

"Stahl. If said I was just in the neighborhood, would you believe me?"

His smile never leaving his face, Clay darted his eyes along her body before focusing on her face. "Not even for a second."

She laughed a little, turned to her partner who had yet to say a word. "Agent Morris and I are investigating Frank Donowitz and Bobby Oaks murders. I assume you heard about it."

"It's a small town, Agent. Everyone heard about it." Clay shrugged.

Jax decided to chime in. "Hear it was brutal too. You know, we don't want to talk ill of the dead but Frank and Bobby, they were into some shady shit."

They all knew this was a game of cats and mouse and Stahl played along."Rumor has it they raped a young girl. That their murder was retribution. Don't assume you know anything about that, Mr. Morrow?"

Clay laughed out loud. "Now, why would we? We're just a bunch of motorcycle enthusiasts."He regained his seriousness and added gravely. "But you know, if those guys did rape that kid, guess they got what was coming to them."

Stahl ignored the last bit ."Molly Pratt. That was the girl's name. She, however seems to have vanished into thin air. Hasn't been to school, her friends haven't heard from her. Her name turned out to be fake, just like her social security number."

Clay put a hand on his hips and looked at her incredulously. "You don't say? Shit, you can't trust anybody those days can you?"

"Say, since when does ATF investigates murders anyways?" Jax interjected. "You that desperate for actual work?"

Stahl didn't let the provocation affect her. "Just landing a helping hand to the local police. They seem to have a lot of parasites around. They can use all the help they can get."

Clay decided it was time for the conversation to end. No departing from his pleasant exterior, he said "Well, you be sure and let us know how that works out for you."

"Oh, I'm counting on it. I'll see you soon Mr. Morrow. Mr. Teller.

The men watched as Stahl and her lackey walked back to their car. She turned and flashed them a smile that looked more like a smirk before getting in her car. As soon as the car pulled out, Clay turned to Jax. "I want everyone at the table in an hour. And call cancer boy, I want to know what the fuck is going on and why the fucking feds are circling my town." He ordered, venom in his voice.

_**Happy New year everyone! Thanks for everyone who is reading this story, it means a lot. This chapter's a bit shorter than usual, but really wanted to post something. As usual, comments and reviews welcome and encouraged!**_


	16. House of lies

**-Chapter XVI –**

**House of lies **

"_Once more."_

_Jesse sighted. She was exhausted. They had been at it for hours and she just wanted to sleep but her companion had other ideas. "We've already been through it a hundred times."_

"_And we'll go through it as many times as we have to. Eyes on the big picture, Jesse . You need to be able to answer any questions about your past without notice and without hesitation. If you hesitate, people will pick up on it."_

_Jesse felt like she was being scolded. "I know."_

"_This is about your safety as much as ours. No one can ever know who you are. Or who we are."_

"_I know."_

"_Alright, so one more time."_

_Taking a deep breath, Jesse recited the lines she had been learning for weeks. "My name is Jesse Granger. I was born on July 3rd 1980 in Newark but we moved around a lot when we were growing up. Maryland, Virginia, North Carolina."_

"_What did your parents do?"_

"_My father was in the military. Mum took care of us." _

"_What rank did your father reach?"_

"_Master Sergeant. "_

"_Where are your parents now?"_

_The questions were flowing now and the lines she had spent hours learning came out, each one sounding more natural than the one before. "They died in a car accident five years ago."_

"_Any brothers and sisters?"_

_Jesse shifted in her seat. This was always the hardest one. "I have a brother Jack, he... He was killed in 9/11. "_

"_Any pets?"_

"_Growing up, we had a pet rabbit named Morris."_

"_What about the house you grew up in?"_

"_We lived in a three storey house. There was a swing in the backyard that my brother and I used to fight for all the time. Mum grew roses and dahlias. She always said she wanted to grow vegetables but she never got around to it. There was a shed at the back that Dad used to call his cave." She recited, almost wishing it were true._

"_Schools?"_

"_We went to public school. We never stayed long in the same place so we went to quite a few. I didn't do any sports. Jack ran track."_

"_College?"_

"_I did my undergrad at Boston University and med school in Colorado. "_

"_Why did you leave the East Coast?"_

_Jesse smiled. "Why else? The weather. I always dreamed of living in California."_

"_Good. Remember. This is who you are now. This is your truth. You need to forget everything else. "_

_After a long while, Jesse nodded. _

"_Alright. Let's go again. One more time."_

"_My name is Jesse Granger."_

_*****************************************************Flashback**********************************************************************_

Jesse was snapped out of her reverie by the incessant ring of her phone. She saw Jax's name flashing on the caller ID but did not pick up.

After leaving the hospital, she had driven home and tried to distract herself from her conversation with the Hale but to no avail. Her mind kept bringing her back to the feds and what would happen if anyone found out about her past. For the last five years, she had worked so hard to bury the past and make sure no one found her out. Keeping a low profile, staying out of sight had become a second nature. She didn't publish because of it, she had chosen to do her fellowship in a small hospital instead of a high profile one in the hopes that with time she would be able to live a normal life. After everything, she couldn't believe she was finding herself in the middle of an investigation where the feds were involved. She should have listened to her instincts and left town after the attack. But instead, she had let her guard down and let herself get attached and now she wasn't sure she would be able to leave if necessary. She didn't want to. She had been warned against ever letting anyone her secret, where she came from, what she had done. But something in her gut told her there was one person she could trust with her secret. Maybe it was time to be honest and let him in. All the way. She picked up the phone and dialed Jax's number.

He picked up straight away. _"Hey, I was just calling you."_

"I know, sorry I was in the kitchen and didn't hear you." She lied. "Where are you?"

"_I'm still at the garage. Something came up and it looks like it's going to be a late one."_

"Oh, are you going to make it back tonight?"

"_Don't think so. I'll probably just crash in the clubhouse. Everything okay? _

She tried to control the slight shake in her voice. "Yeah, no there was just something I wanted to talk to you about but it can wait."

"_You sure? _

"Yeah, it's fine, it's nothing really, don't worry about it."

"_Jesse, you're okay? You sound upset."_

She took a deep breath trying to reassure him."It's just been a long day. Don't worry, everything is fine."

" _Alright, but If you need anything, you call me okay?" _

"Yeah." Before he could hang up, she continued "Jax? I love you."

_He took a beat before answering. "Love you too Babe."_

* * *

><p>Jax hanged up feeling slightly concerned. She had tried to downplay it, blaming a long day at work, but something in Jesse's voice had been off. She had sounded almost scared. Before he could think anymore about it, Opie walked into the dorm room.<p>

"Hey, you coming? Everyone's ready."

"Yeah."

"Everything okay with your girl?"

"Yeah, she's fine. Let's do this." He concluded patting his friend's back on their way out. They walked to the chapel as each of the men took their seat around the table. Clay was in a somber mood after the ATF's visit and sensing it, there was none of the usual banter that usually preceded a meeting.

"Alright, so you all know the ATF has been snooping around town, asking questions about those two assholes we dealt with for MacEavy."

Juice asked the question they all wanted to ask. "I thought Unser said the case was closed?"

"So did I." he turned to Jax. "Did you managed to trace him?"

"He hasn't been at work today. Called his wife, she says he's gone fishing and can't be reached."

"Even if he was, that bitch would probably lie about it anyway. " the president sniggered.

"Here's what I don't understand, why are those ATF assholes even involved at all?" Tig spat.

"Probably just trying to ruffle our feathers. Let us know they're watching."

"Which is a problem." Chibs interjected. "MacEavy was planning another delivery next week."

"And that's not going to change."

Jax had known it was coming. He was still incredulous when he heard it. "We got Hale and ATF sniffing around our collective asses and you want to run guns under their noses."

"That's exactly what I'm planning on doing. Hale and ATF got nothing on us. Unser assured me that the investigation was a dead end. So until he tells me otherwise, we need to keep it business as usual. Don't give ATF anything to be suspicious about."

"Maybe we pick a new location. Agree it with MacEavy 24hrs before the delivery."

"Agreed. Chibs, you're running with this."

"Aye."

Clay turned back to his step son in a conciliatory tone."I want everyone on alert, but we can't let those dicks get into your heads. They might think they're smart, but we're smarter than them. You okay with that VP?"

Jax was anything but okay with that. The last thing they needed was to take delivery of illegal guns when they knew they were in ATF radar. But the VP had more important things to worry about than wining this argument with his step father. "Whatever you say, Pres."

"Well alright then." Clay concluded before striking his gavel on the table.

Jax stood up and made his way towards the bar joining Opie as two drink magically appeared in front of them. Jax downed his in one go.

"So what do you think? Really think the ATF is just blowing wind."

"I don't know man. Probably."

"But you still we should be going through with this delivery?"

"Look, the thing is maybe the ATF's got something, maybe they don't. For all we know they might even be out of town by the time MacEavy hits town. I just have a bad feeling about this. Can't explain it, bro.

"Well, you know I got your back right?"

"Thanks brother. You staying late?"

"Nah, Kenny's been sick all day so though I'd go relieve Donna. Did you need me?"

"Nah, I'm heading home too."

"Alright I'll see you tomorrow."

Jax waited a few minutes and took his cue. He had lied to them. He knew exactly where Unser was. It had taken a bit of convincing with his wife, but in the end she had told him where he could find the Chief of Police. He had not wanted to share that information with his brothers because he wanted to talk to Unser first. One to one. He had raked his brains for a while to understand why Unser never told Clay about Jesse. At first, Jax had assumed that Hale hadn't told him but he needed to be sure. Because he wasn't naïve about Unser. He knew that if Unser knew about Jesse and he felt threatened by Clay, he would give her up to the club. Which was why Jax needed to get to Unser before anyone else did and find out what he knew. He had to protect Jesse. No matter what.

Jesse emerged from the shower and after patting herself dry, she wrapped herself in her silk robe and headed to the kitchen. Sitting on the bar, was a glass of wine she had poured herself an hour ago. She sat on a stool and stared at it conflicted. After her conversation with Jax, she had tried to calm her nerves first by cooking herself some dinner, then she tried watching TV and finally she had opened one of the bottles of wine she kept for occasions and poured a glass. It was against the rules. Her rules. Never drink alone and never drink because you're sad or lonely. She had spent an hour, having an internal debate with herself before she finally decided to have a shower, hoping it would distract her. It hadn't. She felt alone and scared which were feelings that she had experienced so much in the last few years that it felt like two old friends. She didn't want to be scared and didn't want to be alone anymore. But she seemed unable to shake her funk. And now she was back in her kitchen staring at the same glass of wine as if her life depended on it.

"It's just a glass, Jesse." She whispered as she gripped the stem of the glass. But she knew that was a lie. She knew that if she had that drink, she would have another one and another one until the bottle was finished and then she'd open another bottle and would drink until she passed out. She knew it, history wasn't on her side.

_*********************************************************Flashback*********************************************************************_

"_Hey you're okay?"_

_Jesse looked up and saw one of the attending doctors looking at her with concern. What was his name again, Darryl? Darren?_

"_I'm fine, thanks. Just had a hard day."_

_He opened his locker taking out his blue scrubs. "Looked like you were in pain."_

_She usually tried to stray clear of small talk. She just wasn't interested. All she wanted was finish her residency in peace and find a fellowship somewhere quiet where she could finally move on. She forced a smile anyway "Just a back pain." _

"_How long has it been?"_

"_A couple of days."_

_He flashed her a smile she was sure worked for him every time. "That's what happens when you stand for ten hours trying to save some asshole's life." _

"_Excuse me?"_

"_The gun shot wound? Heard the officers talking. The wife says he used to beat every day. She finally had enough. Shot him. Now it looks like she's going to jail. Go figure." He shrugged. His back was at her so he didn't realise that the blood had drained from her face or that her hands were shaking. "You know I can write you a prescription if you want? For your back?_

_She should have said no. She should have walked thank him and walked away. The back pain would have subsided eventually. She didn't._

_*******************************************************Flashback*********************************************************************_

Jesse sighted, lifting the glass. She didn't like to think about those days. The darkness that had taken over her life after that had nearly destroyed her body and soul. But she had pulled through. She had fought tooth and nail to piece her life back together and she wasn't about to throw it all away. She had to stay in control and stick to her story. And for that, she needed a clear mind. Making a decision, she stood up and poured her glass into the sink, and then proceeded to do the same with the bottle. When she was done, she allowed herself a self satisfied smile and went to bed.

* * *

><p>Unser heard footsteps and jumped out of the folding couch instinctively reaching for his shot gun. He was in the middle of the woods and steps at this time of the night could only mean trouble. He opened the door to his trailer, his sanctuary away from all the crap he had to deal with in Charming and stepped out. Holding the shotgun ready to shoot whoever was hiding out, he looked around, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. He heard another snap and spun around coming face to face with Jackson Teller.<p>

"Holy shit!"

"Are you out of your goddamn mind? I could have killed you!"

""What the fuck are you doing with a shot gun on a fishing trip?"

"I use it for protection."He moodily replied before letting out a resigned sigh.

"From what the fish?"

Unser shook his head and let out a resigned sigh."I'm assuming this isn't just a courtesy visit."

"We need to talk man. But how about you get dressed first, uh? Don't want to be scarred for life." Jax smirked.

Unser looked down and remembered he was only wearing his boxers and a wife beater. He shrugged and went back inside.

A few minutes later, he came back out minus the shot gun. "So what's so important that you got to follow me all the way up her, Jax?"

"Though you might like to tell me why the ATF is crawling all over town asking questions about Donowitz and Oaks."

He shrieked. "What?!"

"Two agents showed up at TM today. Tall blond bitch called Stahl and her puppet. Said they were in town investigating the murders."

"That doesn't make any sense. Case is with San Joaquin. They don't even have jurisdiction. They must be after something else."

"The MC."

"But I don't see how solving a murder helps ATF."

"I don't know man, but this is not good."

"Hale. He must have known about this. ATF wouldn't just waltz into town without paying the local police a courtesy visit. What do you want me to do?"

"I need you to find out why they're here and let me know."

"So much for my fishing trip. I'll call you as soon as I find something."

"There's something else. Is there anything, anything you didn't tell us about the investigation?"

He hesitated. "No, I…I have told you everything."

"Are you sure? " Jax insisted, his eyes drilling into Unser.

The old man held Jax's look for a minute before looking away. Jax knew. That much was clear. "Shit Jax. You can't hurt her."

"I know."

"I mean it Jax. She doesn't know anything. She's no threat to you guys."

Jax put a hand on Unser shoulder, tightening his fingers around it to give his words more weight. "I know. "

"How did you…"

"It doesn't matter. But you and I both know what happens if Clay finds out. He can never know that Jesse Granger was in that bar that night."

"Okay."

* * *

><p><em><strong>This story has now gone over 100 followers and I want to thank all of you who have alerted this story! You guys keep me motivated!<strong>_

_**I know a few of you are awaiting the dinner scene which should be in the next chapter, but feeling very nervous suddenly!**_

_**Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**_


	17. Life in disguise

**CHAPTER XVII**

**Life in disguise.**

Like most people, Jesse didn't remember every detail of her wedding day. Things had gone so fast and she had been so wrapped in happiness and nervous energy that she did not remember much, except a general feeling of contentment. Funnily enough, what she did remember most were tiny details, like the annoying wrinkle to the bottom of the dress that no one could see but her or that the band was ten minutes late. She remembered obsessing over the priest's collar because it was slightly unaligned. All those silly things were weirdly vivid in her head but she had forgotten things that seemed more important like who aside from her husband she had danced with or who gave a toast or not that night. There was however one toast that she had committed to memory, engraved so deep into her brain that she would forever remember it. She still pictured how he'd stood up holding his glass of champagne looking absolutely dashing in his tuxedo. She could still see the loving smile he had when he gazed longingly into her eyes as he said the words.

"To my parents, family and friends, I want to say thank you. For everything you've done for me, for helping me be the best man I can be. A man able to convince such a beautiful creature to bother with me. To my beautiful, smart, kind, generous wife I want to say thank you. Thanks for letting me into your life, for letting me love you like you deserve and for agreeing to spend the rest of your life with me. IN front of your friends and family, I promise you that I'll spend the rest of my life trying to be a man worthy of your love."

It had been the perfect balance of humor, modesty, emotion and love. Nick had never been known as a man of many words, and people had been deeply moved by his speech. Jesse had cried tears of joy before he swooped her in for a breathtaking kiss. There were that couple. The one people secretly envy and why wouldn't they. They were perfect for each other. They didn't argue, they shared everything, and their relationship had been one great moment after another.

Jesse had spent countless night trying to go back in time to pinpoint the moment where it all went wrong, to see if there had been any clues of the dark character that Nick had been hiding behind his calm and amenable demeanor. She went through it over and over again in her mind until it drove her crazy, analyzing every moment of their history hoping to find some answer that would help make sense of it all. But up until the moment he first laid a hand on her, there had been nothing.

Of that day, she remembered every single minute. How she'd woken up that morning, determined to find out what had been weighing on her husband's mind. Not long after their wedding, Nick's father had suffered a heart attack and they had agreed to move to Boston so Nick could help with the family transport business.

Since he had taken the head of the company, he had been working so hard that they barely saw each other anymore, and when he was home, he wasn't really there. She had wanted him to know she was there for him and that he could talk to her. Which was why she had planned a special dinner for the two of them that night. She had gone to the other side of the city to Nick's favorite deli place and taken some prosciutto and the best mozzarella in town. After she'd come home and had spent the rest of the day cooking osso bucco. Once she had made sure the house was clean and tidy, she had taken a long scented bath and put on a dress she had bought a few weeks back accessorizing it with a diamond necklace he had bought her for their anniversary.

From the moment he walked into the house, she had known something was off. He had looked stressed and upset. She remembered him looking at her as if she wasn't even there. He had taken off his coat and told her he was tired and would go to bed. She had followed him into their bedroom and tried talking to him while he took off his clothes. She didn't see it coming. Of course, she didn't. He was her husband, her partner, the man who loved her. Why would she have been expecting him to hit her? But she had felt his hand on her cheek burning her long after he had slapped her. She had looked up at him not clearly understanding what had just happened, and he had looked almost as shocked as she was. A slap. That was how it had all started. Afterwards, after he had apologized over and over again, she had tried to rationalize it. It was a mistake, a terrible mistake that would never happen again. This couldn't be her story. They weren't those kind of people. So she had forgiven him. Because he loved her. He had told her so. You don't hurt the people you love, right?

Jesse rolled around in her bed and looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table. 1 am. She had gone to bed over two hours ago and she had not slept a wink. History was decided to invite itself into her head tonight. She had been turning and tossing trying to fight it but she knew it was pointless. There would be no rest for her.

She got off her bed and wrapped herself in a robe before walking to the kitchen. She put on the kettle and as she took out a mug out of the cupboard, she heard the familiar roar of a motorcycle in her drive way. She ran to the window and let a sigh of relief when she saw Jax dismount his Harley and make his way to the door. She opened it before he could even knock surprising him and almost threw herself in his arms. He held her for a long time before she finally let go.

"Happy to see me?"

She let out a small laugh. "Only a little."

"Come on, let's get you in."

She moved aside and closed the door behind him as he took off his cut and hoodie casting worried eyes on her. "Come here."

She closed the gap between them, letting her head rest on his shoulder. "I thought you weren't coming tonight."

"I changed my mind. I wanted to see you."

She gazed up at him and laid a kiss on his lips.

"Are you sure you're okay? You sounded weird on the phone earlier."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you..."

"Hey, don't worry about it." He smiled at her softly. "What's going on?"

She sighted and walked back to kitchen, pouring herself some tea before responding. "Hale showed up at the hospital today. He said federal agents were looking into Frank Donowitz and Bobby Oak's murders and they wanted to go over my testimony with me. I tried telling him I had nothing else to say but he insisted I talk to them. I just-I thought this was all behind me but obviously I was wrong."

His instincts had been right. ATF had nothing and they were clutching at straws trying to incriminate the sons. That's why they wanted to interview Jesse again. He swallowed back the anger he felt to see her so affected by all this. "You know you don't have to talk to them if you don't want to, right?"

Jesse ran a hand in her messy hair. "I know. I just- I want to get it over with, you know. I feel like for the past couple of months my whole life has revolved around this single event and I just want to move on. I really wish I had never set foot in that bar.

He took her hand and pulled her closer. "I'm sorry you have to go through this again Babe."

She heard the sincere words and felt a wave of guilt wash over her. She knew she wasn't being completely honest as to why she was so nervous about the interview with the feds and she wanted to be able to tell the truth to Jax about her past. But it wasn't the right time for that. So instead she simply smiled. "I'm just glad you're here."

Locking his arms around her waist, he kissed her. "Tell you what, how about after your interview, you and I take a ride for the day? Get out of town, get your mind off things and we'll be back in time for dinner."

She winced. "Dinner at your mums, I had almost forgotten about that."

"Nervous?"

"What gave me out?" she mocked. "Your mother is not an easy lady to please, Jax and I think I already have a strike against me. Something tells me she's the kind of woman who knows how to hold a grudge."

"If it makes you feel any better, Gemma dislikes most people. So don't take it personally."

She let a small laugh escape. "Wow. That does not make me feel any bit better, but thanks for trying."

"Babe, I don't care what my mum thinks."

"I do. I wish I didn't but I do. I want her to accept me as part of your life. And it's not only about her, it's about the rest of your big, weird, close-knit clan. I know how much they all mean to you and it's important for me that they accept me."

Jax cupped her face in his hands. "They're all going to love you Jesse."

"Well, I'm very lovable. "

"Besides, I'm more worried you'll run for the hills once you meet those unstable low lives."

"Not a chance. You're stuck with me Teller."

She stated as she untied her robe and let it fall onto the floor. She kissed him tenderly and he returned the favor, running his hand over the soft fabric of her nightdress He kneeled in front of her and slid his hands up her leg, until he reached her lace panties, swiftly removing them. He spent a few minutes kissing her legs, slowly making his way up as he let his fingers explore her core, toying with her.

"Jax, I need you." She whispered as she locked her fingers in his hair. He stood up and she quickly helped him out of his jeans her need for him growing every second. He gently turned her around and pushed her against the wall, brushing his lips on her neck as his hand lifted her robe. He pressed his body against hers and she felt his swollen cock rubbing against her core. He put his hand on her waist and with the other one pushed at her entrance, easily sliding deep into her. She arched back with a moan of pleasure as he slowly moved inside of her. His hand left her waist and moved to her breasts, caressing one then moving to the other as he slid his other hand to her clit and continued his teasing. She clutched his hair as their hips started moving faster and faster.

"God, baby, you feel so good." He said as he picked up the pace, feeling the need for a release more pressing with every thrust.

He increased his pressure on her clit and felt her tense, telling him she was close too. He slammed into her, pushing into her shoulders as she cried out his name. He put his hands on either side of her waist, giving him more control as he pushed into her, harder and faster until he finally found his release.

* * *

><p>At exactly 9 a.m. the next morning, Jesse found herself nervously standing in front of the police station. Although the night had started badly, she had found respite in Jax's arms. But this morning, her worries had just come rushing back. She wanted, no she needed this case to be over. Not only because she wanted to move on but also because she couldn't have people digging into her story.<p>

She let herself into the station and presented herself at the reception desk.

"Hi, Doctor Granger for Deputy Hale?" she said to the young officer behind the counter.

He simply smiled and pointed down the corridor. "They're waiting for you."

She nodded her thanks and walked in the indicated direction as the door opened and David walked in her direction.

"Jesse, thanks for coming. I promise we'll be quick." He said with a genuine smile as he escorted her to his office where a tall woman with long sandy blond hair was sitting, comfortably sipping coffee. From the moment Jesse laid her eyes on the woman, she did not like her one bit. She couldn't explain why, she didn't have any reason not to, but there was something about the woman that didn't sit right with her. Her gut was screaming at her that she was not to be trusted. The woman looked up as if she just noticed their presence and plastering a tight smile on her face, she stood, holding out her hand for Jesse.

" Doctor Granger? June Stahl ATF. Please take a seat." The woman said with authority as if this were her office.

Jesse looked from her to Hale who just nodded encouraging her to sit.

"Thank you for coming, Doctor. I know you've got a busy schedule."

"To be honest, Agent Stahl. I'm not sure what help I can be, I have already told Deputy Hale everything I know. "

"Not that I don't trust the Charming police but I would like to go over you statement once more. You never know."

"Very well."

"So you said you were driving home from Lodi when you car broke down correct?"

"Yes."

"What were you doing in Lodi?"

Jesse couldn't see why the woman would want to know that. It had nothing to do with what happened that night and there was no way she would tell that woman that she was at an NA meeting. "I went to see a friend."

"I thought you had just moved to the area?"

"I did."

"You made friends really quickly."

Jesse was starting to feel very irritated by the tone of the questions. "Agent Stahl, I'm happy to help but I'm not sure what that has to do with what happened?"

"Sorry, you're right. So your car broke down and you decided to walk in the hope tofind some help?"

"Well, i didn't have a phone and at that time it didn't feel like I had much choice."

"Still, walking around at night like that is pretty dangerous for a woman alone."

Since she wasn't asking any question, Jesse just stared at her, and remained silent. Stahl was trying to sound empathic but her tone was coming across as patronizing and pompous. There was something very fake in her demeanor and it grated Jesse.

Stahl moved on. "You also stated that Frank Donowitz and Bobby Oaks were alone in the bar when you arrived."

"Yes. "

"And then Frank Donowitz led you to the office to make a phone call."

"It was the one with the swastikas, yes."

"Can you tell me what happened after that?"

"I called a cab company and they told me they'd be there in half an hour, I hung up and asked to go to the bathroom."

"And what happened after you went to the bathroom?"

Stahl was asking questions but it almost seemed as if she didn't care about the answers. She was just going through the motions.

Jesse realised that her hands were shaking as she remembered the fear she had felt that night. Trying to control her voice, she spoke. " I was washing my hands and I heard gunshots so I hid in one of the stalls."

"And before the gunshots, you didn't hear anything? No cars,motorcycle, no voices?

"No. After the shooting, I heard muffled voices."

Stahl picked up a file and stood up, sitting on the edge of the desk. "That's when one of the attackers came into the bathroom, right?

"Yes. I dropped something from my bag and they heard it."

She shrugged. "And again, you didn't see or hear anything that could help."

Jesse felt her anger rising. The woman was really grating on her. "No, I was busy trying to not to be found."

"And since the voices were muffled, I'm guessing you wouldn't be able to them if you heard them again?

Jesse clenched her teeth." No, I don't think I'd recognize them. "

"That's a shame. You know what strikes me Doctor?"she asked not waiting to hear an answer. "They checked all the stalls in the bathroom except for the one you're hiding in. Don't you find that odd?"

"Well maybe you should ask them when you catch them." Jesse snapped.

Stahl sniggered. "Maybe."

The door suddenly opened and Jesse spun around to see the man she knew as the Chief of Police, Wayne Unser standing at the threshold. "Do you mind telling me what the hell is going on here?"

Stahl didn't lose a beat and walked to him, her fake smile plastered all over her face as she held out a hand to him much like she had done with Jesse a few minutes before. "Chief Unser I presume? Agent Stahl ATF."

"I didn't ask who you were, I can still recognise a fed. I asked what the hell was going on?"

"We were just going over Doctor Granger's testimony about the Albion double murder."

Unser ignored her and turned his attention to Hale." As far as I remember, we closed that investigation didn't we?

" It's still an open case."

" One for the San Joaquin police. I'd say you wasted enough of Doctor Granger's time." replied pointedly before looking at Jesse apologetically. "You can go now sweetheart. I'm sure you got better things to do."

Jesse stood up at once and smiled grateful for an escape. "Thanks Chief."

"You have a good day." He waited until she was out of earshot before turning his attention back to Hale and Stahl.

Stahl held her hands up to appease the old man. "We were just trying to help with the investigation."

"I might be old and sick, lady but I ain't stupid. I ain't got no help coming from ATF and I don't appreciate you bothering people in my town behind my back."

"People like SAMCRO?" Stahl asked provocative.

Unser just smiled at her. "How about you let the door hit you on your way out, Agent?"

"I'm sure I'll see you again soon, Chief." She smiled as she walk to the door. She turned to Hale, nodding goodbye. "Deputy."

"Let's hope not." Unser spat at she left the office. He turned back to Hale who was still standing by his desk. "So much for protecting the good doctor, uh?"

Stahl walked down the corridor and took out her phone from her pocket to call her partner.

"Morris, it's Stahl. Did you get anything on MacEavy?"

"We're still looking into the intel. How did the interview go?"

"I think the Doctor is hiding something and I want to know what it is. Put a tail on her."

"Based on what?"

"Call it a hunch."


	18. Let me introduce you to the family

**CHAPTER XVIII**

**Let me introduce you to the family**

"Are you sure I look okay? I feel underdressed?"

Jax looked up at her and smiled. She looked good. Actually, she looked a lot more than good. She was wearing washed up jeans with a brand new sapphire blue blouse which flattered her chest. She had kept make up to a minimum with just a hint blush to liven up her cheeks, a dash of mascara and some lip gloss and had chosen to accessorize her outfit with dangling earrings and a discrete gold necklace. She looked beautiful.

"You're perfect."

"I'm sorry. I'm just nervous. I feel like I' m walking into the lion's den. " she said with a smile before taking a deep breath."Maybe it won't be so bad, right? Oh who am i kidding? This is going to a disaster. I don't know why I let you convince me to do this. You're just lucky the sex is good." She teased playfully.

"Darlin' that's not luck, that's talent."

She cackled "Cocky much?"

He laughed before regaining seriousness. "I love you."

"And then he says that. I love you too, Jax. Alright Let's do this."

She slid her hand in his as he led up the driveway to his mother's house.

* * *

><p>They had spent a wonderful day together. After she'd come home from the station and told him about the interview, they had taken his bike and headed out of town. They had ridden for about two hours before he had pulled up in the middle of nowhere. Clutching a basket he had put together while she was out that morning, he had led her down a beaten path.<p>

"Where are we, Jax?"

" Indian reservation. Club friendly."

After a few minutes walk, they had reached a wonderful isolated little lake. "You're up for a swim?"

"Jax, I didn't bring a bathing suit."

He had grinned as he took off his cut, folding it neatly and letting it rest on a rock before getting rid of his teeshirt "I know."

He had taken off his jeans and boxers as she laughed. Before she knew it, he had been naked as day. And boy, did he look good. He had dived into the water, swimming to the middle of the lake before emerging. "You coming?"

She had bit her lip, trying to make a decision. After checking their surroundings once more and being reassured that they were indeed alone, she had stripped down too as he stared at her, lust in his eyes.

The water had been freezing, but she'd soldiered on joining him in a few lapses. She had laughed as she found refuge in his arms. " You know I have never been skinny dipping before."

He'd smiled at her as he'd slid his hands to her bottom, lifting her as she locked her arms around his neck. "You cold?" He asked softly, as she shivered against him.

" No, this is perfect Jax. Just perfect."

And it had been. They had made love right there in the water, and afterwards, they'd wrapped up in the blanket that Jax had brought with them, their bodies finding warmth In the closeness and eaten some food he had prepared. Jesse couldn't remember a time she'd felt like this. She felt...complete. She felt safe and loved and she didn't feel alone anymore. The only cloud in her happiness was the things she was still hiding from Jax and she knew right then that she had to tell him the truth. She needed to trust him with her secret.

She had turned to speak and realised he had fallen asleep against her. She smiled, softly kissing his lips before resting her head on his chest. Before long, she had fallen asleep too.

* * *

><p>As Jesse followed Jax into Gemma's house, she tightened the grip on his hand. He led her towards the group standing in the yard, watching her every move and she suddenly felt like a doll display as everyone turned their attention to her.<p>

"Finally! you're late." were the first words out of Gemma Teller's mouth.

"It's good to see you too mum. " Jax replied as he kisses his mother's cheek. "Jesse,you remember my mum?"

"it's good to see you again, Mrs Teller."

"Gemma, please."

Jax steered her away from his mother. " Let me introduce you to the rest of these losers."

When Jesse was a little girl, she had devised a technique to learn things she wasn't sure to remember where she associated things or people with easy to remember words. She had used it all through childhood and it had served her very well in med school when she had to learnt he name of every single bone in the human body. So Jax started the introductions, Jesse went through her mental game to ensure she remembered everyone's name.

"This is Tig."

Crazy hair.

" Bobby."

Papa bear.

" Chibs."

Scar face.

"Opie."

Sweet Giant.

"Happy."

For some reason, she didn't think she would need a memento for this one.

" And you already met the knucklehead."

"Hi Half sack."

"Hey doc."

" And this asshole is my stepfather Clay."

Mr Gemma then.

Tig and the misnamed Happy just looked away quickly, focusing their attention back to their beers as Opie, the giant with a sweet face walked to them and spoke. "it's good to meet you, Doc. We were starting to think he was making you up."

Jesse smiled. "It's nice to meet you all.I hear a lot about you."

"Now don't listen go anything that kid says about us... Unless it's good." the bear named Bobby intervened.

Gemma interrupted. " We bought you some wine, figured you weren't the beer drinking type."

"Actually, I'll have a beer if that's okay."

"Now that's a good girl." She heard the man with the scars say in a soft scottish brogue as he handed her a beer .

"You have a beautiful house Gemma."

" It bloody well should be, considering what I paid for it" Clay remarked.

" Watch it." Gemma warned in a playful tone. "I better go check on the girls if we ever want to eat. You take a seat doc." The woman said as she parted.

Jesse turned to Jax "I should probably go in there and help."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine."

"Alright."

She leaned and whispered softly "But if you hear me screaming for help, I'll be in the kitchen."

He laughed as she followed Gemma towards the kitchen as his step father approached him. "Where is she going?"

"To help Gemma and the girls in the kitchen. Should I hide the knives?"

"Your mother promised she'd play nice."

"And you believed her?"

"Hey, she's _your_ mother."

"Tell me about it."

"This girl… she that important to you?"

"She wouldn't be here if she wasn't."

"Then she needs this. They both girl, she's either going to swim or she's gonna drown. Either way, you got to know she can handle herself as an old lady."

* * *

><p>Jesse let herself in the kitchen where several women were helping Gemma.<p>

"Can I help with anything?"

Gemma turned to her. "No, I think we're pretty good here."

A young woman with gorgeous brown hair and kind eyes waved at her. "You can help me with the salad."

Jesse saw Gemma throw the young woman a nasty look but she chose to ignore it and made her way towards her.

"I'm Donna. Opie's wife."

"It's nice to meet you Donna.I'm Jesse."

"I know. Everyone's heard about you."

Jesse looked down embarrassed.

"It's nothing bad. It's just Jax has never introduced anyone to the club before."

"What about Wendy?

The other woman in the room, a blond woman in her late forties with the body of a twenty year old intervened. "That was different hon, she was a crow eater, so she was was already out with the club. "

Crow eater. Something she'd have to ask Jax about later.

" I'm Luanne by the way. Otto's wife."

Jesse racked her brain to remember which one was Otto when Luanne put her out of her misery. "oh, he's not here Hun, he's in jail right now."

" She didn't ask for your life story, Luanne." Gemma chastised.

"I was just making conversation."

Donna spoke again, in an obvious effort to steer the conversation away from crow eaters and jail. "So how did you and Jax meet?"

"Uh, My car broke down and he just happened to be there." It was almost not a lie But it was the only truth she was prepared to share, especially with the mother of the man she was seeing.

"Really? Where was that?"

"Lodi."

"That's lucky."Gemma intervened. "Car breaks down and the one person you meet happens to be a mechanic."

"I think it's romantic."

Luanne chimed in "I'm with Donna on this one. Sounds like something tight out of a movie."

Gemma rolled her eyes as Luanne continued to talk. "I should know I'm a movie producer."

Jesse took a sip from her beer. "Really, what kind of movies?"

It was Gemma who answered "Porn."

Jesse started coughing as she chocked on her beer.

"Soft porn." Luanne corrected firmly.

Gemma sniggered. "Really now?"

"It's what it's called." She whined before turning back to Jesse. "I used to act. Now I sit my fine ass in my producer chair every day and tell others how they should take it up the…"

"I think she gets it."

"Well, I don't think I've ever met anyone in the porn business. But I did read an article recently that it was one of the most profitable businesses in the US."

"I know." Luanne replied with a knowing smile.

Jesse decided it was time for her to ask a question. "So, what exactly is a crow eater?

Both Donna and Luanne turned their look to Gemma deferring to her to answer. Gemma stared at Jesse for a moment before answering. "They are friends of the club, they help out around the club and they keep the boys entertained."

Jesse knew Gemma was trying to embarrass her and she wasn't going to play into her hand.

"You mean, they're there to have sex with them?"

Donna tried be reassuring. " They don't all sleep with them."

Gemma raised an inquisitive eyebrow "You got an issue with that doc?

"If that's their choice, I'm not going to judge them for it."

Without taking her eyes off of, Jesse, Gemma changed the subject. " How about your girls go see if the boys could use a refill?"

Jesse forced a smile. "Sure"

Donna took out some beers out of the fridge and nodded to jesse to follow her.

"Don't let her get into your head. I've known Jax a long time, he is crazy about you. He wouldn't cheat on you."

" Thanks, I just don't know what I did for her to hate me so much."

"Gemma hates everyone that us not part of her inner circle so don't take it personally."

Jesse sniggered. " You're the second person to tell me that."

"See? Then, it must be true. Trust me, it took her a long time to warm up to me. For what it's worth, i think you're doing just fine."

Jesse smiled warmly, she liked the young woman. She was kind and genuine. " Thanks Donna."

They put beers on the table just as Jax walked up to them."Hey, everything alright?"

Jesse smiled as Donna joked " you better watch out Jax, we'll make an old lady out of her yet."

His laugh was interrupted by Gemma coming out of the kitchen. "Dinner is served!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Two chapters today! I hope you enjoy! This chapter was intentionally short cut short but don't worry the dinner will continue onto the next Chapter.<strong>_

_** I really want to thank everyone who is following and reading this story, you guys rock!**_

_**To my loyal reviewers, thanks ever so much for your kind words, critique and insight into each chapter, they are not very, very appreciated by this writer.**_

_**Thank you!**_


	19. The lost art of keeping a secret

-** CHAPTER XIX -**

**The lost art of keeping a secret**

Jax watched with relief as everyone jumped on their dessert as soon as it was brought on the table. The evening had been stressful at best and he was glad it was nearing an end. He had spent the night trying to steer the conversation away from anything that might clue anyone in on the circumstances in which he met Jesse. Fortunately and slighlty weirdly, the boys had been behaving. In typical fashion Tig and Happy had ignored Jesse for the most part as they would any woman who wasn't a potential notch on their bed which was fine by him, Piney had been busy downing his usual poison, and his mother had been uncharacteristically quiet.

He had to admit he was proud of Jesse. He hadn't known how she would handle herself when faced with his brothers and especially around Gemma, but she had done great. The first few minutes of the dinner were a bit akward but once she got started talking to Donna and Juice, the conversation had become a lot more natural. She had chatted with Chibs for ages about Scotland as Jesse told him about the road trip she had taken there after graduation and she'd charmed Bobby after complimenting him for his Elvis impersonation. He knew that was partially what had Gemma brooding. She had wanted to show him that Jesse did not belong by his side, but so far, Jesse had been proving her wrong at every corner.

Chibs cleared his throat. "Say Doc, tha kid has this thing he want to ask you about."

"Nah, man come on." Half Sack pleaded.

Bobby intervened. "Come on, prospect, don't be shy. Ask the professionals."

Jesse raised a questioning eyebrow, wondering what that was all about. "What?"

"Spit it out shithead." Jax ordered.

"Just, I have this thing…a war injury. It's- I kind of only have one nut left and I read somewhere that you can get like a fake one and Chibs wouldn't believe me."

The men started chucking like naughty little boys who just heard a dirty joke.

Opie rolled his eyes as Jax sighted. "Jesus Christ."

Jesse tried not to laugh "Hum, you can. They are implants for this sorts of things."

"See, I told you I wasn't making this up man!"

For the first time since she had arrived, Tig made direct eye contact with her. "Really, how does that even work?"

"How do you think?" Clay barked. "Sorry Doc, my boys can be slightly retarded."

Jesse raised a hand. "It's okay. I'd be happy to recommend people if you want to go through with it."

A broad smile lightened the young man's face. "Really? Thanks Doc."

Gemma suddenly stood up, ending the conversation. "Alright, I think that's enough talk about balls for one night. Luanne, you mind giving me a hand?"

The women started picking up empty plates, quickly clearing the table. Jax leaned towards Jesse, whispering in her ear. "Hey you want to head out soon, I know you got an early shift."

"I'm going to go help your mum first."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, don't worry." she said with a smile as she stood up and walked towards the kitchen. Jax turned to face his step father, who was just grinning at him.

"What are you looking at?"

"She sure has you pussy whipped." Clay snarked

"You're talking?"

Clay laughed as his phone rang. He looked up at the caller ID and stood up. "Looks like cancer boy finally decided to return his calls.

* * *

><p>Jesse walked in the kitchen where Luanne was helping Gemma dry dishes. "Hi Luanne, you mind if I take over?"<p>

Luanne looked from Jesse to Gemma, and Jesse was sure she saw an impercetible nod from the matriarch before Luanne answered.

"Knock yourself out." she said handing her a towel.

Jesse got to work and for the next few minutes the women worked wordlessly side by side before Jesse decided to break the silence. "You have a great family, Gemma."

"You haven't said much about yours, Doc."

Jesse's eyes flew to the floor. "My parents died when I was young. My brother took care of me. He died a few years ago."

"Must be rough. Being alone, no family, no roots."

"It has been, it still is, especially on nights like this when you realise what you're missing." Jesse admitted. "Gemma, listen, I know you and I didn't start off on the best basis and I know you don't really like me."

Placing her hand on her hip, Gemma turned to face her for the first time since their conversation started. "This isn't about me liking you or not."

"What is it about then?"

"I got to say Doc. You've got a lot more backbone than I originally gave you credit for. But you and my son, you come from very different worlds. You might as well be from different planets."

Jesse nodded. "I understand. And you're right. You all live in a world that I'm not quite sure I understand yet. But Jax and I we share something just as important if not more than where we both come from."

"Yeah? And what is that?"

"We share our values. Family, trust, loyalty. We both believe in the same things."

"I know you want to believe that. "

"I do. I'm not here to rock the boat Gemma. I just- I really care for him. I want a future with your son."

"How long have you known my son? A couple of months? Three tops? I don't doubt that you care for the version of him you know. But you're too smart not to understand there's more to my son that."

"I know."

"Do you, really? Those men you see out there and my son, they are a package deal. You love my son, you gotta learn to love all the shit that comes with him. You really ready to do that, Doc? Because if you can't, I don't need to tell you that that thing the two of you have is never going to last. And if you think you can change him…

"I don't _want_ to change him." Jesse countered firmly.

Gemma crossed her arms, and raised an eybrow in defiance."You wouldn't be the first to try."

Jesse met her eyes, her feelings bubbling at the surface. "Gemma, when I met Jax, I was in a pretty dark place of my life. He helped me through it. He helped me be stronger, he made me feel safe, move forward. More than that, he challenges me and he makes me want to see things a different way. And trust me I'm the first one surprised because I did not expect to fall for someone like Jax. But I did and he makes me happy. I don't want to change him Gemma because _he_ changes _me_. For the better. All I'm asking for is a chance to prove it to you."

Gemma sniggered. "Sweetheart, don't know if anyone tell you but my son isn't exactly waiting on my approval to be with you."

"Maybe not. But you and his club, you all are the most important thing to him. Which makes it important to me that you and I we find a way to get along."

Gemma remained silent for a moment, her eyes never leaving Jesse's."Tell you what, ask yourself if there is anything that would make you regret this little speech, then ask my son for the truth and see where you wind up."

* * *

><p>Jax sipped his beer, comfortably sat on a chair, as he observed Gemma and Jesse's conversation. He wasn't sure what was being said but both women looked fierce. He spotted Opie approaching him with a knowing smile. "How do you think it's going in there?"<p>

Jax shook his head. "I have no idea bro."

"Jesse did good. Think everyone likes her."

"Yeah?"

Opie laughed. "My wife is already planning double dates, man."

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen, bro"

"We better go pick up the kids. Donna's mother hates it when we're late."

JAx stood up and hugged his friend. "Alright man. I'll see you tomorrow."

Donna approached them and embraced him goodbye. "Bye Jax. I don't want to interrupt but say thanks to Gemma for us."

"Don't worry about it."

As they made their way out, Clay walked back into the dining room. "Where is everyone?

"Boys are outside. Luanne, Opie and Donna left."

"Your girl?"

"With your wife."

"Still?"

"Guess they got a a lot to talk about. What did Unser have to say ?"

It was a question Jax already knew the answer to. After all, he had rehearsed with Unser not a few hours ago. They had agreed the previous night that Unser would cut his fishing trip short and get back to Charming to try and find out what the hell was up with ATF and report back to him.

After interrupting Jesse's interview, Unser had made a few phone calls enquiring about the ATF investigation and had found out that the ATF bitch had fucked up a major gun running sting operation that came after a two years investigation which her bosses were none too happy about. She was sent to Lodi as some form of punishment. Kind of a fed purgatory. She was desperate for a big coup that would put her back in her bosses good graces and she thought that SAMCRO was her ticket due to their alleged ties with Northern Ireland. When she'd heard that the Sons were potential suspects in the Albion murders investigation, she thought it was her opportunity to find leverage against the true IRA.

Jesse had told him about her interview and how obnoxious and pushy the woman had been. That was a clear sign of desperation which was exactly what made the woman dangerous in Jax eye's. As long as she couldn't tie them with the murders though, there was nothing she could do to them. All they needed to do was keep their heads down until it blew over. After all, she wasn't the first fed to come after the sons and she likely wouldn't be the last one. The only thing he needed to make sure of was that he continued to protect Jesse and the club not matter what.

"Exactly what we thought. That fed is an overzealous bitch who's got nothing on SAMCRO. She's just trying to make noise see if we'll bite."

"I guess we're all good then."

"We're better than good. MacEavy's delivery is planned for Friday."

"What do you think of calling onto the Sacramento brothers for that one? We give them as small percentage and we stay out of sight from the ATF."

"Might be worth it. Let's put out to church tomorrow."

Jax stood up and nodded towards the kitchen. " Alright. I better go check on those two."

"They seem to be getting along fine." Clay joked.

"Yeah, that scares the shit out of me." Jax shot back before making his way towards the kitchen, lighting a smoke. He approached Jesse.

"Hey Babe, you're ready to go?"

"Sure. Let me just get my jacket."

As Jesse exited the room, Jax turned back to his mother with a questionning look.

"Something on your mind?" she shot at him as she took his cigarette and took a deep drag.

"You two played nice?"

"I always play nice."

Jax laughed.

Gemma smiled and inspected her son's face as if she was looking for some answers."You look different."

"Mum..."

"I mean it, Jax. You just...you look... happy." she admitted begrudgingly.

"I am."

"Well, that's all I want." she whispered as she cupped his face in her hand and kissed him. "You have a good night baby."

Jesse walked back into the kitchen closely followed by Clay "I'm ready. Gemma, thanks for everything."

"You're welcome."

Jax slid his hand in Jesse's and lead her out as Gemma closed the door walking back to Clay. He embraced her tenderly. " So you happy now?"

Gemma gave him a look and he just sighted. "Something is not right With that girl Clay. I can feel it in my gut."

"Oh jesus christ, here we go."

"Don't make fun of me Clay. I can't explain it but I am telling you that something isn't right.

She really couldn't explain it. Call it a mother's instinct. But there was some things about Jesse that just didn't add up. She was polished but if you looked closer you could see that she was rougher on the edges. A lot of women would have just stuck by their man's side all evening, but somehow that girl had straightaway understood the unwritten rules of being a woman in SAMCRO's world. She'd come to the kitchen without being asked, she'd barely blinked when Luanne had talked about her line of work, she had served the men all evening without a question. She didn't see an issue, she just got on with it. Gemma had also noticed how she'd look at Jax for a tiny second before engaging with any of the guys. Not exactly the kind of attitude you come to expect from a WASP from the east coast. She was sure now there was more to that girl that meet the eye and although she didn't doubt her feelings for her son, she still wasn't convinced that she was a good fit for him. Unfortunately, she also knew there was little she could do as she would be the last person her son would ever listen to. But she needed to find out more about Doctor Jesse Granger and she knew exactly who to ask.

* * *

><p>Stahl was sleeping soundly in bed when her blackberry rung. She picked it up and checked the caller ID. It was her partner Morris.<p>

"I was sleeping."

"_You're gonna want to hear this. The tail we put on Dr Granger? They just called. Guess where she was having dinner tonight? Clay Morrow's."_

"SAMCRO's president."

_"Yep. They just saw her leave on the back of Jackson's Teller's bike."_

Stahl felt her face breaking into a smile. She knew it. "Guess the good doctor has been hiding a dirty little secret."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I realised that i had completely forgotten Piney and Juice in my previous chapter! That is now corrected. Once again, I want to say thank you to all of you reading this story and to all the reviewers double thanks because it puts a huge smile on my face when I read you!<strong>_


	20. Those who tell the truth shall live

**CHAPTER XX**

**Those who tell the truth shall live forever -**

Jesse turned off the steaming water and walked out of the shower, drying off with a towel before sliding into her favorite short peacock blue nightdress. After they'd come back dinner, Jesse had felt too wired to sleep so she decided to take a hot shower to wash away the long day. Her mind kept going back to what Gemma Teller had told her about asking for the truth. That had resonated with Jesse but for reasons the woman wouldn't have known about.

The fact was that Jesse had known for a while that if she really wanted a future with Jax, there would have to be some truth revealed. _She_ would have to tell him the truth about who she was, be completely honest about her past. What tonight had helped her realise was that not only did she need to be honest with the man she loved but she also _wanted_ to. When the feds had showed up, she'd been so scared that she would be found out. Her first instinct had been to confide into Jax but then she had realised he wouldn't understand why she was so scared of talking to the feds because he didn't know the truth.

It was a risk but it was the one she was willing to take. It was the only way their couple could work in the long term. Full disclosure. Jax letting her into his world, introducing her to everyone who mattered to him had finished convincing her that she had to come clean. She had meant every word, she'd said to Gemma. Jax had helped her so much since she'd met him. She felt that had a new lease on life and it was all thanks to Jackson Teller. The least she could do was give him he truth in return.

Jesse finished drying her hair and pulled up into a low pony tail, before walking back into the bedroom. Jax was already in bed writing in his journal. She loved how at ease they were with each other after such a short time. It felt so natural too. She stood watching him tenderly for a moment before he noticed her and flashed her his most charming smile. One of her favorite things about him.

"Hey, you okay?"

She nooded, taking a few steps before she sat at the end of the bed."There's something I need to talk to you about, Jax."

He frowned and closed his journal, setting it on the nightstand as he straightened up. He didn't ask any questions, he just locked eyes on her, waiting for her to speak in her own time.

"Your mum said something to me tonight."

"Look, Jesse, whatever she said to you..."

Jesse raised her hand to stop him. "All she said was that I should ask you for the truth. But what I have come to realise is that I can't ask you for the truth if I don't give it to you. There are some things about me and my past I haven't told you, Jax."

He had known that for a while now. Even before she had told him about her ex-husband, he'd guessed there were a lot of things about Jesse he didn't know. He had never asked because there were a lot of things about him she didn't know either. Some that she could never know. He nodded, encouraging her to continue "I know."

"I want to be honest with you Jax. I just- a lot of people could get hurt."

"You can trust me, Jesse."

She took a deep breath and decided it was time. "Sarah. My real name is Sarah Emerson."

She looked at him and could see the confusion on his face. She could tell he hadn't been expecting that but then having your girlfriend tell you she's been living under a fake identity isn't the kind of things you come to expect. Before he could ask any questions, she continued her story.

"I told you that my husband was dead. What I did not tell you was how he died. I met Nick my first year in college. He was very different from anyone I'd met before. We started dating and it got serious very quickly. My parents had been dead for a few years and after my brother died, him and his family became my family. So when he asked me to marry him in senior year, I said yes. The plan was for him to get a job while I went to med school. But a few months after we got married, his father had a vascular accident and we agreed I'd defer med school for a year so we could move and he could help out with his father transport business in Boston. That's when everything changed, when _he_ changed. He became sullen, distant. He was constantly stressed and when he was home….it was like I didn't exist. When I tried talking to him about it, he would just close up. And then one day, he just snapped and he hit me. He promised it was a mistake, that he didn't know what I came over him and that it would never happen again. And I believed him. What I didn't know at the time was that his father's business was just a front they used to smuggle drugs past the Canadian border and that Nick was in charge of running the operation."

As she told Jax her story, she felt herself reliving those awful moments that she had worked so hard to forget. She felt tears falling down her cheek and quickly wiped them off. She had to get the whole story out, she couldn't crack now.

"That's why he'd changed. Taking over the operations took its toll on him and he took it out on me. By the time I found out, it was too late, I was trapped. The beatings were almost a daily thing by then. He'd cut me off from my friends, I had no one to turn to for help. He didn't even care about who knew or not and I was so ashamed that most days I didn't even leave the house. Anyway, one day we were at his parent's house for dinner. I remember being in the kitchen and his father came to talk to me and I just- I couldn't lie anymore. So I told him everything. He held me and told me not to worry, that he would take care of everything. And silly me I believed him. I didn't see him take Nick to the side. But when they were done, Nick told me we were going home. He didn't say anything in the car but I could see how angry he was. When we got to the house, he came at me straight away, yelling obscenities. His father had talked to him alright. He had told him that Nick was disgracing the family and that if he was going to beat his wife, he should at least make sure she knew how to shut her mouth. He kept yelling that he was going to kill me that way he'd be rid of me. When he was done, he stood up and just started taking off his clothes to go to bed, as if nothing happened. As if he didn't just leave me bruised and hurt on the floor. "

She looked up at Jax and saw how clenched his jaw was. If she hadn't known him, she would have been scared by the rage in his eyes.

"That's when I remembered the gun he had bought me for protection. I opened my drawers and I took it. He turned around and saw me pointing a gun at him. And he-he just laughed at me, he laughed and he turned back saying I was too weak and stupid to even dare. And I shot him. I shot my husband four times in the back."

"Jesus Christ." He whispered taking her hand in his.

"I don't know how long I watched him laying there. When I finally realised what I'd done, I called the police. They arrested me. Told me that since I had shot him in the back, the DA would likely file charges. i thought my life was over. But I was so numb by then I don't think I even cared what happened to me anymore. Anyway, the next day, the DEA showed up. As it turns out, the feds had been about to indict Nick and his father. By making my house a crime scene, I had just given them access to Nick's black books and dirty cash. So they offered me a deal. Full immunity and witness protection if I testified against the Deluca's."

Jax could barely believe what he was hearing. He had known that Jesse was hiding something but he would have never in a million years guessed what Jesse had gone through. When he thought about the way he'd met Jesse, he realised the cruel irony of it all.

"They set me up in Illinois until the trial. I don't know how they did it, but within a few weeks, Nick's family found me, they killed a Marshall that was looking out for me. A mother of four. I managed to get away but I knew that they wouldn't stop until they found me and they'd kill anyone who got in their way. So I ran. I took a bus and I put as much distance between me and Boston as I could. I drifted for a few months, started using. Then I met this woman, a doctor. She… she helped me get clean and put my life back on track. She introduced me to this group. Women who were once victims and who help other women disappear. They come from all walks of life, doctors, teacher, lawyers, judges, even cops. That's when Sarah Emerson died and Jesse Granger was born. They helped me get a new identity, change my name, my past. They even got me new school records so I could get into med school. They said it was important to stay as close to the truth as possible so most of what I told you about me is some version of that. I wasn't born in Newark, my father was not in the army and my brother did not die in 09/11. I was born in Arlington Virginia, my dad was a marine and so was my brother. My parents were killed by a drunk driver when I was seventeen and my brother was killed by a IED in Afghanistan my senior year in college. I think it was the hardest part of it all, pretending all the time to be someone else. I tripped, fell back into drugs and then realised I had to let go of who I used to be if I ever wanted to build a life. So I got clean again, and buried myself into my work. As the years went by, it got easier and I finally let go of Sarah and really became Jesse. That girl I used to be, she's just a vague memory now."

"I had no idea. I'm so sorry." He said meaning it more than anything else in his life. Jax felt like shit. There she was laying it all down for him and he was lying to her about everything. When he had staged his meeting with her, he had only been trying to protect his club, but now that she had told him everything, he realised how hurt she would likely be if she ever found out. He would lose her for sure.

"None of it is your fault Jax. And I'm sorry for not telling you the truth sooner. The thing is those women… what they did for me… they saved my life Jax, that's why no one can ever find out about them. Not only because they broke the law but because Nick's family is ruthless. They would kill anyone who got between them and me."

Jax pulled her towards him and cupped her face in his hands. "Babe, I won't let anything happen to you, you know that, right?"

She smiled sadly, touching his hand with hers. "I know you mean that. But you don't know the Deluca's. This isn't just about me anymore. People have already been hurt because of what I did… The last thing I want is for anyone else to get caught in the middle of all this, for you to be caught in it."

"I'm not getting caught anywhere. "He insisted meaning every work. "You did what you had to. You had no choice."

"But I did have a choice. I had several choices actually. There's no grey area here Jax. I chose to pull the trigger. I killed him to save myself. I took a man's life... I'm not sure what that makes me. "

It physically hurt him to see her feeling so bad about what she had done. She was just an innocent who had gotten in over her head and yet had managed to make it out. She was stronger than she gave herself credit for but Jax still wished he could protect her from that pain, make her understand that she had nothing to be sorry for. "It makes you a survivor, Jesse. It was always going to be you or him babe. You made the right choice."

"Maybe. But I still have to live with it, the guilt, the shame... It never leaves me."

"That's why you didn't want a gun." he stated, coming to a new realisation.

She bit her lip, nodding. " i don't ever want to have to make that choice again."

"Come here." He whispered pulling her into his arms, and holding tightly onto her. "I'm so sorry you had to go through this babe. But I promise you one thing, no one will ever hurt you like that again."

She didn't say anything for a moment until he felt something wet on his chest and realised she was crying. He kissed her hair softly. "Jesse."

She finally pulled out of his embrace and he reluctantly let her. "I'm so sorry Jax ... I didn't mean to lay this all on you like this. It's just that that past nearly destroyed me Jax. I went through hell and back and now I finally feel like I can really leave that part of my life behind for good. I never thought that was possible…I never thought I'd be able to trust someone again, let alone fall in love. Until I met you.

Jax hadn't thought it was possible for him to feel any worse. But hearing Jesse confess her feelings like this just stirred the guilt he felt about his own lie. "Jesse…"

This time she was the one to cup his face in her hands. "You brought me back Jax. That's why I wanted you to know the truth. Because I want you to know that I trust you. You don't have to ask you anything because I trust you. And that there isn't any truth that would change that."

"I love you so much babe." He said as he leaned into her kissing her wishing with all his being that they would never have to put that statement to test.

* * *

><p><strong>So you now all know Jesse's secret, were any of you surprised at all? Disappointed? Please let me know what you thought, good or not, it's always appreciated!<strong>


	21. Blurred Lines

**CHAPTER XXI**

**-Blurred Lines-**

"So, tell me everything. How was dinner at casa de Teller-Morrow?"

Jesse turned to her friend with a beaming smile. It had been a couple of days since the dinner at Gemma's house and things with her and Jax had been great but she had been so busy at work that she hadn't been able to catch up with Janine until today. They had finally managed to meet up at the cafeteria for a quick coffee. " Believe it or not, it was actually nice. I'm the first one surprised."

"So what just the average Sunday dinner?"

She took a sip of the dark brew before answering "Actually, yes. It was. I know it sounds… weird but it was just a regular family dinner. With lots of leather. And tattoos And beer. Oh and an actual porn star. But you know there are genuinely nice people."

Janine played with the straw of her smoothie. "Who would have thought? Guessing things are working out with the matriarch then?"

Jesse thought about her answer for a moment. "We talked. I think we may even have found some common ground. I don't know. It's quite hard to get a read on the woman"

"I'm glad everything worked out."

"Well, I actually I wanted to thank you. You were right, you know. You told me I needed to let someone in and I'm glad you pushed me to give Jax another shot." She meant it. Not only was she completely in love with Jackson but ever since she had told him the truth, she felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulder. Her past had suddenly become a lot easier to carry, as if she was no longer alone with her burden. It was a wonderful feeling.

"I'm happy for you Jesse. You deserve it. Now you and your hot biker need to come to dinner with me and Mark sometime. And I'm not taking no for an answer. You might be some biker chick now but I'm still the first friend you made in this town."

"Biker chick really?"

"What?"

"I'll talk to Jax and we'll schedule something." She was pretty sure it would be a hard sell but she hoped she could convince him. She looked at her watch and realised it was time for her to get back to the surgical floor. "I have to get going, I have a bypass at 11 but I'll catch you later."

* * *

><p>Wayne Unser made his way back to his office, begrudgingly holding a cup of herbal tea. It smell horridly but his wife had insisted he tried it for his health. As if some herbal tea was going to help with terminal cancer. But he hadn't been able to refuse her so now he drunk two cups a day of the mixture and he was slowly getting used to it. It was what he called an acquired taste. He crossed Officer Perkins's path. "Oh, Chief, Gemma Teller-Morrow is in your office?"<p>

Wayne let out a long sigh. That couldn't be good. He nodded his thanks to the young officer and slowly made his way towards his office. He found her comfortably sitting in a chair, filing her already perfectly manicured nails "Hey Gemma?"

She spun around in her chair, flashing him one of those enigmatic smiles she was fond of. "Morning Wayne. How 's the health?"

He raised an non existent eyebrow but couldn't help the smile on his face. She just had this effect on him. "Health is fine sweetheart." He took his seat before continuing. "What are you doing here?"

She put away her nail filer, uncrossing her legs and straightened in her chair. "If I said I was in the neighborhood, would you believe me?"

He sniggered at her manipulation attempt.

"I need a favor."

"I kind of figured that one out already."

She took a beat before talking again. "Jax has been seeing this girl. A doctor?"

"Yeah, I know."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I bumped into him the other day. We…talked"

"Didn't realise you two were so much about the sharing." She mocked.

If only she knew. Wanting to steer clear of his recent dealings with Jax, he moved on. "What about this girl?"

"Something doesn't add up with her. I can't put my finger on it but something isn't right."

He scratched his bolding head in confusion. "You care to be more specific here sweetheart?"'

"If I had the details I wouldn't be here, would I? It's just a bad feeling I have. She's been in town what a minute and she's already on first name basis with your deputy and my son."

"Gemma, did you ever think that maybe she's just a nice girl who makes friend easily?

"Don't talk to me like I'm some idiot, Wayne. This isn't some overbearing mother bullshit. If that girl is going to be in my son's life Wayne, I want to be sure she's who she says she is."

"What do you want me to do Gemma, a background check?" He snorted with a smile. It had been meant as a joke of course but he saw straight away how seriously she was taking it.

"Actually, that is exactly what I want you to do."

"Are you insane? I can't go around running background checks just on anyone based on some ill placed hunch you have.

"I'm asking an old friend a favor, here Wayne."

"And I'm going to do you a favor Gemma, and give you some advice. Talk to your son. "

"You don't think I already tried that? So you're not going to help me?"

"I just did."

She pursed her lips in annoyance and stood up. "Well thank you Chief. You're a real peach." She spat before stomping out of his office.

Unser shook his head in disbelief and decided to warn Jax. Gemma was nothing if not persistent and she wouldn't give up. He picked up his phone and dialed the young VPs number. Jax picked up straight away.

"Hey son. Just thought you'd like to know Gemma came to see me this morning. She was asking questions about your girl."

"_Jesus Christ."_

"We both know your mother Jax. She's just going to keep digging until she finds something. You need to talk to her."

"_That's not an option."_

"Look, I told her I couldn't help her but if I don't, she's just going to go somewhere else to find the answers she wants. I understand that you don't want to tell her everything but you maybe you can give her some version of the truth here Son."

"_I'll deal with her. Anything new on our ATF friends?"_

"They went back to Lodi. I hate to say it though but I don't think it's the last we've seen of them."

* * *

><p>Stahl slammed down her phone after a rather frustrating conversation with her bosses. As usual, the power that be who had no clue on how to effectively lead a case were getting antsy and hiding behind budget excuses. They were about to pull the plug on her investigation if she couldn't get anything on the Sons True IRA connections within the next few days. She knew the only way she could connect the guns to the Irish was by leaning on the MC but for that she needed leverage. It was like having all right the cards in her hands but having to wait for another player to play before she could lay them down. Throwing her pen back on her desk, she called out to her partner. "Morris, where are you on that background check?"<p>

He covered his phone with his hand interrupting his conversation. "Still working on it but so far she checks out."

"What's the hold up?"

He shrugged in response. "Some sealed records in Colorado. We're trying to see if we can get them unsealed. "

"We still got the tail on her? "

"Goes to work and back mostly. And spends all her free time with Jackson Teller."

"There's a shocker." She ranted "Keep on her. I want to know everything Dr Granger does and who she does it with."

"You really think she knows anything about the guns?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm pretty sure she has no idea. She's an outsider and MCs don't make it a habit to share details of their business with outsiders. But if I can't get to the sons directly I'm thinking that maybe we can get somehow get to them by using Jesse Granger to my advantage."

"How?"

She opened her drawer taking out her gun and badge. "That's what I need to figure out. But first, I need that background check."

"Are we telling Charming about this? "

She stood up, holstering her weapon before she answered. "No. Deputy Chief Hale seems to have developed a soft spot for our little ingénue. I don't want him anywhere near this.

"And where are you going?"

"I think now is the time for me to pay a new visit to the good doctor. "

* * *

><p>Jax couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something was about to go very wrong. Ever since, Jesse had told him the truth about who she was, he had been paralyzed by some irrational fear that something bad was about to happen. That feeling had kept him up the last couple of days but he couldn't see a way out. He had tried to keep it all together, to ensure that he could protect his club and his girl at the same time but now he was starting to wonder if he had been a fool to believe he could pull it off. And now he was stuck and there was no end in sight in this particular tunnel. He had lied to his club, lied to the woman he loved, lied to everyone really. The walls were now closing in and he knew it was only a matter of time before someone or everyone found out about his web of lies.<p>

"How about you pull your head out of your ass and help me here kid?" he heard Piney mumble behind him.

Jax had gone on a break ten minutes prior and had lost track of time. He puffed on his cigarette one last time before he threw his butt onto the parking lot and made his way towards the old man with a smile.

"What do you need?"

"Take that blow torch would ya?"

"You sure it's a good idea to handle a fucking blow torch so close to you oxygen tank?"

"Who said_ I_ was going to handle it?" Piney sniggered.

Jax put on his protection goggles and lit the blow torch and started working on the bike as Piney looked on.

"So Everything alright with you kid?

"Yeah. Why?"

"This girl you brought to your mums the other day…"

"Jesse."

"Yeah, Jesse. She seems like a nice gal. A doctor too."

Piney had barely acknowledged Jesse's presence at the diner. He had only been there because Gemma had insisted so Jax couldn't help but chuckle at he comment. "Surprised you were awake!"

Piney gave him a pointed look . "I'm guessing she ain't just some pussy you're parading around, uh?"

"No she's not. Wish Gemma would get that though."

Ever since JT had die, Piney had been watching over Jax, dispensing some degree of fatherly advice and tough love. Jax had always been able to seek his counsel in ways he hadn't felt comfortable doing with his step father.

"Your mum. She's set in her ways, like the rest of us old fools. You won't change her."

"So you got some brilliant advice as to what am I supposed to do here old man?"

"Be a man and handle your shit, Jackson. That's what you do! That's what _he_ would have done."

* * *

><p>Jesse walked out of her patient's room and made her way to the nurse's station to hand over the patient chart.<p>

"Those are Mr. Tomlinson's post ops, can you upload them and please make sure Dr. Andrews reviews them before he leaves."

The nurse took the file with a smile. "No problem."

"Doctor Granger?"

Jesse didn't need to turn around to know exactly who was standing behind her. She turn to face the woman not even bothering to hide her annoyance at the drop in. "Agent Stahl. What are you doing here?

"I had some follow up questions. I was hoping we could have a quick chat."

"Now is not really a good time. I'm working."

"I won't be long I promise."

Jesse let out a breath, there wasn't a good way to say no without creating a scene and that was really the last thing she wanted. Sensing an in, Stahl pushed. "Is there anywhere we can talk?

"We can talk in my office. Miranda, if anyone looks for me, I'll be in my office."

The nurse nodded as Jesse reluctantly led Stahl to her office.

* * *

><p>Gemma walked out of the elevators and made her way towards the nurse's station.<p>

"Can I help you?"

Gemma spun on her stilettos and found herself face to face with a sour looking petite woman looking at her, eyes filled with judgmental and superiority. Gemma gave her a once over, not even bothering to be discreet about it. She noticed the badge on her jacket designated her as Chief Administrator. Great. An overzealous paper pusher, that was all she needed. "I'm here to see Doctor Granger."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"It's a family matter."

Her eyes never leaving Gemma, the woman spoke to the young nurse behind the desk who was observing the two older woman bemused. "Miranda, do you know where Doctor Granger is?"

"She just stepped into her office with a visitor."

The administrator threw Gemma a self satisfied look.

"It's okay. I can wait." Gemma replied smugly before walking over to a row of seats.

Margaret pursed her lips and turned to the nurse. "When you see Doctor Granger, please ask her to see me."

"Sure."The nurse nodded affirmatively as she watched her superior walk away.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks so much for your reviewsfavs./follows. This story has been struggling with the review love but there are a few reviewers that have been there for chapter after chapter letting me know where I got it right or not. I want to really thank them for helping me and for keeping me going! You know who you are! Also to the guest reviewers that I don't get to thank personally, thanks so much for the support, it is greatly appreciated by this writer!**_

_**Also, as we enter the last act of this story, I am conflicted about the ending I originally had in mind so I'm asking for opinions. Sequel or no Sequel?**_

_**Finally, I already have the next chapter ready just reviewing it at the moment, so will post either tomorrow or during the week end! As always, please R&R!**_


	22. Standing Still

**CHAPTER XXII**

**-Standing Still -**

Jesse had taken her seat at her desk and was waiting for Stahl finish her phone conversation. They had barely reached the office when the Agent's phone had rung and she'd thrown Jesse an apologetic look before answering.

Jesse was struggling to hide her annoyance at the interruption, but she decided not to let the other woman get under her skin. Stahl finally said her goodbyes before pocketing her phone.

"I'm sorry, Doctor. I know your time is precious. I just had to take this."

"Frankly, Agent, I'm not sure what more you need from me." Jesse interrupted, aware she was being rude. "I have told you and Deputy Hale everything I know. Several times actually and I really don't appreciate the ambush"

Stahl raised her hands in a conciliatory attempt. "No ambush, I promise. I'm actually not here to ask questions about the shooting."

"Then, why are you here?"

Stahl paused for dramatic effect. "What can you tell me about your association with the Sons of Anarchy?"

"I don't have an association with them."

"Really? I find that hard to believe considering you are in a relationship with their VP."

The first question that popped through Jesse's mind was how the hell did that woman knew that? They weren't hiding by any means but they weren't exactly flaunting their relationship all over town either. "I'm sorry but I really don't to see how that's any of your business."

"Well, you just never mentioned it before."

"Believe it or not Agent Stahl, I don't make it a habit of sharing details of my personal life with strangers." Jesse snapped.

Not departing from her obnoxious smile, Stahl soldiered on. "How long have you and Mr. Teller been seeing each other?"

"Again, I don't see how my personal life is any of your business."

Stahl decided to take a new angle and pointed a finger at the diploma hanging on Jesse's wall. "I see you went to Med School in Colorado, is that right?"

Alarm bells went out in Jesse's brain. The woman had asked the question casually enough, but the smug smile she sported on her face told Jesse this wasn't just an innocent question. "Yes. I did."

"I've never been to Colorado. I hear great things."

Despite the perfunctory smile plastered on her face, Jesse didn't miss the double entendre in the Agent's voice. "Agent Stahl do you have any more questions? Because if you don't I'd really like to get back to my work."

"Dr. Granger, did you know that the MC is actually a criminal organization suspected amongst other things of supplying illegal guns in Northern California? "

Jesse swallowed hard trying to maintain a poker face but Stahl saw right through it.

"I didn't think so."

"Agent Stahl, I think I'm going to have to put an end to this conversation."

"Dr Granger..."

"No! I have been patient with you Agent Stahl and I have answered all of your questions but I will not let you invade my private life and I do not appreciate your methods."

"And I don't appreciate you wasting police time Dr."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"How do you call lying about your relationship with the prime suspect of a murder investigation of which _you_ happen to be the only witness. How did he convince you to help Doctor? Was the plan always for you walk in there to distract Frank Donowitz and Bobby Oaks? "

Jesse felt like she had just been punched in the stomach. That couldn't be true, could it? Stahl must have gotten it wrong. She had to be making things up to play with Jesse's mind. Because the alternative was just too painful to fathom. Jesse stood up in a flash and walked to the door of her office, opening it wide. "This conversation is over. You need to leave. Now. "

Stahl stood up, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder. "It was nice seeing you Doctor. I'm sure I'll be seeing you again very soon." She said with a smirk before Jesse slammed the door shut behind her.

Jesse leaned against the door, and let herself sink to the floor as she realised what had just happened. Unanswered questions burned endlessly in her brain; her inner voice was screaming in silent anguish and betrayal as she held her head in her hands. As much as she wanted to dismiss Stahl's accusations as blatant lies, somewhere deep inside, she knew there was at least part of it that was true, even if she couldn't quite admit it yet. This was the man she loved. The man she had told everything to. The man who had shared her bed not a few hours before. The man who had been lying to her since the very first time they'd met.

She shut her eyes willing her tears away, she couldn't fall apart. Not now. She had to know for sure and then she had to decide what she was going to do. She stood up, removing her blouse and throwing it on the back of her chair before taking her bag and jacket out of her locker. She quickly walked out of the office, locking it behind her and made her way to the elevators passing by the nurse's station.

"Dr. Granger, Mrs. Murphy wanted to see you."

"I'm sorry, I'm not feeling very well. Tell her I had to go home and please get Dr. Andrews to cover for me."

"Of course. You rest Doctor."

"Thank you."

The nurse suddenly remembered the other woman that had been looking for the doctor but when she looked at the seats in the waiting area, she realised the woman had gone, so she just shrugged it off and put it out of her mind.

* * *

><p>It only took a few minutes for Jesse to get to the police station from the hospital. She parked her car in a hurry and climbed up the stairs, walking through the automated doors in a flash before making a bee line for Hale's office.<p>

After her conversation with Stahl, she had needed to know for sure, she had needed to hear the truth and she had known that Hale was the only person she was likely to get that from. She went past the reception without stopping, ignoring the young officer who was manning the desk as he calling after her. She didn't stop. She had come here to get answers and by god, she would get them. She reached Hale's office and opened the door not even bothering with a knock. Thankfully, he was alone, typing reports on his computer. "Jesse?"

She heard the young officer catching up with her. He threw an apologetic look to the Deputy. "I'm sorry Deputy, she just wouldn't listen."

Hale stood up and held out his hand. "It's fine Rogers. You can leave us."

He walked around his desk and closed the door before turning back to Jesse who had yet to say a single word. "Jesse, what's the matter?"

"Are Jackson Teller and his club, the suspects in your investigation?"

"Who told you that? It's confidential information."

"So it's true?"

"Jesse, what's going on here?"

"Why don't you ask Agent Stahl what is going on?"

He frowned in confusion. "I haven't seen or heard from Agent Stahl in the last couple of days. What happened?"

"She just showed up at the hospital making all sorts of accusations about me and my involvement in the shooting!"

"Jesse, I promise you I had no idea. But I don't understand why she would accuse you of anything?"

Jesse looked at Hale until he finally came to the realization. "Jax Teller is the man you've been seeing. Jesse, whatever Stahl did, I am very sorry but you need to trust me and stay away from Jax Teller and the Sons."

She sniggered. "Trust you. I think I already tried that. I trusted you when you told me you would get the men responsible, I trusted you when you told me no one would ever know I was there in the first place. So forgive me, if right now, I don't trust anyone."

"Jesse, wait!"

Unser watched bewildered as Jesse practically ran out of the station. He walked to Hale's office. "What happened with the doctor?"

* * *

><p>Gemma parked her car on the Teller-Morrow lot but didn't get out of the car. She was still processing what she had just seen. Her intentions had only been to have a conversation with the doctor. If she couldn't get answers from Unser, she figured maybe showing some goodwill with the young woman would get her somewhere. She had been waiting outside of the office for a while and had needed to use the bathroom. When she'd walked out, she had been shocked to see the federal agent that had showed up at the garage the week before asking questions about the club, exit Jesse's office. And now she knew it definitely brought her sons' relationship with that woman in question. She was looking for a logical explanation, something that would help make sense of what she had just seen beyond the obvious but she had yet to find a satisfactory one. She finally took off her seat belt and jumped off her SUV to be confronted by a furious Jax.<p>

"What is your problem?" he shrieked, getting in her face. "I know you went to see Unser about Jesse, mum. You have got to stop asking questions."

She pursed her lips trying to contain her anger and seethed. "Yeah, and why is that? You worried about what answers I might find, Jackson?"

"No. Because I already know everything I need to know."

She cackled "Really? And you know that for a fact?"

"Yes. I do. Not everyone's got some deep dark secrets like you do mum. "

Lowering her voice, Gemma glowered. "Then you mind telling me why your little girlfriend is having secret meetings with the feds in her office?"

"What?"

"I was there Jackson! I saw the fed who came in here the other day walk right out of her office and then Jesse came out."

Unser had been right. They weren't rid of the ATF just yet, but with Gemma involved now, it was more dangerous than ever. "Jesus. This isn't what you think Mum."

"You knew? Jackson, what the hell is going on? What are you doing with the feds?"

"I can't explain it to you mum. But you _have_ to trust me."

Gemma noticed Clay coming out of the garage and making his way towards them, eyeing them cautiously. "What's going on?"

Gemma turned to face him, touching her bangs nervously. "Nothin'. Just having a mother-son talk."

He chuckled. "Yeah? Then by all means, keep going as long as you leave me out of it." He kissed her tenderly before turning to his step son."We're at the table in an hour, VP."

Jax nodded and waited until his stepfather was out of earshot before turning a pleading look to his mother. "Mum, you need to stay out of this. Please."

Gemma put her hands on her sons arms, searching for the right words to get through to him."Your father was a good man Jackson. He had a real vision for this club. The brotherhood, family, roots. All part of that vision. Somewhere along the line, he changed. His vision got blurred. He started lying to his club, to me and I think on some level even to himself. There's no coming back from that Jax. When you start lying, secrets pile up until you don't know what the truth is anymore. Like you said, I should know. I warned you. I told you not to lie to your club Jax. Whatever you are hiding from them, it has to stop. "

His phone started ringing. His blue eyes still staring daggers at Gemma, he checked the called ID and realised it was Unser again. He picked up."Now is not a good time."

"Well I'm sorry, but it's important. The doctor was just here Jax. She knows son."

* * *

><p><strong>Shorter Chapter than usual – But it brings us nicely onto the rest of this story.<strong>

**And Yes, I do realise I'm leaving you hanging on a cliffhanger over the week end!**

**So please don't hesitate to vent through the reviews !**


	23. Nobody's home

**Chapter XXIII**

**Nobody's home**

"_Hi, you've reached Jesse, I'm not available, but please leave me a message and I will call you back."_

"_Jesse, it's Jax. Please call me. Please….Babe please call me."_

It was his seventh message. Or eighth, she couldn't quite tell. She'd lost track. In the last few hours, he had tried to call her at least a dozen times, leaving messages pleading for her to call him back. And just as she had done with the others, Jesse pressed the delete button. She didn't want to hear him. She didn't want to hear more excuse, more lies.

After her talk with Hale, she'd put herself on automatic pilot. This was something she had done many times before. Pack up and run before anyone could catch up. Stay one step ahead always. She wasn't thinking anymore, she was acting purely on instinct, primal fear driving her. She had gone home and packed a bag. Only the bare necessities. She was used to it by now. She'd hit several ATMs maxing out her credit cards and taking as much as she could from her current accounts. Then, she'd gassed up her car and hit the road. She had spent several hours driving before she finally stopped to eat. As she exited the diner, she'd noticed the adjacent dive bar. It reminded her of the Old Albion, the place that had started all this. And just as she'd known that night, as she pushed the doors to the bar, she known it was a bad idea. But just as she did that night, she did it anyway.

"You okay, there sweetheart? You've been staring at this drink for the past hour."

Jesse looked up flushed, embarrassed at being caught off guard. The bar keep, a woman in her late fifties who had clearly seen better days was watching her with genuine concern as she cleared glasses. Jesse managed a weak smile. "I'm fine thanks."

The woman smiled, obviously not buying it. "Bad day?"

"Bad life." Jesse retorted despite herself.

"Come on, a girl like you?" The woman pointed to her up and down to make her point. "What do you know about a bad life?"

Jesse sighed as she answered. "You'd be surprised."

The woman's attention was caught by a couple of customers at the end of the bar who asked her to turn on the TV so they could watch the football game and Jesse resumed her contemplation of the shot of tequila sitting in front of her. She took the glass between her fingers, playing with it for a moment. She heard the woman walk back to her "I'm Charlene by the way" She announced as she extended a hand.

Jesse looked at the extended hand for a moment, trying to figure who she was supposed to be now before shaking it. "Jesse. My name is Jesse."

"How long?" Charlene asked as she nodded to the drink.

"How long what?"

The woman sniggered as if it was an obvious question. "How long you been sober?"

"Oh, that. 34 months 9 days…and 17 hours. Drugs not booze." Jesse stated, not even bothering to lie. Twelve steppers could usually recognize each other, in an almost uncanny way.

"15 years. Drugs and booze. Men too but that's a different story."

Jesse frowned. "A recovering alcoholic running a bar, that's ironic."

"Story of my life, sweetheart." She paused, probably wondering if she should push the conversation further. "You know, whatever brought you here today, it's probably not worth it."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Jesse agreed with a nod before raising the glass to her lips and downing it in one go. She looked up and was weirdly affected by the sad eyes the woman was casting on her.

"Feel better?"

Jesse let out a sad laugh. "I'm about five shots shy of better."

"Sweetheart, whatever it is that is eating away at you like that, you ain't going to find the answers at the bottom of a tequila bottle."

"That's just it. I'm not looking for answers. I just want to forget the ones I got. Another one please and keep them coming."

Charlene shook her head sadly but as any good bar keep, she poured Jesse another drink anyway. The two men who had been entralled in the game yelled as their team scored a touch down. She remembered all those friday nigts spent watching football with her family. Her dad and her brother were absolute fanatics. Her brother had played varsity in high school and had hoped to get a scholarship for college but in the end he had decided to follow in his father footsteps and joined the Marines. She still somehow followed the football season, it gave her connection to her family. As she watched another touch down, something suddenly clicked in her mind.

" Hey Charlene, what's the date today?"

" Pretty sure it's the 14th. Got somewhere to be?"

" No, I just remembered something."

Charlene set a shot in front of her " There you go."

"Actually, i think you're right. I'm gonna switch to club soda."

"Coming right up."

* * *

><p>Jax jumped off his bike and walked rapidly to the house. As soon as Unser had told him that Jesse knew about his connection to Frank Donowitz and Bobby Oaks murders, Jax had tried to track Jesse down to talk to her. He had tried repeatedly to call her to know where she was but she wasn't answering, probably filtering his calls. He'd left her voicemails both on her mobile and her office phone, even though knew she wasn't at the hospital; He had called the hospital to confirm. So, he'd taken the short ride to her house, hoping she'd be there. He noticed her car wasn't in the driveway, but he still hoped she'd be home because if she wasn't, he truly had no idea where to find her.<p>

As he got to the door, he knocked loudly. "Jesse, open up, please. I just need to talk to you."

He waited for an answer leaning against the door to hear any noise inside but all he could hear was the sound of his own heart beating. He took out his phone and pressed redial. He had known it was only a matter of time before it all exploded in his face. He should have told her the truth when he had the chance but he hadn't. And now the very thought that he might losing was making him sick. He could also feel the walls closing in with the club. Now that Gemma had seen Stahl with Jesse, he was very aware that he was on borrowed time. He had been naive enough to think he could keep the truth from his club and from Jesse; he should have known that the truth would eventually catch up with him.

"Babe, please open the door."

He still didn't get an answer and cursed his own stupidity for insisting she install a stronger dead bolt. There was no way he could pick the lock from the front door but he might be able to with the backdoor. He walked around the house and as he tried the door, he noticed it wasn't even closed. Letting himself in, he decided to let his presence known. "Jesse, it's me!"

He explored each room but it house was empty. She wasn't here. He went back into the bedroom and opened Jesse's wardrobe and immediately noticed two bags were missing. The empty hangers told him she had taken some clothing. He took the few steps to her chest of drawers and opened them one by one noticing items that were missing. She had clearly been here. She had packed up her bags and left. He let himself fall onto the bed they had shared almost every night since they'd started this thing, burying his face in his hands, cursing himself for screwing up the best thing that ever happened to him. Joining up his hands over his mouth, he racked his brain, trying to figure out what his next move should be. He knew that if he really lost her today, he would regret it for the rest of his life. She was the first woman who'd really meant something to him. He had thought he had been in love before but it was nothing compared to the way he felt about Jesse and the crippling fear he currently felt that he had lost her.

"Jax, you in here?"

Recognizing Unser's voice, Jax made his way to the backdoor to talk to the old man.

"Did you hear anything?"

Jax shook his head, swallowing hard.

"Any idea of where she might be? She got any family, friends she would turn to?"

"No."

"You think she'd split?" Faced with Jax's silence, Unser took a deep breath. "Hate to be the one to say this son, but you know you're walking a dangerous line here right? If Stahl knows that the doctor is a witness and she knows the two of you are involved, she's going to try to use her against you and the club."

"I know."

"You also know how dangerous things could get if the club got wind of this?"

Jax ran his hand in his hair frustratingly. "I can't think about any of that right now, Chief. I got to find Jesse before this shit blows up in all our faces."

"I can put out an APB on her car."

"No. I want her to come back not scare the shit out of her."

"Alright, well I'll drive around. See if I can find her."

Jax nodded and watched the old man make his way back to his car before pulling out his phone and redialed her again. She had turned her phone off and he went straight to voice mail.

"_Hi you've reached Jesse, I'm not available, but please leave me a message and I will call you back."_

"Jesse, I'm sorry. I love you. I know you have zero reason to believe me now, but you have to let me explain. I am sorry I lied to you. I'm sorry that I hurt and I promise you that it will never happen again. Just please, Babe, call me back and talk to me, please."

* * *

><p>Jesse washed her mouth and splashed her face with cold water, trying to erase the fatigue in her face. She felt worn out and it wasn't even dark yet. The only thing that kept popping in her mind is how did I end up here? For the second time in the last few days, she had almost lost herself again, reverted back to the weak and scared woman she used to be. But she refused to be that woman. Not again. She just couldn't. And as the reality of her situation hit home, she knew that now more than ever she had to be stronger than ever. She checked her phone again, seeing a few more voicemails from Jax before throwing it back into her handbag. She exited the bathroom and walked back to her stool at the bar.<p>

"You alright, darlin'? You don't look so good."

"I'm okay thanks. Guess it's been a while since i've had tequila."

Jesse heard the door chime and Charlene turned her attention to the new comer.

"Well hello, Chief. It's been a while."

"Hello Charlene."

Jesse closed her eyes as she recognised the man's voice. She had a feeling he was there for her but did not turn around.

Charlene nodded towards the man. "What can I get you?"

"I'll have whatever she's having, thanks."

Unser walked up to Jesse, pointing to the stool next to hers. "You mind?"

She shook his head and as he sat, she voiced her suspicions. "Did you follow me here?"

"Nah, I was driving around, saw your car on the parking lot."

"One club soda for you Chief."

"Thank you sweetheart."

Sensing she was not welcome in this conversation, Charlene smiled and walked to the other side of the bar.

Unser sipped from his drink. " Jax is real worried about you."

Jesse had yet to fave the man. She was staring at the rows of bottles on the shelves in front of her. "He sent you here?"

"Like I said, I was driving around and saw your car but he is really torn up about everything that went down."

"You know, I'd heard rumours about you. How you turn a blind eye to whatever shady business they had. i guess those aren't just rumours."

"I do what I have to do to protect my town. Made my peace with what people are saying a long time ago. I accepted that this world we live in, it ain't black and white. Thing is Dr. they're not all bad men. Some of them are good men doing bad things."

Jesse sniggered in disbelief. "There's a difference?"

"In my book, yes. Look, i've know Jax since he was born. The club? It means everything to him. It's his legacy. But I watched him put it all on the line for you. It's gotta count for something right?"

" I don't know what you're asking me"

Unser scratch his head, looking for an answer. " Guess I'm just hoping you'll hear him out." he finished his drink and stood up. " I should get back to the station."

"Are you going to tell him where I am?"

" No sweetheart. Whatever decision you make...choice is yours." He concluded with a small wave before exiting.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Thanks for reading, i hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please don't hesitate to use the review box as a sounding board for your thoughts!<em>**


	24. Say something

**Chapter XXIV**

**Say something**

As soon as he heard the keys in the door, Jax rose to his feet. He had been pacing Jesse's living room for hours, waiting, hoping for her to finally come home until he finally slouched on the couch.

As she walked through the door into the room, she shifted her gaze on him but her eyes betraying no surprise. All he could see was the hurt of the betrayal and the disappointment.

"Jesus Jesse." He murmured as he expelled a breath. "You scared the shit out of me. Where have you been?"

She threw her bag and keys on the table and took off her jacket before she spoke and when she was calm, almost detached."Driving. I was all set to leave, you know; get the hell out of Charming. Away from you, away from all this mess. But for some reason, I kept driving around in circles and I realised that I didn't know where else to go. So I just went into a bar. To think." She walked around him maintaining her distances. "Why are you here Jax?"

"We need to talk."

"Yeah, we do." She voiced softly, biting her lip, trying to control the quiver in her voice. She put her hands on her hips, her eyes boring into him." So is it true? Did you kill those men?"

He ran his tongue over his lips, as he stared down, his hand massaging his neck. He was certain that when he answered the question, there would be a clear before and after in their relationship.

Her hands slipped from her hip in frustration. "It's a simple yes or no question, Jax."

"It's not as simple as that."

"Yes, it is!" She snapped, eyes flashing with sudden anger. "I just want answers, Jax. No more half truths, no more lies, just the absolute truth. Not the one you think I want to hear or the one I can handle. You _owe_ me at least that. So did you kill those men?"

He sighed loudly. "Yes."

"Jesus." Her hand flew to her forehead, running through her hair as she turned away from him.

"Those men beat and raped a seventeen year old kid for four straight days. Then they left her for dead in some ditch on the side of the road. Her father is a friend of the family. It had to be done. And I didn't lose sleep over it." He enounced with all the conviction in the world. "I'm sorry you were there Jesse, and I'm sorry you got involved in this shit. But that's all I'm sorry for."

Her back to him, she leaned on the kitchen island, her handsgripping the sides tightly. She had known it was true, but hearing him admit it made it all the more real. She hadn't been naïve enough to think him and his clubs were running a completely legitimate operation but she had never imagined it could be something like this.

"You know the advantage of taking some distance, Jax? It helps you find some perspective. Gives you some sort of clarity. I was sitting in that bar piecing back every moment since we met." She turned to face him again, her lips curling in a bitter smile. "It was you, wasn't it? You're the one who came into the bathroom that night, you knew I was there and you took my pass."

He nodded simply. There was no point denying any of it anymore.

"And then what?"

"I had to be sure you didn't know anything that could hurt the club. I had to get close to you."

"Did you follow me?"

"Yes."

"How long?"

"Two weeks."

"That night at the NA meeting, you messed with my car."

It wasn't a question, but he answered anyway. "Yes."

"What about the break in? Was that you too?"

She found the answer to that as he cast guilt-ridden eyes on her. She clasped her hands over her mouth, overcome with the raw pain of his betrayal. He knew how much every single word coming out of his mouth had just hurt her and it physically hurt _him_ that he couldn't do shit about it.

"What about fucking me, uh Jax?" she suddenly exploded. "Was fucking me always part of the plan or was it more of a spur of the moment thing? You know let's fuck the stupid girl who has no idea who she's letting into her bed?"

"Jesse..." he tried to plead.

"You knew how hard it is for me to trust anyone!" She interrupted, her voice shaking. "Against my best judgment, I let you into my life, I let you into my home! God, I let you into my bed! I told you everything about me. Things I should never have shared with anyone. And this whole time you were manipulating me."

"No, Jesse, I lied to you because I was trying to protect my club. Then you and I, we started this thing and I lied to you to protect you."

"Bullshit! You were protecting yourself!" She shouted accusingly.

Regret rushed through his veins as the truth of her words sunk in. "I tried to walk away. I know I should have walked away."

"Yes. You should have." she spat as tears welled up in her eyes. "So why didn't you?"

"Same reason you didn't run today. I couldn't."

She quickly wiped the tears that were starting to come down on her cheeks refusing to give in.

"I told you there were things I couldn't tell you, Jesse. I gave you an out. You didn't take it. You didn't want to walk away from this thing anymore than I did."

"I didn't know any better! But you did!" She angrily pointed at the table behind him. "You sat right there, you looked me in the eye and you told me you loved me, you told me you'd never hurt me. Well guess what Jax? You just did."

"I'm sorry."

She squeezed her eyes closed to try and collect herself, letting herself fall into the bar stool behind her. She rubbed her eyes, suddenly worn out, the conversation weighting on her. But she had to know the rest. All of it. She fixed her gaze on him again. "Stahl said that you and the club run illegal guns, I'm guessing that's also true?"

To his credit, he met her eyes dead on, but he didn't offer any answers.

"Wow, your silence is deafening Jax."

"We simply provide a service to people who would get it elsewhere if it wasn't through SAMCRO."

She snorted in disbelief. "Oh, so I guess you guys are just believers in the free enterprise living the American dream. Well I guess that makes it all okay right?"

"This isn't about right and wrong."

"Clearly not." She scoffed in mock astonishment. She waved her arms in the air, bitterness creeping into her face "God, I can not believe this is happening to me again! What is wrong with me? How did I managed to get involved with felons not once, but twice ? I mean what kind of stupid idiot lets that happen?"

That hurt. Being compared in any way to that man, that coward, make his blood boil. He clenched his jaws. "I'm not him Jesse."

"Could have fooled me." came the cold answer.

They fell into a loaded silence, each of them standing at a corner of a room, unsure what to say next. Jesse finally cleared her throat. "Who else knows I was there that night?"

"No one."

"Well, that's not exactly right is it? Because Hale knows. And Stahl. And I'm guessing Chief Unser. Do you know what this mean for me? For my life? Stahl knows I'm lying to her. She starts looking into my background, how long you think until she finds out I'm lying about who I am. When I ran from the feds, I lost my immunity Jax. I never testified against the Deluca's. My deal with the feds is dead. The judge who helped me back in Colorado has made sure that the records were sealed but I'm pretty sure Stahl has already traced me back there. If she manages to unseal the records, she'll find out who I am. All it takes is a picture or my prints for them to be sure and I'd be arrested for murder, Jax. And trust me when I say, I won't make it to trial, because the Deluca's would get to me first." Her voice wasn't angry anymore, it was resigned and sad.

Jax took a cautious step forward, a determined look on his face. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you Jesse. I don't give a shit who is coming after you, the FBI, Stahl, your crazy ex's family. I will never let anyone hurt you again. If you don't ever believe anything else I tell you, you need to believe that."

As she scanned his eyes, she knew with certainty he meant every word. She held each other's stare for a moment and as she opened her mouth to speak, someone knocked at the door.

She took the few steps to the door and opened it and couldn't help her surprise to see David Hale standing on the other side.

"Hi Jesse." He said with a courteous smile. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay, you left in such a-"

She watched him peer behind her and as his body stiffened, she knew he had seen Jax. He cast his eyes on her, his expression denoting his disapproval. "Jesse, can I speak to you for a moment please. Alone?"

Jax moved behind Jesse, getting uncomfortably close. "How about you get the hint and leave her alone man?"

"I wasn't talking to you, Jax." He retorted sternly Turning his attention back to Jesse, he insisted. "Jesse?"

She sighed impatiently . The last thing she wanted was to witness some stupid pissing contest between the two "Fine."

She threw a brief glance at Jax before following Hale down the driveway. Wrapping her arms across her chest as much for protection against the chill of the night as to ascertain her defensive position, she waited for him to speak.

"Jesse, I know you probably didn't know who you were getting involved with. But now you do. I can help you, I can protect you."

"I don't need any help. Especially not coming from you."

He looked as if he had been knee jerked. That wasn't the reaction he had expected. "Look, I know you're upset that I didn't tell you about the Sons. But now, you _know_. You know what they did. What _he_ did."

She pursed her lips in a thin line, refusing to acknowledge that.

He snapped, pointing an accusing finger to her house. "He's manipulating you Jesse!"

"With all due respect, you don't know the first thing about Jax and I." she scolded him.

"I've known Jax and the Sons a lot longer than you have Jesse, trust me. The last thing I want is to see you get hurt. I'm trying to help a friend here."

She waved her hand dismissively. "Just stop okay! You and I, we're not friends. You're just the cop who sold me out to Stahl to further his own ambitions. So you can take your self righteousness and shove it. And then you can get off my property. Goodbye Deputy."

Putting an end to the conversation, she turned on her heels and jogged back to the house leaving a shell shocked Hale behind. She slammed the door shut behind her, coming face to face with Jax.

"You didn't have to do that."

"I didn't do it for you. He used me just like everyone else because apparently I'm that girl. I'm the girl that gets pushed around because I'm too polite to say anything. Well, screw that. No more. So I need you to leave now."

"Jesse, please don't do this." He pleaded taking a step in her direction.

She moved backwards, raising her hand to stop him, "I won't say anything to anyone, you have my word on that. I won't…ever discuss this but you need to leave. Now."

"I love you."

"Don't! You don't get to say those words to me Jax. I don't- I don't even know who you are right now. I need time to think and I can't do that with you here. So I'm asking you… please leave." She choked.

Hating that he wasn't able to console her in any way that would be meaningful to her, he reached inside his cut and took out his notebook, setting it on the kitchen island.

"What are you doing?"

"Read it. You want to know if you know me? Read it. Because the guy I was when I was with you, Jesse, it's the same guy who's been scribbling shit in this notebook."

She took a few hurried strides to the island, snatching the notebook from the counter and handing it back to him. "Take it. I don't want it! Take it back!"

Jax could see now how hard she was struggling to keep it together and he instinctively reached for her arm.. She shoved off his arm."Don't! Just go!"

He didn't budge. Instead, he closed the gap between them and blocker her against the wall, capturing her neck with his hand, forcing her to face him. "Babe."

She jerked her face away, struggling against his hold but he held onto her until she stilled. Dropping her head to his chest, she clasped the front of his shirt and cried quietly. He tightened his hold on her, laying soft kisses on her hair Chanting her name in a whisper, like a mantra. Holding her so close was playing tricks on his body and he could feel it becoming alive with a primal need to feel her, be _with_ her.

He trailed his lips down to her neck and felt her body tense. Just as he thought she was about to protest and push him away, he felt her hands, which had been clenched in angry fists against his body, slide under his shirt and roam onto his back.

She raised her face but as he tried to capture her lips, she turned away avoiding his kiss. Meeting his confused eyes with defiance, she took the hem of his shirt in her fingers and pulled it off. Again, as he tried to take her face in his hands and kiss her, she shoved his hand away and closed her fingers onto his belt. He grabbed her wrists, craning them above her head and leaned forward, their mouths so close he could feel her breath on him. Burying his face in her neck, he let go of her arms and she grabbed his hair in a fist pulling him to her.

Bending slightly, Jax locked his hands behind her legs and lifted her off the floor as she circled his waist with her legs before he carried her to the bedroom.

As he set her back onto the floor, he grasped at her blouse and pulled it of her while she clawed at his jeans. Left in their underwear, they stumbled backwards onto the bed but not before Jax swiftly removed her bra. She tried to sit up but he pushed her back into the mattress and removed his boxers, revealing his erection. He kneeled over her pulling off her panties and knowing without having to ask that she was ready, he pushed inside her. She moaned, digging her nails into his back as he pulled out and sunk into her again.

He felt her hands moving to his ass, directing him deeper into her and pushed himself up on his hands as he slammed into her, each thrust gaining in intensity. There was nothing sweet or romantic about their lovemaking. It was raw and ferocious. It wasn't about giving, but about taking.

Jax felt his release coming but wanted her to come first. He locked his arms beneath her knees opening her up as he buried himself deeper into her, moving at a frenzied pace. She gripped the sheets, arching her back with a groan of pleasure, as she contracted around him and came hard. He pressed against her, his hands still holding her knees as he pushed inside her one last time, reaching his own climax.

* * *

><p>Jax woke with a start, the rays of sunshine filtering through the blinds warming his cheek. The other side of the bed was empty. He scratched his beard and turned to the alarm clock. It was six am in the morning.<p>

After they had sex the night before, they'd laid there motionless for a long time, neither saying a word to break the deadly silence between them until Jesse walked into the bathroom, locking herself in. He'd heard her start the shower and had waited for a long time for her to come out. In the end, he had been unable to fight sleep any longer and had nodded off.

His nostrils were teased by the inviting smell of coffee coming from the other room and he knew she was probably sitting in the kitchen, waiting for him to wake up. He got off the bed and jumped into the shower. He didn't know what to expect when he finally faced her. What he did know was that he'd meant every word when he'd told her that he would regret losing her for the rest of his life. He could just hope that she'd heard him. Refreshed, he stepped out of the cabin, casting judgmental eyes on his reflection in the mirror. He dried himself up and got promptly dressed before making his way towards the kitchen.

She was sitting at the counter, quietly sipping her coffee just like he knew she would. Her eyes had the red puffiness of someone who had cried too many tears, and the fatigue on her face was accentuated by the way her hair was pulled back into a severe bun. He stood on the other side of the counter, giving her space. "Hey. Did you get any sleep?"

"Not really."

She pressed her palm on his journal which was still set where he'd left it the night before. "I read it. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do with all this, Jax. I have been sitting here for hours, trying to reconcile the man I fell for, the man who wrote those things and the man who walked into a bar and killed two men in cold blood, the same man who runs guns for a living. I'm trying Jax. I just…I look at you and all I see is the lies and the deception and it's … it's killing me."

"I'm so sorry."

"I know…I just- it doesn't make it better Jax. It doesn't make any of it better."

He gripped the counter between them. "I don't know what else to say."

She took a deep breath, gathering the courage to ask the question that had been burning her lips. "What happens now? With the club?"

"Whatever happens between you and I, I got to come clean, Jesse. Tell the club the truth."

She nodded, staring into space. "What happens to me after that?"

"Nothing." he stated forcefully. "Jesse, I meant what I said last night. No one is going to hurt you."

Her mouth curled into a sad smile. "And I'm just supposed to believe you? "

He understood where she was coming from. He did. But he somehow needed to get through to her. He pointed to a spot in the room. "Three days ago, you stood right there. And you told me that you trusted me. That there was no truth that would change that."

"It's not fair." She countered, raising her chin. "You can't use words I said before I … knew any of this against me."

"I'm not. I'm just asking you to trust me on this."

She stared into his eyes for a long beat, as if she could read the truth into them before nodding. She opened her mouth to say something but the words stuck in her throat. When she finally spoke, her voice was cracked. "What about you? What happens to you when they find out you lied?"

"I honestly don't know. You don't have to worry about me Jesse. I'll be fine. You should get to work."

She shook her head, jumping off the stool, walking to the sink. "I can't. I called in sick. I can't be at work right now."

"Okay. I should go." He went to the couch, picking up his cut and putting it on, before he picked up his journal from the counter. She still wasn't looking at him as he gazed lovingly at her. As he reached the door, he heard her call out to him.

"Jax?"

He turned to face her. "Yeah?"

"Promise me you'll be careful." She breathed out.

"Promise me you'll be there when I get back."

Faced with her silence, he had a sad smile. "That's what I thought."

* * *

><p><em><strong>This story has now reached over 100 reviews so I wanted to take the opportunity and say a warm thank you to everyone who has read, alerted and reviewed this story. You guys have inspired me a little more on each chapter and pushed me to work harder to deliver the best story I can. Your reviews, PMs and alerts always put a smile on my face and I hope that you continue to enjoy the ride with me.<strong>_

_**Thanks Again!**_


	25. How do you know when it's over?

**CHAPTER XXV**

**How do you know when it's over?**

Gemma sat at the table, blowing on her steaming cup of coffee wondering what the hell was going on with her son. He had left Teller-Morrow like the devil was after him the day before and she had no idea where he'd been since. She had tried calling several times but he had ignored all her calls.

She had been certain for a while that he had been hiding something from the club and her last conversation had only served to confirm it. The only thing she didn't know was how the little doctor bitch was involved.

She needed to find out the truth so she could try and help her son. She quickly finished her cup of coffee and stood to put it in the sink when she heard a light knock on the door. As she opened the door, she was pleasantly surprised to find Jax standing on the other side.

"Jackson." She sighed with relief as she pulled him into her arms.

"Hey Ma."

She pulled back, casting a worried look on him. His eyes were bloodshot and downcast. He looked like someone who hadn't had a good night sleep in a while "Where the hell have you been baby?"

He sighed. "It's a long story."

"Come in." she ordered him as she moved away from the door to let him in, You want some coffee?"

She was almost surprised when he nodded. "Thanks. Is Clay here?"

"No. He's already left. He had some errands to run." she informed him as she set a cup of coffee on the table. he sat down and she took place in the chair facing him."You know we never finished our conversation, you and I."

"I know."

"What's going on Jax?" she pressed.

"You were right mom." he admitted teary eyed. "I got to tell the club the truth. I don't know where that lands me."

"Jesus, Jackson, what did you do?"

he shook his head. "It's club business mom. Got to bring it to the table."

Gemma felt a sudden anger rise in her. She knew for a fact this had something to do with the little meeting she had witnessed between that ATF bitch and the doctor at the hospital. "How is _she_ involved?"

"It's not your concern, mum."

She didn't relent though and continued insisting. "Jackson, you have to give me something here."

" It's my fault. I should have never gotten her into all this. I was stupid, Mom. Stupid and selfish."

She couldn't remember seeing her son like this. He looked properly broken hearted. Even after Tara left, she had never seen him so...hopeless. "You are scaring the shit out of me, Jax."

He stood slowly and walked around the table, bending over to kiss her forehead."Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I'll see you later."

She knew there was no point in trying to stop him. If he had decided not to tell her, he wouldn't. But she needed information and by god she was going to get it.

-oOo-

Stahl walked out of her superior's office, making a conscious effort not to slam that asshole's door behind her and walked back to her desk. He had just given her a ultimatum. She had a week to make some progress on the investigation into the Son or he was pulling the plug on the entire investigation and having her reassigned. This shithead had been trying to get her since the day she'd transferred to the Lodi office after a messy affair had ended badly in her previous office. A she sat at her desk, Morris looked up, his face telling her he had bad news.

"Hey. I just heard from the Nevada judge . Our motion to unseal the records has been denied."

"On what grounds?" she cackled.

"Good cause. Judge ruled we didn't offer a sufficiently compelling reason to unseal the records."

Stahl frowned in confusion. "Doesn't that sound weird to you?"

"Sounded weird to the clerk too. She told me it's the first time she ever sees a request coming from a federal agency be denied." he confirmed with a smile.

Stahl stood and paced around the desk for a moment as she thought through the implications of what she'd just heard. Something wasn't right here but she couldn't quite point to what. She turned back to Morris. "You still have this contact in the witness protection program?"

It was his turn to look at her in confusion. "What are you thinking?"

"I don't know. But something is not right here. "

"I can call him. See if he can find out anything?"

"Do it but don't give him anything though." she urged. "Last thing I need is the FBI swooping in here. Just say her name popped up in an investigation."

"Alright."

She bit on her finger as another idea came to her mind. She waited a moment before she voiced her thoughts. "I'm starting to think maybe we're looking at this from the wrong angle."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we originally thought that Jesse Granger had been on this thing from the beginning but when I spoke to her yesterday, she looked ... betrayed. What if she didn't know about the Sons? "

"How do you explain her and Teller?" Morris challenged her.

She smiled brightly. She was finally getting somewhere. "You remember in her testimony, she said she had dropped her pepper spray and someone came into the bathroom but didn't check her stall. She also said she lost her pass that night. I think it was Teller. He came into the bathroom, he found her pass, he took it, and he told his brothers no one was in there."

"Why would he do that?"

"Save an innocent. Guilty conscience. Who knows. But here's something I know. If I'm right, I guarantee you Clay Morrow doesn't know about it. Call Charming. Have them pick up Clay Morrow." she instructed her partner as she took her jacket from the back of her chair and put it one. "It's time I had a little conversation with El Presidente. Let him know what his step son has been up to. I don't think he would see too kindly to a having a witness out there."

"What about the doctor? Isn't that going to put her in danger?"

"We'll put eyes on her." she reassured him. "If Clay tries anything, we'll get him for that."

"What if he doesn't take the bait?"

She already knew what else she was going to do but she wasn't ready to share that just yet. "Let me worry about that."

-oOo-

Clay pulled onto the Teller Morrow parking lot and parked his bike in its usual spot. He'd taken a ride to try and clear his head, think about some things. Gemma had been jumpy and distracted all night and when asked about it, she had been very evasive in her answers. He'd also seen the tension between her and Jax during their conversation the day before and he knew she lied to him when she told him they were just catching up. They'd been arguing he could tell. And usually he wouldn't get involved between Gemma and her son but usually his old lady wouldn't be trying to lie to him. He knew her enough to know that if she had decided she wasn't telling him, there would be no changing her mind. So if he wanted answers, he knew he had to turn to the other part of the Teller equation, his step son and ask him point blank.

He stepped off his bike and spotted Tig cleaning the grease from his hands as he approached him. "Hey man, where you been?"

"Just running some errands. You seen Jax?"

"He hasn't come in. Everything okay."

"Yeah, yeah everything is fine. Send him to me when he shows up."

"Sure boss."

Clay turned around to walk in the clubhouse direction when he saw a police car pulling in and coming to a stop in the middle of the lot. Hale came out followed by ayoung officer Clay vaguely placed.

"Morning Clay." Hale called out with a tone he knew pompeous.

Clay smirked. "Now Hale, if you liked hanging out here so much, you could have prospected for the club."

"I need to come with us to the station. ATF has some questions they want to ask."

Tig took a few menacing steps towards the cop. "Why can't you fuckers just accept you got nothing on SAMCRO and move on?"

Clay put his hand on Tig's arm and narrowed his eyes on Hale. "So why is it that you're doing ATF bitch work now?"

Hale didn't lose his phlegme and ignored the dig. "Are you coming?"

Clay turned to Tig, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

"I'll follow you." Tig offered straight away.

"Nah. Stay here. Let the other guys know where I am."

"You want me to call Lowen?"

"With her hourly rate, I'll call her when I actually have something to worry about."

-oOo-

Jesse wasn't sure how long she'd been standing in the shower staring absently at the tiles on wall but as her body shivered in reaction to the cold water, she realised she must have been there for quite some time. She hurriedly turned off the water, wrapping herself in her fluffy robe. Despite her best effort to clear her head and think about something else, her mind kept taking her back to Jax.

Last night had been a heart breaking experience for her, the sting of betrayal hurting her more than she could have possibly imagined, but she was starting to realise that there was some truth to what Jax had told her. She hadn't wanted to know. She hadn't wanted to find out what him and his club did for a living. And she knew it was probably because somewhere deep inside she'd known.

Jesse wanted to believe that she didn't know how she got there, that she had no control over her life anymore. But deep down she knew she was making excuses. She did have control. That was what killing Nick all those years ago had given her. Control over her life. The reality was that she had trusted Jax. She had trusted him enough to let him into her life, she had trusted him enough to fall in love with him and she had trusted him enough to tell him the story of her past. Because she loved him. That was why although she wanted to hate him, she hadn't been able to resist his presence the previous night. She didn't want to lose him. But then she didn't know how to move forward with him or if that was even possible. Could they really be together after this? Would she be able to trust him?

With a sad sigh, she walked into her bedroom, opening her wardrobe to take some clothes out. She quickly picked a jeans and an old tee shirt and threw them on, wondering for the hundredth time if he was okay. She knew he was ready to tell his club the truth about her and if she was worried about her safety, she found herself worrying about his more. She had no idea the lengths at which his club might go and she was scared he might be in danger. She was furious with him and she didn't know if they could still have a relationship after what had transpired the day before but the last thing she wanted was for him to get hurt or worse.

As she pulled her hair into a low ponytail, she was startled by someone banging on her door. She quickly made her way to her front door and checked for the visitor through the peep hole. She probably should have been surprised to see Gemma Teller-morrow on the other side of the door but somehow she wasn't. She just felt very tired at the idea of what was coming. The woman looked like a woman on a mission and she knew she wasn't leaving here until she had it out with Jesse.

"I know you're in here Doc!" she heard Gemma call out. "Your car is in the driveway."

"Shit" Jesse sighed before she unlocked her door. "Hi Gemma, I'm sorry but if you're looking for Jax, he's not here."

"That's fine. I'm here to see you."

Jesse cleared her throat and tried to make up a lie in the off chance she could get rid of the woman. "I'm kind of in a hurry this morning."

"Yeah" Gemma sniggered. "I see that. But I suggest you make the time."

"What's going on?"

"You tell me. "Gemma spat, pursing her lips. "And spare me the innocent act because that's not working anymore. My son's been lying to his club because of you and I want to know why and I want to know it right now."

Jesse met her glare defiantly. "Did you ask him?"

"I'm asking _you_."

"Gemma…" Jesse started.

"I'm not leaving here until I hear some goddamn truth so I suggest you start talking because my son is about to walk into his clubhouse and tell his brothers he's been lying to them and I want to know what I'm supposed to expect when I get there."

Her vehement reaction struck something in Jesse and the fear that something might happen to Jax washed over her again. She swallowed hard. "Would they... would they hurt him?"

"That's not something you or I want to find out. Trust me on that" was Gemma's reply.

Jesse thought about it for a moment before she moved away from the door, allowing Gemma into her house. Gemma walked in but stayed by the door, putting her hand on her hip to show her impatience.

Jesse took a deep breath. "A few months ago, I was a witness in a crime. Two men got killed in a bar. I was hiding in the bathroom."

"Jesus Christ."

Jesse locked eyes with Gemma. "I think we both know what I'm talking about."

She could see the hundreds of questions in the woman's eyes but she voiced the most obvious one."What about you and Jax?"

"He wanted to make sure I didn't know anything about that night so he made sure to get close to me." It hurt just to say the words and Jesse had to fight to control the tremor in her voice.

"Did you? Know anything?"

Jesse sniggered "I don't think I'd be standing here, talking to you right now if I had."

The pieces of the puzzle were finally starting to make sense in Gemma's mind. "Is that why that fed bitch was visiting you yesterday?"

"How did you know that?" Jesse replied surprised.

"Nevermind that."

"She found out about Jax and I. She thinks I was involved. Some sort of distraction tactic."

"Stupid bitch." Gemma spat with disgust. "Do you realise what Jax is about to do?"

Jesse ran a hand in her hair. "He said he had to tell the club the truth. "

Gemma took a step towards Jesse, staring intently at her. "He's going to walk into a room and tell his brothers, men who value loyalty above all else that he's been lying to them for weeks about a threat to their club."

"I'm not a threat."

"Really? Then what are you doing here?" Gemma challenged. "A few days ago, you stood in my house and told me that you loved my son. That he changed you, made you stronger and I asked you if there was any truth that would make you change your mind about my son."

jesse shook her head. "It's a little more complicated than that Gemma. "

"No it's not. You said you wanted a future with him."

"I didn't know the truth then."

"You sure about that? Because That future you were talking about? It's right here, sweetheart. You want to be his old lady? Prove you love him? This is your moment. You stand by your man no matter what. That's what we do. You stand by them and be their true north. And if you can't do that, if you can't be right there for him when he needs you to, then you might as well stay out of his life for good." Gemma stared into Jesse's eyes for a moment before walking to the door and exiting the house leaving a lost and confused Jesse behind.

-oOo-

Jax was ready. He knew it was time for the truth to come out. He was tired of lying to his brothers. In some sense, he was relieved Jesse knew the truth. Now if she decided to forgive him, if they somehow managed to pull through for this mess, they could start fresh, be 100% honest with each other. If somehow they could recover from this, he knew there was nothing they could not take. If they managed to find their way back. He didn't know if that was possible. He knew how hurt she was by his lies, how betrayed she felt. He'd seen in her eyes, he'd heard it in her voice. He also knew that if he lost her because of this, of he lost her because of his lies he would never forgive himself. He pulled onto the parking lot and before he could even step off his bike, Opie was taking long strides towards him, concern readable on his face.

"We got a problem. Hale picked up Clay. Said the feds wanted to talk to him."

Immediately, Jax senses were in high alert. " Did they say why?"

"My guess is it's about the shooting."

"You're heading there?"

"Nah. Clay said not to." Opie informed him before pointing to the clubhouse. The boys are inside waiting to hear."

Jax let out a long sigh, as exhaustion washed over him. He ran his hand in his messy hair. "Jesus Christ."

"You want to tell me what's going on brother? And don't give me any of the usual bullshit."

Jax locked eyes with his best friend trying to decide how to come clean, to find the right words to explain himself but Opie didn't give him the time as he continued. "Is this about your girl? She was hiding in the bathroom that night wasn't she?"

Jax swallowed hard as his best friend drilled into him. "How long you known?"

"I didn't. Had my suspicions for a while. You just confirmed it."

"I never meant to lie bro."

"Why did you?" Opie countered.

"I didn't want her to get hurt. Clay, Tig, Hap? I love them but... if they had to, they'd kill her without blinking. I didn't want to shed the blood of an innocent. I didn't expect..." he trailed off unwilling to continue.

"Does she know?"

Jax nodded in response. "She found out from Stahl yesterday. She won't say anything, I trust her."

Opie scratched his beard, getting lost in thoughts for a moment. "You know, you need to tell the others Jax."

"I know. "Jax agreed solemnly. "I was planning on telling everyone today."

Opie placed a hand on his best friends shoulder and squeezed gently. "I got your back bro. You know that."

"Thanks Opie." Jax replied truly grateful as his friend pulled him into his arm to share a brotherly hug,

-oOo-

Clay was losing his patience. He knew this was all part of those ATF bitches tactics but he was tired of their mind games. he had been waiting there for more than an hour and he was sick of it. Just as he was about to walk out the room, the door opened and Stahl walked in a smirk on her face"Mr Morrow. Thanks for coming down on such short notice."

"You've already wasted an hour of my time today so how about you get to the point? " he spat as he glowered at her.

"Sure. You can start by telling me where you were the night of February 27th.

Clay couldn't believe his ears. He laughed out loud. "Are you kidding me?"

"No. Actually, I'm not."

"Lady I don't have to fucking tell you shit." he stated matter-of-factly. "You got nothing on me and you got nothing on my club so how about you cut the crap and tell me why you brought me here? "

"What if I told you, we have a witness. One that places you and your club on the crime scene that night."

Clay flashed her a smile"You're so full of shit. If you did have a witness that could incriminate me or my club, purely hypothetically of course, you'd have already arrested us. So why don't you stop wasting both our times trying to stir shit up? Don't you have actual criminals to go after?"

Stahl raised her hands in mock surrender. "You're a smart man Clay. And you're right. I don't have a witness. Because whatever she knows, she's not talking. You and your club did a real good job convincing her to keep her mouth shut."

Clay didn't respond and didn't show any reaction. But something in what she said unnerved him. In the way she was saying it. She smiled at him and bend over the table as if she was about to share a big secret. "But just so you know, I'm a smart woman too. And I'm not going to stop until I get what I want. I'll make her talk. And when she does, you and your club are going to jail for the rest of your miserable lives. Go ahead and call my bluff Clay."

They remained immobile for a moment, glaring at each other with all the hate they could muster before she stood, that irritating smug expression back on her face. "I'll have a car take you back. It was nice talking to you Clay. I'm sure we'll speak again soon."

She exited the room and ran smack into David Hale who had clearly been waiting for her to finish.

"So now you want to tell me why you had me bring him here?"

"Just having a friendly catch up."

Hale was starting to understand how she worked and he clearly didn't approve of her methods. He narrowed his eyes on her. "What did you do?"

"I told Clay morrow we had a witness." Stahl confided, annoyed by Hale self righteousness. "I'm sure it's only a matter of time before he figures out who it is."

"You're using her as bait?" he hissed furiously. "Do you have any idea if the danger you just put her in?

"Don't throw your panties in a bunch Deputy. I have eyes on her. She'll be watched 24/7. She's safe."

"Do you get off using other people to get what you want? She's an innocent in all this.

"Oh please!" Stahl snapped, losing her temper. "We did a background check on your dear Dr Granger. She doesn't check out. She's has been lying to us since the beginning of this investigation, she is in a relationship with one of our primary suspects and she's refused to cooperate. Open your eyes David. She's the one using you. Whatever she's hiding, Jesse Granger has made her bed."

* * *

><p><strong>I know, I know, this chapter is a long time coming. Thanks all for the continuous support and for reading.<strong>

**I particularly want to thank NL92 for keeping me motivated and helping me find the inspiration needed to continue with this story when I had lost it.**

**Hope you guys enjoy and please review!**


	26. We found love

**Chapter XXVI**

**We found love**

Clay had been living life as an outlaw for more than thirty years. He knew when he was being played. He was very aware that Stahl was playing a long con on him. But he also knew the truth when he heard it. She wasn't bluffing when she said she had a witness. It suddenly all made sense. It all came back to the noise they'd heard in the bathroom that night. The noise that one of their own had gone in to check out, the same guy who had suddenly started a relationship with a woman none of them had heard of before, the very guy Clay had been calling a son since he was fifteen years old. It hadn't taken long for Clay to figure out exactly who the witness was. It was the woman who had sat at his diner table not a few days ago. Dr Jesse Granger.

He could not believe his step son had had the gall to lie to his face and to the face of his brothers and put his club, the one he'd founded with John Teller more than 30 years ago, in jeopardy.

His relationship with Jax had always been a complex one. The kid worshipped his father like a goddamn hero and wanted nothing more than to walk in his footsteps, be the future for SAMCRO. If only how misguided he was and how much of a coward his father had been. But as much a Clay wished he could tell his stepson just what kind of leader John Teller had been, it would only serve to incriminate him and Gemma in his former best friend's demise. So he would have to find another way to show his step son and vice-president the error of his ways.

As the patrol car that was driving him back, pulled into Teller-Morrow, he spotted Jax and Opie smoking a cigarette by the picnic table. One of the officers stepped off the vehicle and opened the door for Clay who smirked at him.

"Thanks for the drive."

The officer narrowed his eyes on him but did not engage before he walked back into the car. Within seconds, the car was gone and Clay made his way towards his men.

As Jax approached him, he opened his mouth to talk but Clay did not give him the chance. He lunged at him and landed a solid punch on his step-son's jaw. Jax was so surprised by the hit that he did not have time to react before Clay landed a punch on his gut. Jax's instincts finally kicked in and he jumped at Clay, sending them both to the floor. The rest of the club alerted by the commotion came out and in seconds they were separating them.

Bobby put himself in the middle, his head turning from one to the other, incomprehensively. "What the hell is going on with you two?"

"Why don't you ask our VP?" Clay spat with all the contempt he could muster as he shook himself free from Happy and Tig's hold.

At that moment, Jax's fear was confirmed and he realised that Clay had found out the truth. He let out a sigh."I was gonna tell the club."

Bobby shifted his inquisitive eyes on Jax. "Tell the club what?"

"Why the ATF has been sniffing up our asses. That's what." Clay interjected before Jax had a chance to formulate a response.

"Boys, whatever this is, keep it for church." Piney remarked, jerking his head towards the parking lot.

At some point during their fight, a car had pulled onto the parking lot. A car Jax knew very well. Jo was standing by the drivers door looking horrified. She locked eyes with Jax and it took all the strength he had not to go to her and get her out of here as fast as he could. He didn't want her here, he had no idea where this thing with the club might swing and he wanted to know she was safe.

Before he could make a move, Happy's grave voice resonated behind him. "Let's take it inside, boys."

Jax was torn. He didn't want to leave her like this after what she had just witnessed but he knew he needed to get inside and explain himself to his brothers. He was somewhat relieved when he saw Gemma approach Jesse and pull her by the arm towards the office. His mother turned to him giving him a nod of reassurance. He darted his eyes back to Jesse one more time and headed inside.

-oOo-

Jax took a nervous drag from his cigarette, exhaling smoke before he spoke. "The night of the hit of Frank and Bobby Ray. We heard a noise in the bathroom and I went to have a look. Then I said it was nothing. I lied. Someone was hiding inside one of the stalls."

"What?" Bobby shouted.

Tig's eyes went from Clay to Jax. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Jax knew he needed to keep going and tell the whole story before this went south. "I knew chances were that person had not seen shit. It was a matter of wrong place, wrong time. So I made a judgment call."

"You made a judgment call?" Tig spat with disdain. "Are you fucking serious with this shit?"

Jax swallowed hard, ignoring Tig's attack. "I found a pass on the floor. Told myself I'd check it out to know what the next move was."

"So you let a witness go on a hunch?" Bobby voiced, incredulous.

"She didn't see anything!"

"You didn't know that then did ya?" Tig continued like a dog with a bone. "What if she had?"

Jax took a deep breath as he tried to find the right words to explain himself. "We went there that night to right a wrong. Kill the animas who raped a kid. I wasn't going to let anyone be collateral damage if I could help it."

Tig cackled contemptuously. "Jax Teller, the big fucking hero. So you put us at risk to protect some bitch we didn't even know?

"Why Jackie?" Chibs interjected, trying to understand.

"Because I'm not in the business of killing women."

"Tell them the rest." Clay ordered through gritted teeth.

A cold silence fell on the table for a moment. Jax looked at each of his brothers apologetic and met Opie's look. He encouraged him with a nod and Jax continued. "I found a pass on the floor. Name, photo. Found out where she worked, followed her for a while."

"Wait a minute. It's the fucking doc isn't it?" Tig laughed before his face contorted into rage. "You fucking son of a bitch! We got cops and feds crawling up our asses and you decide to start fucking the one person who can send us all to jail for life?"

"I already told you she didn't know anything!"

"Yeah?" Tig challenged as he stood up in a hug. "How about I got out there? Find out for myself."

Jax jumped to his feet pointing a menacing finger towards Tig. "You stay the fuck away from her Tig."

"Enough!" Clay yelled as he smacked the table with his hand. "Sit down Tig. Sit down! Whether she knew or not, it doesn't really matter anymore. She knows now, doesn't she?"

Jax nodded dejectedly. "Stahl told her. She won't say anything. I trust her."

"No one around this table gives a shit how much you trust her man, it's whether we can trust her. "

"She's not a threat Clay." Jax insisted.

"Yeah? Well, I want to hear that from her."

-oOo-

Jesse looked towards the clubhouse for the hundredth time but there was no sign of any of the men. She was still trying to process what had happened. After Gemma's speech at her house, she had slammed the door and tried to put all thoughts of Jax, Gemma or anything to do with the Teller's out of her mind. But no matter how hard she tried, Gemma's word kept ringing in her ears. No matter how mad she was at Jax, no matter how betrayed, she owed him. It wasn't about how much she loved him or how much he meant to her, that was important but more than any of that, she owed him her life. She had realised that when she'd seen the fear in Gemma's eyes that her son might get hurt.

He had known that hiding her presence in the bathroom from the club that night would put him danger. He'd known that and yet he had made the decision to protect her. He had made that decision before he even knew her, before there were any feelings involved. He'd wanted to protect someone he viewed as innocent from any blowback even that meant putting his own future on the line. So when Gemma had told Jesse that her son would never hurt someone like Nick hurt her, Jesse had known she was speaking the truth. Jax had saved her life that night and although he'd hurt her badly, it was her turn to be there for him. So she'd quickly gotten to her car, trying to get to the auto shop as fast as she could. She had had no idea of what she was walking into but she had known that she couldn't stand idly by while Jax might be in danger, or she'd never forgive herself. She hadn't been prepared for what she'd seen on the parking lot when she had arrived though; Jax and his step father having a physical altercation in front of the clubhouse whilst the other club members tried hard to separate them.

Once they'd realised that Jesse was watching them from the parking lot, they had gone inside and Gemma had pulled her into her office to wait. But it had been a while now and Jesse was getting very anxious. She turned to Gemma who was fixated on the clubhouse, worry visible in her eyes.

"You think he is okay in there?"

Gemma didn't answer straight away and when she did, it was as if she wasn't talking to Jesse but to herself. "I hope so."

This seemed to take her out of her trance because she shifted her look back to Jesse. "Can I ask you something Doc?

Jesse almost laughed at the rhetorical question. "If I said no would that stop you?"

Gemma pursed her lips together, uncrossing her leg and trained her eyes on Jesse. "How about you tell me how it is that a girl like you seems to know a whole lot about how our world works?

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"Sure you do." Gemma sniggered. "The way you are around him, deferring to him, taking your cues from him. You seem to know the rules without anyone explaining them to you and I honestly doubt they teach you that in college."

Jesse avoided the matriarch inquisitive look and turned back to the clubhouse. It was uncanny this ability that Gemma seemed to have to read her as easily as she could read a book. Was Jesse really this transparent? But a thought suddenly came to Jesse. Did it even matter if Gemma knew or not at this point? She decided that it didn't and spoke. "I was married. A long time ago. His family was a lot like yours."

"Bikers?"

"Felons." Jesse shot back.

"What happened?" Gemma nagged. "Had enough of the life? Wanted something safer?"

"Something like that." Jesse answered soberly. "I guess I just got tired of being used as his punching ball three times a week. And I did not leave that shit behind to become yours or your family's, Gemma."

Gemma wasn't lost for words very often. But hearing this woman who seemed so together admit something like that in such a casual way stunned her into silence. She had not seen that coming. She couldn't help the ping of sympathy she felt for the young woman and felt compelled to say something. "Jax would never lay a hand on you. Or on any woman for that matter."

"Says the woman who gave birth to him."Jesse sneered.

Gemma put a hand on Jesse's arm. "He wouldn't. And if you didn't believe me you wouldn't be here right now. "

Jesse met Gemma's intense stare and for the first time she saw sincerity in her eyes. Feeling self–conscious for sharing this part of her life, she averted her eyes back to the clubhouse just in time to see Jax coming out of the clubhouse. She stood in a flash but didn't trust her legs to move so she just waited for him to come to her.

As he reached them his mother took his face in her hands, pouring over him with concern."Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Mum. Give us a minute?"

Gemma looked from him to Jesse, before nodding reluctantly. After she left, Jax turned to Jesse. "You shouldn't have come here."

She met his eye trying to control the slight tremor in her voice. "Yeah, I did."

He ran a hand over his face, exhaling loudly as he did. "I'm sorry Jesse. I'm sorry I got you in the middle of all this. I wish I could change that."

She knew he was sorry. She just needed facts now. "Do they know?"

He simply nodded and she pressed on, wanting to know where she now stood. "So what happens now?"

"Clay wants to talk to you. He wants to be sure the club can trust you."

She couldn't say she had not seen it coming. The idea of finding herself alone with the President of the club wasn't something she relished but she also knew there was no way out of it now. She was there, might as well go through with it. "Okay. I'll do it."

"Jesse…"

She put her hand on his chest to stop him, trying to reassure him as much as herself. "I'll be fine, Jax. Promise. I just… I just want this all to end."

-oOo-

Jax sucked nervously on his cigarette as he watched the door to the chapel close on Jesse and felt more helpless than he had ever felt. It was like he had just watched the woman he loved walk into a lion's den. And it was all his fault. He had done that. By being selfish, by not walking away when he had the chance he had exposed her to the club and to the ATF. If something happened to her, he knew he would never be able to forgive himself. He turned back to face the bar, trying to ignore Tig who was staring daggers at him from the couch. Happy had removed himself from any conversation and was playing pool with Juice. Opie was sitting right by his side while Piney, Bobby and Chibs were sipping beers in silence. He knew they were pissed at him but he couldn't think about that right now. He was too worried about her.

He was so fixated on Jesse, he didn't feel the presence next to him until he felt a hand squeeze his shoulder. He turned and came face to face with Piney. His expression was unreadable and Jax braced himself.

"What you did? Protecting the innocent? It's what _he _would have done. It's what is going to make you a great president. Just like he was. Don't let anyone tell you any different."

Jax felt a lump on his throat at the mention of his father and wrapped his hand around Piney. "Thanks old man."

Seconds later, Chibs and Bobby were making their way to him. Chibs shook his head disapprovingly but open his arms. "Jackie boy. Come 'ere."

Jax accepted the hug, relieved that his old friend did not hold a grudge over this. He still felt like he had to apologies. "Sorry bro."

"She's gonna be okay, man."

Jax turned to his best friend with a grateful smile just as the door to the chapel opened and Jesse nervously walked out and made her way towards Jax under the stares of the other men. Clay appeared at the door and jerked his head calling his brothers inside.

Jax jumped to his feet. "You okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine.

"Jesse…"

'You should get 'll be waiting for you."

He casted sad eyes on her asking a silent question.

"I'll be here when you come out." Jesse reassured him, sharing a light kiss with him before he walked into the Chapel

oOo

"This is a messed up situation. Brothers lying to brothers, it's not what this club does. But Jax believed he was looking out for the club and after speaking to the Doc, she didn't see anything. She still wouldn't know it was us if that ATF bitch didn't tell her. She is the one we need to blame. The doc is in the clear."

"Clay, man We don't even know if we can trust her?"

"I do. I believe her and as far as this club is concerned she's in the clear."

Jax couldn't quite believe it. Of all the ways he had imagined this thing landing, he had never thought Clay would be so easily convinced. He didn't know what his step father and Jesse had been discussing for the last hour but something had obviously convinced Clay. "Thank you."

"What the fuck is this? This asshole lied to us, put this club in danger and now we're just going to say bygones?"

'It's done Tig. Get over it.' Clay spat before he stroke the gavel loudly. As his men stood to exit, he turned to Jax. " Don't ever lie to me or thia club again, Son."

jax met his president icy stare; there was no mistaking the threat in his eyes. Jax simply nodded and hurries out.

-oOo-

He found her outaide the clubhouse sitting at the picnic table with Opie. His best friend atood as soon as he saw Jax and after a quick embrace, he made a swift exit. Jax sat next to her. "You okay?"

She nodded with a faint smiled. "What happened in there?"

"You're safe Jesse.'

"Are you?"

"Thanks to you."

Jesse let out a relieved breath and darted her eyes on his face. "What happens now? With us?"

"You tell me."

She seemed to think about the question before she took his hand in hers. "Take me home first?'

He returned her smile as he got to his feet. " You want to ride with me? I'll get the prospect to drive your car back home."

"Okay."

-oOo-

Fifteen minutes later, Jesse and Jax entered her house. Jesse had a hard time wrapping her head around everything that had happened over the course of twenty four hours. it was just last night that the couple she formed with Jax had seemed over. But now, there seemed to be hope, a light at the end of the tunnel.

"Talk to me babe."

She realised she had been so lost in her own thoughts, she'd been ignoring his worried stare on her. She closed the gap between them, cupping his face in her hand. "Let's get you fixed up first."

With everything that had happened he had forgotten about the cuts and bruises from Clay's ring on his face. He followed Jesse into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bath while she cleaned up his face. When she was done, she delicately cupped his face in her hands. "You were right Jax. I couldn't walk away from this anymore than you could. Regardless of how we started, when you came into my life, you saved me. In more ways than one. I was drowning Jax. I was lonely and sad and you came into my life and you changed that. You changed me. I'm tired of running scared Jax. I love you and that's not going to change. That is never going to change."

He stood, suddenly level with her and pulled her towards him, capturing her lips with his. Her lips parted to give him access and his tongue took over her mouth with a passion he'd rarely felt. He raised a hand to her head, smoothing her soft hair back before letting his hand slide down her body to her waist, down the side of her legs. In one smooth movement, he lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist, their mouth still connected, refusing to let go of the other. The heat between them grew instantly as he walked them back to her bedroom. He reached the bed and delicately layed her down the bed. He hovered over her while they continued to kiss and his hands moved over her body touching every bit of skin that he could reach. When neither of them felt they could wait any longer, he sat up quickly removing his jeans and teeshirt before he helped her out of her clothes.

He crawled over her, finding solace on the warmth of her skin as he laid his body down on hers and reached down positioning himself at her entrance, easing his hips forward until he easily slide inside her.

"You feel so good baby." he whispered breathlessly in her ear.

"Jax," she simply breathed out in respons, her hands tightening around his skin as he moved in and out of her in a slow rythm.

After a moment she lifted her knees and wrapped her legs around his hips, causing the angle of penetration to deepen and he let out a breath against her neck. Jesse felt her inner muscles contract around him, knowing that her arousal was building, and he moved his hips faster, his strokes becoming less controlled.

She slid her hands down to his ass, pressing her fingertips into his flesh and gasping, "Right there, Jax."

He quickened his movements, deepening his strokes until he knew she was there, giving into her orgasm as he felt her muscles clench around him . He let her ride her orgasm for her moment and as she sank down into the mattress with her arms and legs still encircling him, he started to move again, pushing in and out of her as their skin clung together with perspiration.

Once again, he quickened his pace until he reached his own climax and finally let go wit a groan of pleasure as he exploded into her.

She was still wrapped around him as straightened up on his elbow and lifted his head to look at her with intensity. "I thought I lost you."

She ran her thumb on his lips softly. "You didn't. I'm right here Jax. I'm right here."

-oOo-

Tig was fuming. There wasn't a lot of things he held dear in his life, but his club and his livelihood and that of his brother was one of them. He ouldn't believe Clay was letting the little prince get out of this unscathed after the stunt he'd pulled on them. He had tried to forget about it with two croweaters earlier but once he'd been done, he felt his anger rise again. So he'd spent the afternoon at the clubhouse rehashing the events of the day with a bottle of whiskey for company. As he finished his drink, he stood up resolute and made his way towards the bar where Clay wasbusy drinking with Bobby.

"Can I have a word?Alone?"

Clay rolled his eyes theatrically and raised a hand towards the Chapel. "After you brother."

Tig stomped towards the Chapel, letting Clay inside before closing the door abruptlly.

"What now?"

"You really going to let him get away with this shit? Since when did we start trusting outsiders with our business Clay? Tell me man, when did the rules change? Or do they just not apply to the little prince? She's dangerous for this club and we both know it." Tig seethed, his anger palpable.

Clay met his angry eyes, unphased. "You done? Sit."

Tig clenched his jaw but didn't respond as he watched his president sit at his seat.

"Sit down Tig." Clay repeated as his SAA finally did as told.

Clay took his sweet damn time, lighting a cigar before he turned back to Tig. "Here's the thing. The last few months, with ATF trying to stick SAMCRO with a RICO case, all that shit with Jax, it's getting to the club. Kid's got big ideas on where he wants to take this club. Change it. Some of the guys out there are starting to listen to him. But you and I we understand how things work. And those guys need to be able to know who to trust. Jax just showed they can't trust him. Me going after his woman? It doesn't send the right message. "

Tig took it all in and sighed in frustration. "So what do we do?"

"We let someone else deal with it."

"Who?"

Clay clenched his teeth around his cigar before he spoke. "Ever heard of Frank Accardo?"

The name did ring a bell to Tig although he wasn't sure where Clay was going with all this. "East Coast Italian family, right? "

Clay nodded to confirm and smirked. "What if I told you that the doc used to be married to his son?"

Tig had not seen that coming."You shitting me? She told you that?"

"Figured it would convince me to trust her." he shrugged.

"What happened?"

"She shot him dead. "Clay sniggered. "Asshole was beating her ass, shit got nasty, she smoked him."

"Holy shit. Does Jax know?"

"I assume he does. Important thing is, I'm sure Accardo would love to know where the bitch who killed his son is hiding. Would probably pay good money for the intel too. Maybe we call Jimmy Cacuzza, let him know. Buys us some good will with the Italians and gets rid of our own problems.

"What about Jax?"

Clay met his SAA's eyes with an icy stare. "The little prince never has to know where the intel came from."

* * *

><p><strong>We're closing in on the end, I think the story will be wrapped up by chapter 30. In the meanwhile I hope you continue to enjoy!<strong>

**Please read & review!**


End file.
